


Wonderland

by celmmings



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Clemmings, M/M, Muke - Freeform, and they're all just...them, michael is a bartender
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-15
Updated: 2015-09-02
Packaged: 2018-03-07 15:05:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 69,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3176582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celmmings/pseuds/celmmings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luke will never forget the first time he saw him. He was standing there in his natural place, behind the bar, fiddling around with different bottles with different liquids in them in all sorts of colors, but that’s not what caught Luke’s attention.</p><p>He was beautiful. His hair was such a bright red and his eyes flickered, the changing lighting reflecting in them and his smile, Luke is willing to swear that it could light up a whole town. When he looked in Luke’s direction for a split second, his heart stopped beating for what seemed like a whole hour.</p><p>He didn’t even know the guy, but he definitely wanted to.</p><p>Or the one where Luke definitely doesn't have a crush on the bartender with the flaming red hair. Michael has the prettiest eyes and a troubled past and Calum and Ashton are determined to make this the best summer of their lives.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. we found wonderland

**Author's Note:**

> So I'm extremely nervous about this, this is my first fanfic and I'm very excited about it, I hope you'll like it! Also I want to say thank you to my friend Liz who is awesome and helped me come up with the idea!
> 
> The fic's name and also the first chapter's title are inspired by Taylor Swift's song, Wonderland, which I listened to a lot while writing this.
> 
> Have fun reading and tell me what you think when you're done!

Luke will never forget the first time he saw him. He was standing there in his natural place, behind the bar, fiddling around with different bottles with different liquids in them in all sorts of colors, but that’s not what caught Luke’s attention.

He was beautiful. His hair was such a bright red and his eyes flickered, the changing lighting reflecting in them and his smile, Luke is willing to swear that it could light up a whole town. When he looked in Luke’s direction for a split second, his heart stopped beating for what seemed like a whole hour.

He didn’t even know the guy, but he definitely wanted to.

******

Luke would never be any more excited than he is right now, that would be impossible. He’s pacing around, keeps checking his suitcase and backpack, trying to make sure he didn’t forget to pack anything. Everything has to be perfect. Ashton and Calum are going to pick him up in a couple of minutes and he needs to be one hundred percent ready.

“Will you sit down for a minute? You’re giving me a headache,” Luke’s mother follows his every move and she seems to be getting dizzy because of him. He knows that’s not the real reason she wants him to sit down, though.

“Sorry, mom. I’m just really excited,” He smiles softly and she nods, patting the empty spot next to her on the couch. Luke sighs and immediately walks over to sit next to her, he knows she’s freaking out because it’s the first time he’s going to be so far away from her for this long.

“I’m going to miss you.” She whispers, brushing a streak of soft, blond hair out of Luke’s forehead, it must have fallen out of his not so perfectly styled quiff. She smiles at him with those sad eyes of hers and Luke fears he’s going to break down and start crying.

“I’m going to miss you too, but we’ll talk every day. Don’t worry, please?” He promises and she nods.

“It’s going to be really quiet here,” She sighs again and Luke’s heart breaks a little.

“It’s just two months, it’s summer vacation, and we’ll talk every single day, mom, I promise.” He pulls her into a big hug and she wraps her arms around him securely and rests her head against his shoulder.

“Ashton’s sure the beach house is big enough for the three of you, right?” she breaks the silence, her typical motherly worry now very clear in her voice.

“Yes, mom, it has two floors and five bedrooms, it’s going to be enough,” He chuckles and she nods, resting her head on his shoulder again.

“Are you going to take turns driving there? It’s a long drive.” She meets Luke’s eyes and he nods, reassuring her.

“Do you have enough money to last you for two months?” Luke rolls his eyes and turns to face her, grabbing a hold of her by her shoulders.

“I’m eighteen and so is Calum, not to mention Ashton’s twenty. We’re going to be just fine. Please stop worrying,” A small smile plays on his lips as he looks into her eyes, trying to calm her down, she was always the worrying type.

They sit there for a few more minutes, his mom asking him if he made sure his tooth brush is in his bag and if he packed enough clothes until the doorbell finally rings, making them both jump out of their seats.

Saying goodbye to his mom isn’t pleasant, he’s one of those kids who were always close with their moms and they never separated for so long. It takes a couple of really, really, long hugs and Ashton and Calum’s word that they’re going to take care of Luke as if he’s a baby that needs his friends to watch over him, and they’re out the door.

“I call shotgun!” Calum calls the second Luke’s mother closes the door behind them, sprinting to the car as if his life depends on it, making Luke and Ashton exchange an amused look.

“You’re a fucking cheater, Cal! We barely even left the house!” Luke shouts after him, getting to the car and fighting Calum’s tight grip on the handle.

“The car is locked, idiots!” Ashton yells, waving the keys around in the air.

“And don’t swear,” He shoots them a stern, warning look before pressing the button and unlocking the car. They immediately storm inside, elbowing and punching their way in.

“I called shotgun, Luke! Can’t you lose with dignity?” Calum growls as he lands on top of Luke, who’s sprawled all over the passenger’s seat, not ready to give up the ‘good seat’ just yet.

“You cheated, you can’t just call shotgun like that!” Luke sticks his tongue out which gives him an idea. He pushes himself up to his elbows, licking Calum’s cheek. Calum squeals in response and falls backwards, landing with his ass on the curb.

“I win.” Luke smirks cockily, sitting upright and looking down at the very annoyed Calum on the floor.

“You’re so gross,” He rolls his eyes, wiping Luke’s spit off his cheek with the back of his hand, but not getting up.

“Don’t you guys want to get going or stay here and sulk?” Ashton calls from the back of the car where he’s still loading Luke’s luggage on.

“But-“ Calum starts arguing, but Ashton cuts him off with a huff.

“We’re going to switch places anyway, since I’m not going to be the only one driving,” He closes the trunk and moves to stand next to Calum, looking down at him.

“Fine.” Calum’s shoulders drop in defeat. Ashton helps him up and once they’re all in and buckled up, they hit the road. The drive is long. First Ashton drives, so Luke uses that time to try to nap which becomes impossible with Calum’s loud singing. He practically screams the lyrics to some random Green Day song that comes up on the radio and Luke knows it’s on purpose. Cal’s so bitter.

Later on, they switch and Luke drives for a while, while Calum takes the seat next to him and Ashton announces he’s going to sleep in the back so they better not make noise. They don’t dare to. They have a hushed conversation about what they should do first when they get to the beach house and what kind of food they’re going to get for their first dinner there.

After an hour and a half Luke gets tired so Calum takes his place. This time Luke actually does get to sleep because Calum just drives without screaming any song lyrics in his ear, probably because he’s scared Ashton’s going to strangle him so the car is peacefully silent for the rest of their ride there.

******

“This place is fucking huge!” Calum dumbly gawks when they’re finally out of the car. It started feeling like a cage at some point and Luke couldn’t wait to get out of there and stretch his ‘abnormally long limbs’, as Calum likes to call his arms and feet. It’s not his fault that he’s tall.

“I know, when my uncle mentioned it I didn’t imagine it being _this_ big,” Ashton says, joining Luke and Calum as they simply stand there and stare.

The beach house is placed on top of a huge hill which gives them a view of the ocean and their surrounding, which includes some other houses that are pretty far away and a huge shopping center. The house has two floors, the top one has three bedrooms and two bathrooms and the ground one has a huge living room, another bathroom, two extra bedrooms, a huge porch and a huge kitchen. Everything is huge.

They quickly unload their luggage and go inside to explore the place. Naturally, Calum and Luke fight over one of the bedrooms, claiming it’s the biggest one. Finally, Ashton has enough and he tells them to pick a number between one to ten, whoever guesses the closest number to the one he chose wins the room.

Calum does and Luke pouts through the whole unpacking process, muttering a “this is so unfair” every once in a while as Calum keeps telling him that karma’s a bitch. When they’re all done, they gather up in the living room, it’s already seven in the evening.

“So, I think I should head down to the center, get us some groceries while you guys take a shower and freshen up a little, and when I’m back we can head out to this bar my uncle suggested. He said we should probably check it out,” Ashton, who is as always ‘the leader’ offers and they all agree to the plan and follow it.

At ten, they’re out the door already. They decide to take the car, which turns out to be a mistake since the bar is only about ten minutes away and they realize they might be too drunk to drive it back home later, but they’re on the vacation of their dreams, they’re in paradise, and right now they don’t care.

The bar, _Wonderland_ , is crowded and it’s extremely hot, it feels like everyone is sweaty and purposely trying to push themselves onto every other living thing they can find, the place is a fucking sauna. _But_ , it offers drinks and loud, deafening music and Luke can’t say no to either of them so they push their way through the crowd, trying to get to the bar.

Luke stops when he sees him, he just stands there and creepily stares. He’s tall, but not taller than Luke (who is, though? It always feels like he’s a giant walking around ants), his skin is so white and smooth Luke wants to walk over and touch it, his hair is dyed a bright shade of red which is prominent in contrast to his skin and his smile could probably kill.

“Uh, Luke? You okay there, buddy?” Calum waves a hand in front of his face, snapping Luke out of his daze.

“What?” he’s confused for a second, but immediately forces himself to tear his eyes from that bartender and focus on his friends, he knows they’re going to bug him if they found out. “Yeah, fine. Sorry.” He scratches the back of his neck awkwardly.

Luke was always an awful liar, but lying to Calum and Ashton is an impossible mission. They’ve been friends for years, they’re practically brothers now. He’s never felt as comfortable with anyone, not even his own family, as he is with them. They were the first people Luke told when he realized he wasn’t only attracted to girls, but also boys. He was confused and scared of people’s judgment and they made sure he knew they would always be there and whether he’s going to have a girlfriend or a boyfriend really didn’t matter to them. He loves his best friends.

Ashton analyzes Luke’s expression for a second before scanning the room until his eyes light up, Luke knows he’s doomed.

“You like him!” Ashton yells and Luke wants the earth to open up and swallow him whole. Sure, the music is loud, but Ashton doesn’t always have to scream everything. Calum seems confused so he eyes Ashton who jerks his chin in the direction of the bar, or rather, the bartender, and Calum smirks.

“We are going to talk to him!” Calum announces with determination, giving Ashton a look Luke doesn’t like at all. Each of them grabs one of Luke’s arms and pulls him with them, striding to the bar.

“No! Stop, guys come on.” Luke whines, planting his feet in the ground, trying to make them stop.

“Don’t do that, you know I’m going to embarrass myself!” He tries to shake them off, unsuccessfully. They’re too strong for him.

“We’re going to help you, stop fighting!” Calum insists and Luke thinks he might pass out. He doesn’t want to be embarrassed in front of a really cute guy he doesn’t even know.

They finally reach the bar and they force him onto one of the stools right in front of the bartender who is currently busy talking to the other bartender behind the counter. Ashton and Calum sit on every side of Luke, making sure he doesn’t make a run for it. He has no way out. Calum waves the bartender, signaling to come over and he walks does, a huge smile plastered on his face.

“Hey, guys! What can I offer you?”

 _Oh god_.


	2. hurricane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this isn't too boring but I'm just building up the plot and the whole relationship between the characters right now so I hope you'll like it, have fun reading!

_What do I do? What the hell do I say now?_

Is all that floats in Luke’s brain right now, it feels like he always forgets how to speak just when he needs it the most.

_Damn you, Luke. You’re such a fucking moron._

He looks over to Ashton for help, Ashton always has something to say. He can practically feel both Calum and the cute bartender eyeing Luke and Ashton as they have a silent conversation with their nothing but their eyes, and his face reddens immediately.

 _Moron_.

“Can we get three beers, please?” Ashton smiles sweetly, finally breaking the silence and Luke makes a mental note to himself to thank him later, even though he’s the one who got him into this embarrassing situation in the first place…He could forgive him. Maybe.

“Sure,” The bartender says, still smiling. Good sign, right? He bends down to get their beers from the fridge under the counter and Calum shoots Luke a look that screams ‘say something’ but Luke feels like he swallowed his tongue, he can’t do this.

“Are you guys new here?” the bartender asks, opening their beer bottles one by one, occasionally looking up and grinning cutely at them. Luke yelps in surprise and a little bit of pain when Calum kicks him under the counter (Calum’s strong, don’t judge!).

“Uh, we’re here for the summer, we’re staying up the hill at Ashton's uncle's beach house,” Luke barely chokes out, rubbing the sore spot where Calum kicked him, needing something to do with his hands. He’s so nervous.

“You’re going to love it here!” the bartender exclaims excitedly, not seeming to notice Luke’s awkwardness, or maybe purposely ignoring it out of pity so Luke won’t feel any worse than he already does. The bartender smiles once more, sliding their beers across the counter and Luke hurries to take a huge sip, the cold liquid feels nice in contrast to his body that feels like it’s on fire.

“Someone’s thirsty,” The red headed guy winks, giggling. That is the cutest giggle Luke’s ever heard, he’s sure of it. Impossibly enough, he blushes even more, joining in and giggling too. When he looks up he meets his eyes, they’re so beautiful.

“I’m Michael, by the way,” He breaks his eye contact with Luke, looking between Calum and Ashton, grinning. “I’m Calum, these are Ashton and Luke,” Calum says quickly, pointing at each of them when he says their names.

“Do you have any special plans while you’re here?” Michael asks, resting his elbows on the counter and his chin in his hands, looking between the three of them with an interested look. Luke can feel Ashton and Calum looking at him again, wanting him to be the one who does all the talking.

“No, not really. Do you have any suggestions?” Wow, a full sentence, no stuttering  _and_  he was even being just a little bit flirty. _Where is my medal?_ He thinks, mentally smiling to himself, sometimes he thinks he’s really funny (he isn't).

“Well, I can show you around a little, if you want?” Michael offers as he leans in a bit closer now, his smile never leaving his lips, not even for a split second.

“I- _we_ , would love that,” Luke is so fucking embarrassing, he can already hear Ashton and Calum’s jokes when they’re alone later. But Michael just smirks, not saying anything, but not tearing his eyes off Luke’s. They just sit there and look into each other’s eyes. It sounds creepy, weird and completely awkward but with the music blasting and Michael’s reassuring eyes on his it doesn’t feel as weird or awkward as he imagines, it’s actually quite nice.

“Uh, I’m going to the bathroom, excuse me,” Ashton calls out way too excitedly, making them break off the little, unofficial staring contest they were having as Ashton gets up, pulling Calum up by the arm.

"Cal, come with me, I'm not sure I can find the bathroom by myself," Ashton gives him a stern look no one could miss, before shooting Luke and Michael a smile, dragging Calum with him to the bathroom and leaving the two of them alone.

Oh how Luke hates his friends sometimes.

“Sorry about that, they're being weird,” Luke looks down at his green beer bottle, scratching the back of his neck.

“I finish working in a couple of minutes, are you up for some adventure, Luke?” Michael asks, daringly, completely ignoring Ashton and Calum’s stupidity. Luke is so grateful for that. Plus, Luke's name sounds so nice on Michael's lips he completely forgets about his friends.

He looks up and meets Michael's eyes once more, confused.

“Adventure?” he lifts an eyebrow, not sure what Michael means.

“Can't you trust me?” a playful smirk is playing on Michael’s lips now and Luke chuckles. He has to say yes, he didn’t come here so he can be his awkward self the entire summer, he came here to have fun, right?

“I guess I can try.” Luke smirks and the red headed boy laughs at that, his eyes squinting as he does.  _That is so cute_.

“Good, so give me two minutes and we’ll go,” Michael says, winking at Luke before disappearing somewhere in the back, leaving Luke alone with his thoughts.

 _This is going to be so embarrassing, but I’m doing it._ _I’m not going to be awkward._

_Luke, you can't be awkward this time, you can't mess this up._

******

“This is not what I thought we were going to do,” Luke admits as they stop walking, reaching their destination which is a very distant and abandoned piece of beach, hidden behind a couple of really big rocks.

“Loosen up a little!” Michael says, pinching Luke’s arm before kicking his shoes off and running around in the sand. Luke knows Michael’s right, so he kicks off his own shoes as well, chasing after Michael.

“I’ll make you a deal,” Michael starts, his breathing already unsteady from the short run. “If you can catch me, I’ll give you whatever you want,” He says and turns around to face Luke, running backwards now.

“If you don’t, you’ll give me whatever  _I_  want. How does that sound to you?” he lets out a small laugh and Luke rolls his eyes but still grins.

“Fine!” he yells back. The second Luke says ‘fine’ Michael turns back around and starts running like crazy, like the devil himself is chasing him and Luke knows there’s a huge chance he’s going to lose this, but he honestly doesn’t care because they’re both laughing and giggling and he’s having fun and Michael looks  _really_  adorable and hilarious when running. His red hair flying all over the place and sometimes he stumbles over thin air and lets out a really contagious laugh that Luke decides he loves.

After about ten minutes of running, something hits Luke in the face and he almost falls over, completely startled. He pries it off his face and realizes it’s Michael’s shirt. He throws it to the ground and looks up at Michael, only to find him not too far ahead, laughing his ass off.

“I’m taking this to the next level!” Michael starts and Luke nearly falls face first into the sand. The next level?

“In the water we go!” Michael sings, stumbling over his own feet as he struggles with his black skinny jeans, trying to push them down his legs. He’s taking his clothes off….Luke is sure this is going to be too much for him to take and he's going to pass out real soon, or maybe wake up from this beautiful dream.

Does Michael realize how much Luke likes him? Does that not freak him out? So many questions are bothering Luke’s mind but when Michael finally manages to take his pants off and runs into the water, Luke decides to just stop thinking for a while. So he takes his own shirt and pants off before running after the very giggly red headed into the water, completely trusting him, without knowing why.

“You’ll never catch me!” Michael yells at the top of his lungs, trying to run as fast as he can with all the water that is now surrounding them both, reaching to their mid-thigh.

“Never say never, Michael!” Luke shouts back as he tries to outrun him, but the older boy stops where he is, making Luke to stop as well. He simply starts laughing, holding his stomach as he does.

“What?” Luke stops as well, confused. “You did  _not_  just say never say never. Oh god.” He chokes out still uncontrollably laughing and Luke rolls his eyes.

“Stop making fun of me!” He pouts, and to his surprise, Michael does stop, looking up at him.

“Aw, don’t get all whiny now,” He winks and almost starts walking over to Luke but then he stops and turns around, running the other way again. Luke almost forgot about their little game.

“Ugh, I give up! I’m too tired,” Luke calls out, sitting down right where he is in the middle of the ocean. When he sits the water only covers a part of his stomach and he’s getting a little cold now when the wind is blowing.

“I won!” Michael shouts victoriously, splashing water all over like a hurricane as he makes his way to Luke, dropping to his knees beside him.

“I knew I was going to win,” He sticks his tongue out in Luke’s direction and the younger boy just shakes his head disapprovingly, a grin playing on his lips, he can’t help it.

“So, what do you want?” Luke asks, tugging on his lip ring subconsciously.

“Hmm…” Michael hums, tapping his chin with his finger like he’s thinking real hard on this one. “I don’t even know what I should ask for, actually,” He meets Luke’s eyes. They stay quiet for a couple of minutes, staring at the waves and occasionally looking over to each other with a smile.

“Okay, so how about this,” Michael breaks the silence. “I want one full day, just you and me,” He continues and Luke’s heart starts beating faster, he wants a whole day just for them? Just the super embarrassing and boring Luke and the wonderful, adventurous Michael?

“We can just hang out. I can show you around a little, it’ll be fun,” Michael grins, completely satisfied with the little plan he just came up with.

“Only if you want to, though,” He adds quickly, frowning at himself like he's scolding himself for not saying that earlier.

“I do!” Luke blurts out way too eagerly and Michael looks up at him again, an amused expression on his face. “It sounds like a lot of fun,”

Luke shrugs with a small grin, he loves how Michael doesn’t really comment on how awkward and stupid Luke can be sometimes. They stay quiet for a couple more minutes before Michael clears his throat, getting up.

“It’s getting chilly, let’s head back.” He offers his hand to Luke, and he takes it, getting up. Michael’s hand is small compared to his, and warm against his cold skin.

“God, you’re fucking freezing!” Michael exclaims with a worried look. “Why didn't you say anything?” He mumbles more to himself than to Luke, slinging one arm across Luke’s shoulders, rubbing Luke's arms with his warm palms to get him warm. And again, Luke’s heart starts beating extremely fast. Why is he reacting like that? He just met this guy for fuck’s sake!

They finally reach their abandoned clothes that are scattered around all over the small piece of beach, dressing up and walking back in the direction they came from.

“It’s already one thirty in the morning,” Michael suddenly says after checking his watch and Luke’s eyes widen.

“What? How did it get this late?” he didn’t even notice the time, he was enjoying himself so much with Michael. “I don’t know,” Michael laughs with a shrug, and Luke laughs along because how can he not?

“I don’t know if I can even find Calum and Ashton now, they’re probably completely wasted,” Luke says as they leave the sandy ground and finally reach the pavement.

“I don’t know them yet, but they seem like that type,” Michael chuckles and Luke nods. “They are,” He shakes his head before realizing he’s not sure he can find his way home all alone and Ashton has the car keys, so he'll have to walk.

“I just realized Ashton has the car keys and I’m not sure I can find my way back,” Luke admits, scratching the back of his head, he’s so stupid, how didn’t he think about that earlier?

“I can help, you said your house was uphill. I can take you there and help you find it. There aren't that many hills around,” Michael offers and Luke feels so relieved and grateful that he won’t have to play this guessing game by himself, he knows he’d get lost if he did, but he feels bad about keeping Michael.

“Are you sure, don’t you have to go back to work or home now?” Luke looks down and meets Michael’s eyes.

“No, don’t be silly. I’m not going to let you wander around all by yourself, you’ll probably get lost.” Michael nudges Luke’s shoulder with his own and Luke chuckles.

“How are you so sure?” Luke pushes him back and Michael laughs.

“I’m always right, Luke,” He says with a forced serious expression, pushing Luke once more and they both laugh. The rest of the walk back to the house is calmer because they’re both tired and in a desperate need of a shower after their little swim. They talk about nothing in particular, Michael telling stupid jokes and Luke laughing as if they are the best jokes he’s ever heard in his life.

“Hey, I see our house!” Luke points at the house at the top of the hill excitedly, totally proud of himself for being able to actually recognize their house.

“See, I told you I could get you here,” Michael says smugly and Luke pushes his shoulder with a smile, rolling his eyes playfully for the millionth time that night.

“So, I’ll come pick you up tomorrow morning?” Michael asks and Luke is confused for a second, completely forgetting about Michael’s win in their competition earlier.

“I told you I was going to show you around!” Michael rolls his eyes and Luke slaps his own forehead.

“Right, sorry! I’m a bit tired,” He bites down on his lip ring and shoots Michael an apologetic look.

“It’s alright. So, I’ll call and wake you up tomorrow,” Michael grins, they exchanged phone numbers on their walk to the house.

“Goodnight, Luke,” Michael starts walking back, his face still turned to Luke.

“Thanks for tonight, Michael!” Luke yells while waving at him. “My pleasure!” he shouts back before winking at Luke, shooting him one last smile before turning around, jogging down the hill and making his way back to the bar or maybe his house, Luke doesn’t even know.

He walks all the way up the bigger hill where their house is, smiling to himself. He had so much fun with Michael and he’s nervous about his day with him tomorrow, but also excited. Plus, he’s still confused about Michael, he couldn't figure him out tonight.

Does Michael like him? Does he  _like him-like him_? Does Michael even like guys? So many questions bother Luke as he takes a quick shower, but he decides to push them back to another day because right now all he wants is to go to sleep.

Right when Luke steps out of the shower and is about to go to bed, his phone buzzes on the nightstand.

**From: Michael Clifford :-)**

[2:17AM] I’ll pick you up at twelve thirty tomorrow, be ready!!!!

Luke smiles down at his phone, thinking about a response.

**To: Michael Clifford :-)**

[2:20AM] I will, don’t yell at me! :-(

**From: Michael Clifford :-)**

[2:22AM] Aw, I’m sorry, Lukey, don’t be sad! Think about how much fun we’re going to have tomorrow! ;)

Luke’s heart drops, he called him _Lukey_.

**To: Michael Clifford :-)**

[2:23AM] Can't wait!

**From: Michael Clifford**

[2:24AM] Goodnight, Luke

**To: Michael Clifford :-)**

[2:25AM] Goodnight, Mikey! :-)


	3. rolling in the deep?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So from now on I'm making the chapters a lot longer, I'm trying to get past the whole introduction part so this is way longer and I'm very excited about this, Luke and Michael's little adventure...have fun reading!

“Do you think he’s awake?”

“Does he look awake to you, Calum? _Jeez_!”

“I don’t know, he could be just avoiding us,”

Luke groans, his friends can be so fucking annoying. But somehow he’ll always love them, must be some sort of black magic…

“ _Now_ I’m awake,” Luke’s voice is extremely raspy in the morning. He rubs his eyes and when he finally pries them open he sees both of his friends’ heads floating above him, staring down at him.

“What?”

“Where did you go last night?” Ashton asks, furrowing his eyebrows. Luke completely forgot that he didn’t even get the chance to tell them what happened with Michael last night, and then he remembers today is his day with Michael.

“Shit! What time is it?” he looks around frantically, searching for his phone. Ashton and Calum exchange a worried look.

“It’s ten thirty in the morning, what’s up with you?” Calum asks, sitting down on the bed in front of Luke, Ashton joining a split second after. Luke takes a deep breath and tells them everything that happened with Michael the night before.

“Our baby is so grown up!” Calum sniffs, resting his head on Ashton’s shoulder as they both choke out a couple of fake sobs. Luke just rolls his eyes at that.

“We taught him so well,” Ashton adds and Calum nods.

“I hate you both,” Luke says before sighing deeply, getting out of bed. He should probably start getting ready.

“Where are you going now? He said he’d pick you up at twelve thirty!” Calum calls after him but Luke doesn’t even stop, he knows the both of them will follow anyway. He starts brushing his teeth, and as expected the two idiots he likes to call his best friends pop their heads through the door.

“You nervous?” Ashton asks, immediately getting elbowed by Calum.

“Don’t plant those thoughts in him!” he scolds. Luke spits and gives them both a stern look through the mirror. He isn’t a morning person, to say the least.

“I’m not nervous, it’s morning and you’re being assholes. Fuck off,” He grumbles and sticks his tooth brush back in, not feeling like talking anymore.

“Someone’s grumpy…” Calum says and Ashton slaps the back of his head.

“Let’s just give him a minute.” He says, pulling a very unpleased Calum by the shirt after him. Luke finishes getting ready after about twenty minutes, it takes him fifteen minutes just to pick out something to wear. He needs to look nice, but not too nice and that’s a very hard task to follow, but he thinks he got it so he just leaves his room in a horrific mess of scattered clothes and goes downstairs to rejoin his friends.

“We made you some coffee,” Calum announces the second he spots Luke. “And an omelet,” Ashton adds, pointing at Luke with his spatula and Luke can’t help but laugh.

“Sorry for getting mad earlier,” He smiles softly, plopping down on the stool next to Calum. He knows his friends aren’t actually hurt by his behavior, they hardly ever argue, but he still feels bad for getting mad over nothing.

“We’ve known you long enough to know not to take you seriously in the morning,” Ashton sits down across the table from both of them, placing the plate in front of Luke who grins back at him gratefully, his stomach is growling and Ashton’s omelet smells really, really good.

“Or any other time…” Calum sings and Luke rolls his eyes at him before digging into his food.

“So, do you know what you and Michael are going to do today?” Calum asks what Luke knows they have both been dying to ask since they found out he’s going to spend his day with Michael.

“No, we haven’t talked about anything specific, he just said he wants to show me around,” Luke shrugs, stuffing a forkful of omelet into his mouth. Luke’s phone buzzes just when Ashton’s about to open his mouth and say something.

“Is it him, is it him?” Calum sticks his head into the space between Luke and his phone and Luke wants nothing more than to push him away, but he doesn’t because he knows it’s probably Michael and it makes his stomach turn, in a good way.

**From: Michael Clifford :-)**

[11:14AM] Are you up?

**To: Michael Clifford :-)**

[11:15AM] Yup, Cal and Ash were curious about last night…

**From: Michael Clifford :-)**

[11:17AM] Did I get you in trouble?

**To: Michael Clifford :-)**

[11:20AM] Just a little bit, but I forgive you

**From: Michael Clifford :-)**

[11:21AM] Oh, yeah? How so?

**To: Michael Clifford :-)**

[11:24AM] I’m feeling nice today ;-)

**From: Michael Clifford :-)**

[11:25AM] Oh my, that is so generous of you Mr. Hemmings

**To: Michael Clifford :-)**

[11:27AM] Shut up, is this going somewhere or…?

**From: Michael Clifford :-)**

[11:30AM] Grumpy, much? Jeez……

**To: Michael Clifford :-)**

[11:32AM] Michael!!!!

**From: Michael Clifford :-)**

[11:35AM] Okay, okay! Just wanted to see if it was okay if I came earlier, I wanted to start our day a bit sooner than planned

**From: Michael Clifford :-)**

[11:35AM Only if that’s okay though, no pressure!

**To: Michael Clifford :-)**

[11:37AM] It’s more than okay! I’m ready and waiting

**From: Michael Clifford :-)**

[11:40AM] Great, I’ll be there in ten!

**To: Michael Clifford :-)**

[11:41AM] No problem :-)

 

“Awwwwwwww!” Ashton screeches in Luke’s ear, making him wince. Ashton and Calum are both looking over his shoulder and into his phone, following the conversation between him and Michael.

“You’re being so flirty, I feel so proud!” Calum gets all ‘emotional’ again, wiping under his eyes for nonexistent tears, making Ashton laugh.

“You guys are worse than my parents,” Luke decides, getting up and walking over to his room to get some shoes, his friends not too far behind. Calum gasps in shock.

“Aren’t we allowed to be proud of our little baby?” Ashton asks, adding a fake hurt tinge to his voice.

“Yeah, you’re so ungrateful, Luke.” Calum shakes his head disapprovingly and Luke just sighs.

“I love you guys,” he starts, bending down to pick up his blue flip flops. “But please, please shut up,” He grins at them innocently, batting his lashes in such a graceful matter they can’t resist him.

“I think he’s here!” Ashton exclaims, looking out the window.

“I thought he was going to drive you?” Calum joins Ashton by the window.

“Everything is so close, why would he need to drive me?”  Ashton and Calum start frantically waving and Luke wants the earth to open up and swallow him right then and there.

“You guys!” He yells, startling both of them. They give him apologetic looks, following him out the room as the doorbell rings.

“Hi!” Michael grins widely, stepping forward and giving Luke a hug. He holds him for a few seconds and Luke is sure this is it, he’s going to die right there in Michael’s arms, not such a bad way to die… Michael’s embrace is so warm and cozy and he smells really nice, like the beach and a little bit of alcohol, which isn’t surprising but it’s still very nice.

“Your friends are really funny,” Michael says when he finally lets Luke go, looking over his shoulder at what must be Calum and Ashton.

“I’m sorry about them.” He whispers so only Michael can hear before turning around to face his friends.

“Hey Michael!” Ashton waves again and walks over to them, pulling Michael into a hug. Luke is sure Michael would be uncomfortable or embarrassed because he’s only ever spoken to these guys for two minutes at Wonderland, but he wraps his arms around Ashton, squeezing him back with a pleased grin.

“I want a hug too, that’s not fair!” Calum whines, pushing Ashton away.

“My turn,” He growls, hugging Michael as well. Ashton simply pouts, but lets him ‘have his turn’ with Michael. Luke can’t blame them though, he loved Michael’s hug, he wants to hug him all the time.

“I promise we’ll have plenty of time to hang out, all of us,” Michael says, giving all three of them an award winning smile, Luke is so whipped and it hasn’t even been twenty four hours yet, he’s such a fucking mess. “But today it’s just me and Luke, is that alright?”

_Today it’s just me and Luke._

_It’s just me and Luke._

_Just me and Luke._

_Me and Luke._

_Me_

_And_

_Luke_

Luke feels his face heat up. He’s so pleased about his whole situation, nothing’s ever worked out so well with a person he liked. But he’s probably just imagining things, why is he so quick to jump to conclusions? For all he knows, Michael just likes him as a friend and this is just a normal hangout, he probably doesn’t take that as seriously as Luke does and Luke’s going to end up hurt.

“Fine, but you’re missing out you know,” Calum says, moving over to stand next to Ashton, crossing his arms over his chest. “We’re the fun ones.” He jerks his chin up to Ashton’s direction and Michael laughs.

“Go have fun, take care of our little Lukey, will you?” Ashton shoves Luke forward and into Michael, Michael catching him with a smile, balancing him on his feet.

“I promise!” Michael chuckles, waving goodbye to the smiley Ashton and the pouty Calum.

“Sorry about that,” Luke says when the door closes behind them and they start walking.

“Sorry? They seem so great! I wish I had friends like them,” Michael doesn’t look at Luke, he looks down at his feet instead, his hands deep in his swimsuit’s pockets.

“They’re great and I love them, but they live to embarrass me,” Luke smiles to himself, a couple of old memories of him and his friends flash through his mind.

Like the first time Luke realized he liked a guy and he was so confused, so he called Ashton and Calum and they came over. He told them he thinks he likes a _guy_ , thinking they would laugh and try to convince him he’s probably just confused. Instead, they tried to come up with a plan for Luke to get closer to that guy. He truly loves his friends.

“I would love to have friends who embarrass me out of love,” Now the red headed boy does look at Luke, both his smile and eyes seem sad.

“But you do, they’re your friends now too. Trust me, you won’t be able to get rid of them even if you wanted to,” He chuckles and Michael’s sad smile turns into a full grin.

“So, what can you tell me about yourself, Mr. Hemmings?” Michael lifts an eyebrow cockily, smiling widely while Luke’s face heats up again.

“I don’t know, what do you want to know?” He looks into Michael’s green orbs, refusing to let his shyness take over.

“Hmm, let’s start with the easy stuff,” Michael says, kicking a stone out of his path. “What’s your favorite color?” Michael asks and Luke snorts, amused.

“That’s the best you could come up with?” Michael only shrugs, laughing along with Luke. “Well, it’s blue. I guess.” Luke shrugs.

“It’s your turn to ask a question.” Michael nudges his shoulder.

“What’s _your_ favorite color, then?” Luke asks which is completely cheesy and stupid, but his mind is so fuzzy he can’t even come up with a new question. “Is it red?” He asks, reaching out and touching a strand of Michael’s red hair.

“Surprisingly enough, it isn’t,” Michael giggles, smoothing his wild hair down. “I change my hair color a lot.” He shrugs. “My favorite color is black, I guess? I’m not even sure.” He laughs and Luke can swear Michael’s even blushing a little, but he’s not sure.

“Wait! I have a better question,” Luke calls out, not even letting giving Michael a chance to ask his question even though it’s his turn.

“Well, it’s against the rules, but I’ll let you off this one because you’re _cute_ ,” He winks and Luke’s heart stops beating for what feels like a whole minute. He decides not to comment on that last statement since he fears he won’t be strong enough and simply collapse right then and there on the hot sand.

“Why do you change your hair color a lot?” Luke asks and Michael seems like he’d been caught off guard. Did Luke make him uncomfortable? He really didn’t mean to.

“I’m sorry, you don’t have to answer that. I’m stupid,” Luke mentally rolls his eyes at himself even though he’s quite confused as to why Michael seems so uncomfortable about this question.

“No, no, _I’m_ sorry,” Michael says, sticking his hands deep in his pockets. “This shit is kind of deep. Are you ready to go there, or is it too soon?” He adds, smiling up at Luke.

Luke was always a great listener, all of his friends always said that. He used to sit there for hours and just listen to his friends talk about their problems and Luke would try to help, give them his best advice, so this is an easy task for him. Plus, he wants to get to know Michael, more than anything.

“I’m the best listener in the whole world. Go for it,” Luke smiles down, feeling very pleased with himself when the older boy nods and opens his mouth to start talking.

“Well, just remember that I’m not usually like this…this deep.” Michael shakes his head at himself before going on.

“I always feel like I should constantly change things about myself to make me more likeable and maybe more interesting?” Michael says, sounding unsure but Luke doesn’t interrupt, that is the worst thing you can do.

“I don’t know, it’s stupid but I feel like if I make myself interesting people will stick around. Y’know?” he looks up at Luke, searching for something in his eyes.

“Well, I think you’re quite interesting just the way you are.” Luke says honestly, giving Michael the biggest and most honest grin he can muster, he wants Michael to know he means it. The rest of the walk isn’t as serious, they just ask each other stupid questions to get to know each other and share embarrassing childhood stories until they reach their first destination, as Michael announced, there will be more than one today.

“So, this is one of my favorite places around,” Michaels says as they reach a small building. The building is blue like the ocean and is decorated with a bunch of sea animals of all kinds and shapes and a huge neon sign that says ‘The Aquarium’.

“This place doesn’t look big enough to be an aquarium,” Luke admits, a bit confused as they walk into the small building. It only has two stories and it seems to be a simple office building.

“Just wait.” Michael says, opening the door for Luke.

“Mikey!” The girl who sits behind the receptionist desk squeaks, immediately darting out of her seat and into Michael’s arms. They hug for a really long time and Luke shifts his weight from leg to leg, feeling a bit uncomfortable just standing there while they hug.

“This is Luke, Luke this is Nina, she works here,” Luke smiles down at her and politely, and very awkwardly, shakes her hand. She’s quite short with long, blond hair and brown eyes. Luke has to admit she’s beautiful.

“Luke, can you get the elevator for us?” Michael asks and Luke frowns, but nods and walks over to the elevator, grumpily pressing the button. He’s so stupid, is he jealous? He can’t be jealous. He watches Michael and Nina as Michael leans down and whispers something in her ear, she giggles but nods and they both turn to look at Luke who gives them a confused look, but immediately looks away.

“See you soon!” Michael calls out and Nina waves, shooting Luke a small smile as well.

“Hi there,” Michael beams and Luke gives him a small nod as they wait for the elevator in silence. The elevator finally gets there and it dings as the doors open. Michael presses floor minus one and Luke shoots him yet another confused look.

“Aren’t we going up?” he lifts an eyebrow and Michael rolls his eyes, laughing.

“Connect the dots, Lukey,” The elevator dings again and Michael practically runs out. They stop before two huge doors connected by a lock, so Michael reaches into his pocket and grabs a set of keys, unlocking the doors.

They enter a huge circular room shaped like a tunnel and Luke understands now, it’s an underwater aquarium. The lights are dim and he looks up and his mouth falls open. The ocean is spread right there about their heads, groups of fish in different colors swimming above them.

“This is amazing.” Luke decides, his voice echoing in the empty tunnel, it’s just him and Michael.

“I knew you’d like it here,” Michael nudges his shoulder, not looking at him. They’re both too busy looking up at all the different sea animals. They walk around for twenty minutes, spotting different kinds of fish, jellyfish and sharks until Luke realizes something.

“How come we’re alone?” He questions at the very fascinated looking red head.

“I’ve been coming here since I was about ten, so everyone knows me and lets me in and out whenever I want,” Michael explains, sitting down right where he is, patting the floor near him, signaling Luke to join him. So he does. He’ll probably never say no to Michael.

Michael gives Luke a huge grin before falling onto his back, his hands supporting the back of his head as he just lies there, watching all the fish swim. Luke just watches him for a couple of minutes, he looks really cute when he’s concentrating like that. But finally, he gives in and imitates Michael’s position and they both just watch the ocean in silence.

******

“So, did you enjoy that?” Michael asks after they’ve handed Nina the keys back and left the building, the sun hitting their eyes after them being used to the dimmer light of the aquarium.

“That was amazing, honestly,” Luke says with all honesty, still utterly shocked, he’s never been to an underwater aquarium and he really did have a great time.

“Are you hungry?” Michael asks, looking down at his watch. “It’s one twenty, we can go grab some lunch,” Michael offers and Luke’s stomach, as if on cue, starts grumbling and howling violently.

“Lunch sounds great right now.” Luke chuckles, patting his loud stomach.

“So, we never finished our game earlier,” Michael says as they start walking and Luke furrows his eyebrows together, not sure what Michael means.

“Our question game!” Michael exclaims as if Luke should have known this one. He chuckles, shrugging.

“Ask whatever you want.” Luke says and Michael nods, an evil smile on his face.

“First kiss?” Michael asks, lifting a very curious eyebrow at Luke, whose face is getting redder and redder by the second. He looks down, his hands deep in his pockets.

“Veronica Mason, it was gross. I was thirteen and had no idea what I was doing, it was traumatizing,” Luke visibly shudders at the memory, it was horrific. “Yours?” he jerks his chin in Michael’s direction who is currently busy laughing at Luke.

“Emma Morrison, she was very aggressive and I was a shy and confused fourteen year old boy,” Michael chuckles, shaking his head. “Ten minutes later, I kissed James Roberts, now _he_ was a kisser…” Michael looks up, examining Luke’s reaction.

“I like girls, but I think I like guys better,” Luke feels like a huge weight was taken off his shoulders because he spent every second since meeting Michael wondering if he even had the slightest chance, if he was even into guys, and now he knows.

“I’ve only had one boyfriend and one girlfriend, didn’t end well,” Luke bites down at his lip ring, twisting it around a little, waiting for Michael’s reaction this time.

“Interesting,” Michael mutters and Luke laughs.

“Interesting?” he asks, looking down at the read head.

“I thought that someone like you had more experience.” Michael admits honestly and Luke’s face heats up again, he’s such a fucking dork. He’s probably the only eighteen year old who’s had both a boyfriend _and_ a girlfriend but had never had sex before, go Luke.

 _Idiot_.

“I didn’t really feel ready and-“ Luke starts explaining himself, he’s not even sure why, but Michael cuts him off.

“I wasn’t judging! I’m all for waiting for when you’re actually ready, don’t pressure yourself into a situation you don’t feel comfortable in. _Trust me_ ,” There’s something really pained in that last statement, but he feels like Michael wouldn’t really care to explain that right now.

“You’re cute when you blush, which is like, all the time,” Michael chuckles, reaching up and touching Luke’s burning hot cheek for a second before they stop walking and Luke realizes they’ve reached the restaurant.

******

They keep their question game while eating, but the questions don’t get as personal or embarrassing. They just make fun of each other’s old memories or guilty pleasures, comparing music tastes and hobbies. They were both very surprised to discover that they were both guitar players, and Michael made Luke promise he was going to play and sing for him sometime.

“Ready for some more fun?” Michael fishes some money out of his pocket, dropping it on the table.

“No, you can’t pay for me,” Luke never let anyone pay for him, unless they’re Calum and Ashton, then it’s perfectly fine and even better if they pay for him.

“Don’t be fucking ridiculous,” Michael rolls his eyes. “Let’s go, we have three more places to visit today!” Michael grabs Luke by the shirt, dragging him after him.

******

They go back to the beach Michael took him to the night before, and it looks nice and peaceful even at daylight, a little piece of nowhere. Luke wonders if Michael brings people here a lot. Michael decides that they need to just relax for a while, so they rid themselves of everything except their swimsuits and lie down on the sand, just quietly talking or laughing.

After about an hour, they get tired and bored of just lying there, so they race to the water and swim for a while until the sun starts going down and Michael announces that it’s time to go home and shower.

“I’ll pick you up in an hour, be ready!” Michael practically shouts as he takes Luke home and then leaves for his, saying they both need a shower and a change into some better clothes.

The second he opens the door, he gets jumps at.

“How was it?”

“It’s still early, why are you back?”

“Was he just outside, why didn’t you invite him in?” They’re both talking so fast, bombarding him with questions he doesn’t even get the time to process them, let alone answer them.

“God, calm down!” Luke shouts, waving his arms around, trying to get his friends’ attention and make them stop. He takes a deep breath, rolling his eyes.

“We were at the beach so we needed a shower, we’re going out again in an hour,” Luke explains, walking to the bathroom with his friends close behind.

“What did you do all day?” Ashton asks as Luke strips out of his wet clothes, not even minding Calum and Ashton who take their seats on the toilet and counter, just watching Luke as he showers, they’ve done this countless times.

“He took me to an underwater aquarium, we were there alone,” Luke starts, the warm water feeling nice against his skin as he washes the sand and salt off. “And then we went for lunch, and then we went back to that beach from last night. It was nice,” Luke shuts off the water, looking around for shampoo.

“That is so cute!!!” Calum squeals, making both Ashton and Luke wince in pain.

“God, you’re annoying,” Ashton complains, hitting him on the back of the head. Calum hisses back but Luke cuts them off before they start fighting.

“He likes guys, I’m not hopeless!” Luke announces, starting the water again.

“How do you know?” Ashton leans forward, curious.

“We went a little deep, we were talking about our first kisses and he told me he likes kissing boys more,” Luke explains shortly, washing the remains of shampoo and soap out of his hair and body.

“Lukey that’s so great! I think he likes you,” Calum and Ashton exchange an excited look, nodding in agreement. “I hope so.” Luke says, stepping out of the steamy shower. Calum hands him a towel and he thanks him with a nod.

“Now, can you help me pick out an outfit? I’m lost.”

******

“You look great, don’t worry,” Ashton says as the three of them stand in the middle of Luke’s room, the floor almost unseen because of all the scattered clothes. They picked out a pair of black skinny jeans (shockingly), a red and black flannel shirt and a gray beanie Luke stole from Calum years ago, both of them know Calum is never getting it back.

“Are you sure? Don’t I look too…Luke?” he tugs at his lips ring, eyeing his friends through the mirror.

“No, shut up! You look great.” Ashton says and Calum nods, and then the doorbell rings, making Luke’s heart beat ten times faster.

“I’ll get it!” Ashton yells, pushing Calum out of his way. “No, I want to!” Calum argues, running after Ashton as Luke stays behind, taking one deep breath before climbing down the stairs. He finds Michael between Calum and Ashton, squeezed into a huge hug. Michael’s wearing a pair of black skinny jeans as well, a white shirt with black sleeves that says ‘idiot’ on it in red ink and a black snapback.

“Lukey, I’ve missed you!” Michael calls when he spots the very amused Luke, just standing there and watching the scene.

“Can we go now?” he asks, rolling his eyes and his friends who are being extremely clingy and annoying.

“We didn’t forget what you promised this morning,” Calum says as Luke helps Michael pry them off of Michael.

“I won’t, but now Luke and I have to go,” Michael says, grabbing Luke’s wrist and pulling him after. “Bye kids, be safe!” Ashton yells after them, and the door closes, the chilly evening hair hitting Luke in the face.

“Ready to party?” Michael asks, his eyes scanning Luke up and down. “You look great, by the way,” He winks and Luke’s heart starts beating impossibly faster, this boy is going to kill him one day.

“T-thanks.” Luke audibly gulps. “But, did you say party?” he looks down at Michael, concerned.

“Oh yes, party!” Michael shouts and starts running, pulling Luke by the wrist after him.

Luke is so screwed.


	4. secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this chapter is the longest one so far and I actually kind of liked it, Michael and Luke's relationship is going somewhere now, so have fun reading!

***

Luke hates parties. No, scratch that, he doesn’t hate them, he absolutely  _despises_  them, always has.

Sure, he loves drinking and hanging out with his friends but he doesn’t like the whole concept of a party, it makes him extremely uncomfortable and ten times more awkward, it’s bad. Especially now that Michael is dragging him to a party with all these people he’s never met before and he doesn’t have Calum and Ashton as backup. Plus, he’s the most embarrassing drunk person, this night is going to end in a tragic way, he can already sense it.

“Are you even listening?” Luke hears Michael ask and realizes he hasn’t, in fact, been listening.

“Huh?” He blurts without thinking. Michael doesn’t seem to be fazed at all though,. He gives Luke a funny look and a smirk before repeating himself.

“I was asking if it would be okay with you to drop by Wonderland before the party, I promised I’d bring some alcohol.” Luke simply nods at that and they keep walking in silence, Luke with his anxiety level only rising and Michael who seems pretty pleased and excited.

When they finally get to Wonderland, it’s packed with sweaty bodies of mainly teenagers, dancing like they don’t have a care in the world.

“C’mere, I don’t wanna lose you,” Michael says, grabbing Luke by the wrist, shooting him the cutest smile before turning back around, pushing people out of their path. Luke doesn’t even care about all the people or the music that’s playing way too loud. All he cares about is Michael’s palm on his wrist, making his skin tingle and burn.

Honestly, Luke’s never liked someone this much this fast, and he feels like it’s going to backfire, but he doesn’t even care right now because Michael is there and that’s all that matters.

“Hey, Mikey!” Someone calls, making Luke look up. “Bri said you were spending the night with someone, what are you doing here?” One of Michael’s coworkers says from behind the bar and Luke feels his face heat up, he always blushes like an idiot, God. Michael chuckles, pulling Luke from behind him, revealing him to his bartender-friend.

“Nick, this is Luke,” Michael smiles and Nick seems to choke on his own air.

“Oh, hi. Sorry, I didn’t see you there.” He scratches the back of his neck and Michael starts laughing, he always laughs at everything, he’s so positive. Luke wishes he was like that too, but instead he’s standing there awkwardly, blushing his ass off.

“I’m here to pick up some booze, we’re going to a party at Carol’s,” Michael explains, dropping Luke’s arm and walking behind the bar, leaving Luke to awkwardly stand there like the complete moron he is.

“I’ll be right back!” Michael calls over his shoulder and winks at Luke before disappearing into the back room where Luke assumes they keep their stocks of alcohol.

“So,” Nick clears his throat, catching Luke’s attention. “Mikey told me about you,” He continues, gesturing to the seat right in front of him, so Luke takes it.

“Really?” he lights up, what could have Michael told him already? Nick nods, smiling as he grabs a brown bottle, pouring its content into a small glass.

“He called me this morning, told me you guys went to the beach last night,” He explains, sliding the glass over to Luke who just gawks at it for a second, not sure if he should drink it or not.

“Just between us, I think he likes you a lot, he’s never spoken about a friend this much before,” Nick lowers his voice, and that’s when Luke decides he honestly does not care what’s in that glass, he just shoves it into his mouth, downing the liquid. It burns, but Luke’s nerves are bothering him more.

“Can I ask you something, Luke?” Nick asks, dropping the cloth he’s been holding and looking Luke in the eyes.

“Yeah?” he asks, curious and mortified.

“This is totally cliché and stupid, but Michael’s been through a lot and I don’t want him to get hurt, he’s a good guy,” He says, now looking down at his hands.

“You seem like a nice guy, but could you please make sure he doesn’t get hurt? You know, just have his back.” Luke feels a pang in his chest. He wasn’t planning on hurting Michael, why would he hurt someone as sweet and nice as him? Plus, Luke’s never the one to end things, not friendships and not relationships, it’s Luke who is always left hurt.

“I-“ Luke starts, but he spots a bright red-head emerging from the back room, so he shuts up, forcing a smile.

“Luke, are you good to go?” Michael mirrors Luke’s grin, patting Nick’s back as he passes by him.

“Sure.” Luke says, getting up, not daring to Luke at Nick.

“Bye, Nick, I’ll see you later,” Michael calls, grabbing Luke’s wrist again. But this time his hand slides down and he’s holding his hand properly. It’s warm and small compared to Luke’s, but it feels like their hands fit nicely.

“Bye guys, have fun!” Nick shouts over the music. They give him a nod and leave, Michael still holding Luke’s hand.

******

Two and a half hours into the party, Luke is already drunk out of his ass and is dancing around, flashing smiles to whoever will accept them. He’s still holding Michael’s hand, not having letting go of it since Michael first grabbed it at Wonderland. Luke just keeps drowning his nerves in alcohol and it seems to be working because he barely feels them anymore, he’s just relaxed. His body moves back and forth and up and down against Michael’s.

Luke realizes how perfect this is.

That is until Michael lets go of his hand and Luke feels like someone took all the happiness away from him. He whines, looking down at Michael.

“I’m going to the bathroom, I’ll be right back.” He assures, giving Luke a small smile before leaving him alone on the dance floor. Luke watches Michael’s back as he walks away and bites down on his lip. He likes Michael so much and he feels so, so stupid. He’s only known him for a day and he’s already completely and utterly whipped. He wants to be around Michael all the time, he wants to spend this whole vacation with Michael, every second of it.

“You friends with Michael?” Someone asks from behind him, tapping on his shoulder. He turns to face a guy almost as tall as him, which is rare, he’s so used to being the tall one. He’s wearing a simple black t-shirt and a pair of blue skinny jeans, every strand of his black hair is sitting in place and his brown eyes are shining in the dimly lit room.

“Yeah, are you?” Luke smiles, his mind so fuzzy with alcohol and the complete bliss of spending this whole day with Michael that the guy’s question doesn’t strike him as weird or suspicious.

“You can say that…” the guy mumbles, almost too quiet for Luke to hear, but he does. “I’m Derek.” He stretches his hand out for Luke to shake, and he takes it.

“Luke.”

“Why would Michael leave someone like  _you_  all alone here, Luke?” Derek asks, circling Luke in sync with the music. If Luke wasn’t so drunk he’d probably notice that something is completely off with this guy, but he is so buzzed he just goes with it. He likes attention when he’s drunk.

“He went to the bathroom,” Luke shrugs innocently, slowly swaying from side to side so he doesn’t just stand there frozen while Derek is dancing around him.

“If I were him I wouldn’t leave you alone for a second,” Derek says, now standing flush against Luke’s back, whispering in his ear.

“Well, he’ll be right back?” Luke says and it comes out as more of a question. He’s completely oblivious. Derek chuckles.

“You’re adorable, you know that?” He says, touching Luke’s nose with the tip of his finger.

“What are you doing here?” a growl comes from behind them, and Luke recognizes the voice immediately, Michael.

“Oh, Mikey, there you are!” Luke turns to see Derek smiling at the very annoyed looking Michael.

“I was just getting to know your _friend_ here. He’s adorable, as I was just saying.” Derek winks in Luke’s direction, but now Luke can see through the alcohol in his system, he knows something’s wrong. So he simply looks over to Michael, searching for an explanation.

“Luke, we’re leaving.” Michael says, linking his hand with Luke’s again.

“Is that okay?” Michael quietly asks Luke. He’s still drunk and now very, very confused so he’s not sure if Michael is asking him if he’s okay with leaving or holding his hand. But he’s fine with both so he just nods, letting Michael take him away. As they walk out Luke glances back at Derek. He’s smiling at Luke, waving goodbye. Luke doesn’t wave back.

“Are you alright?” Luke asks after a couple of minutes of silently walking in the dark street, Michael a bit ahead of Luke. But they’re still holding hands so Luke isn’t that far away.

“Yeah, sorry about that,” Michael answers and shakes his head a little, slowing his pace down and seeming to remember where he is, like Luke’s question brought him down from his anger.

“So I understand Derek isn’t really your friend,” Luke chuckles humorlessly, looking down at the older boy.

“No, not really.” Michael shakes his head again and Luke feels so bad for not realizing that guy gave off bad vibes sooner, he upset Michael.

“I’m really sorry, I’m so drunk I didn’t even real-“ Luke starts but Michael cuts him off, giving him a confused look.

“This isn’t your fault, Luke. He’s just not a good guy, you couldn’t have guessed.” Michael squeezes his hand, reassuring Luke it’s alright.

“Well, whenever you’re ready, you can tell me what happened between you two. I’m not gonna push it, though,” Luke says after a couple more seconds of silence, now he’s the one giving Michael’s hand a squeeze. Michael doesn’t look up at Luke, but he smiles sadly.

“You’re too good, you know that?” Luke bites his lip, but doesn’t say anything.

The rest of the walk is quiet, just them whispering and laughing at completely random things, again, thanks to the nice amount of alcohol they both consumed throughout the night. They get to the beach house at around two in the morning and Luke is completely devastated that he needs to say goodbye to Michael now. He doesn’t want this day to end.

“I have a question.” Luke announces as they stop at the door, Luke trying to stall.

“Yes, Luke?” Michael chuckles, looking up at the very drunk and smiley Luke.

“You said we had two more places to go to, before the party,” Luke says, thinking out loud.

“That’s not a question, Luke.” Michael jokes.

“Oh, shut up!” Luke huffs, pulling his hand from Michael’s in protest, but Michael refuses to let it go, pulling it back with a chuckle.

“I wanted us to go to my place after the party, I thought you could play the guitar for me,” Michael starts, looking down at their linked hands. “But, things didn’t quite go as planned. That’s alright, though, we have two whole months. Right?” Now he does look up at the younger boy, giving him the cutest grin. Luke’s heart speeds.

“So, I didn’t completely ruin it today?” Luke asks, tugging at his lip ring nervously.

“You’re such an idiot,” Michael rolls his eyes, giggling. “Of course you didn’t! I really loved hanging out with you. You’re the sweetest dork I know.” Michael winks, leaning up and pressing a small kiss to Luke’s temple, making Luke’s breath catch in his throat.

“But, I’m tired, and you must be too, so I’m gonna head home. Goodnight, Lukey.” He squeezes Luke’s hand one last time before letting go of it, letting it drop by Luke’s side. He smiles one last time before turning around and disappearing down the hill, leaving Luke with his heart and mind racing.

******

The next week consists of Luke mostly hanging out with Ashton and Calum; they explore a little. They go to the beach every day, they go to a different club every night (Luke definitely did _not_ try to convince them to go to Wonderland every night), they even had a movie night one night, and the day after they just went down to the center, just checking it out a little.

Michael told Luke he was working every night that week, which meant he’d be spending most of his days sleeping so he promised Luke they would text and when the week is finally over they can hang out again.

**From: Mikey**

[3:19AM] Lukey, are you up?

**To: Mikey**

[3:21AM] Indeed

**To: Mikey**

[3:21AM] and drunk too!!

**From: Mikey**

[3:22AM] Oh, that’s awesome, you’re such a funny drunk, I wish I was there to see it ://

**To: Mikey**

[3:23AM] I wish you were here too

**From: Mikey**

[3:25AM] I’m touched, but I wanted to ask you something, are you too drunk for that right now?

**To: Mikey**

[3:26AM] Nope, what is it

**From: Mikey**

[3:28AM] Well, I haven’t seen you all week and I wanted to hang out so I remembered I promised Calum and Ashton we’d all hang out together. How about I’ll pick up some takeouts (and booze!!) and come over tomorrow?

**To: Mikey**

[3:30AM] YES! That sounds SO great, Mikey

**To: Mikey**

[3:30AM] Plus, it’ll get them off my back, they wouldn’t shut up about you hanging out with us all week

**From: Mikey**

[3:35AM] I’m honored ;)

**To: Mikey**

[3:36AM] It’s just Ash and Cal they’re always this excited, don’t get cocky now

**From: Mikey**

[3:37AM] Don’t be so mean :(

**From: Mikey**

[3:37AM] And go to sleep, I don’t want you all tired tomorrow

**To: Mikey**

[3:41AM] Fine, mom

**From: Mikey**

[3:43AM] Goodnight, Lukey

**To: Mikey**

[3:48AM] Goodnight, Mikey, I’ll see you tomorrow

******

“You look absolutely ridiculous.”

Luke’s eyes fly open as he recognizes that voice. It doesn’t belong to either Calum or Ashton, it belongs to Michael. Luke doesn’t know what time it is, but he is certain it is far too early for Michael to be standing in his room, watching him drool all over his pillow.

“What?” Luke sits up, smoothing his wild sleep-hair down, trying to make himself look somewhat presentable. He fails miserably.

“I said,” Michael starts, stepping into the room and sitting in front of Luke on the bed. “That you look ridiculous,” Michael chuckles and Luke rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah, as if  _you_  look so perfect when you sleep,” Luke says mockingly even though there’s no doubt in his mind that Michael does look absolutely perfect when he sleeps. Which is fucking creepy so he should stop thinking that.

“Excuse me, I always look perfect,” Michael says, flipping his nonexistent long-hair over his shoulder.

“You’re a joke.” Luke rolls his eyes, but he can’t help but laugh, and Michael joins, his laughter is music to Luke’s ear. And here’s yet another creepy thought provided by no other than Mr. Luke Hemmings. He should really learn when to stop.

“So, care to explain what you’re doing here so early? Or who let you in?” Luke lifts an eyebrow at Michael.

“Well, Luke, it’s actually four fifteen in the afternoon. And Ashton let me in about an hour ago.” Michael chuckles and Luke’s cheeks turn a dark shade of purple.

“Oh.” He blurts, his mind is so slow when he’s only woken up three minutes ago.

“It’s alright though, Ashton and I hung out until Calum woke up and we all decided it was time for you, sleepy princess, to wake up as well,” Michael explains. “I was chosen.” He puts a hand on his chest in pride, a smug look on his face.

“Well, I look absolutely horrible,” Luke says, looking down at his mostly naked body, thankful he hadn’t been sleeping fully naked. That would be so embarrassing. He’s only wearing a pair of black boxers and his hair must be an utter mess.

“Give me ten minutes to get ready,” He says, looking at Michael.

“Sure, but you don’t look horrible at all. You look so sleepy and cute,” Michael giggles, getting up from Luke’s bed.

“Also, did you know that Ashton doesn’t like FIFA? This is going to be a problem, y’know.” He laughs, leaving Luke alone, Michael’s smile engraved in his mind.

Luke brushes his teeth as quick as he possibly can, grabbing a pair of grey sweatpants and the first t-shirt he can find. He tries to make his hair look less horrible, but he finally just give up and grabs that grey beanie he likes before settling for this very average look.

“Finally, the sleeping beauty has awakened!” Calum announces as he’s the first one to spot Luke, making Ashton and Michael turn around to face him, both smiling.

“Hurry your ass up, we’re hungry!” Ashton shouts. Luke rolls his eyes, taking the seat next to Michael on the couch.

***

“What movie are we watching?” Luke asks after they’ve all got themselves a nice amount of noodles to shut them up.

“I’m in the mood for horror,” Calum says, his voice muffled by all the food he’s  stuffing into his mouth as if someone is going to take his food away soon.

“I’m fine with that.” Ashton shrugs, and everyone is looking at Luke.

“Fine, but if I can’t sleep at night one of you will have to make some room in their bed for me,” He says.

“I’ll watch over you, Lukey.” Michael winks.

Calum and Ashton argue over who should be the one to put his food down and go set up the movie, an argument that Calum loses. They decide on a stupid movie Luke certainly does not want to watch, but the fact that Michael is there with them, sitting so close next to Luke on the couch makes everything about that movie a lot less horrible, so he doesn’t say anything.

Halfway through the movie, Calum is pretty much sitting in Ashton’s lap, occasionally hiding his face in Ashton’s chest when he gets scared, and Luke and Michael are sitting closer than before, but not really touching, only shoulders and hips brushing.

“I hate this movie!” Luke yells as someone’s head gets chopped off, spraying blood all over the floor and walls and Luke feels his food coming back up.

“Aw, come on now Lukey, don’t be scared,” Michael mockingly coos, reaching over and grabbing Luke’s hand like he did a week ago, at the party. Luke instantly feels better. He can feel Ashton and Calum eyeing them from their joint seat on the other couch, so he shoots them a warning glance which they return with approving smiles as they both mouth ‘go Luke!’ or some other words of encouragement that definitely do not encourage Luke as his face heats up as usual.

They keep watching the movie, and about five minutes later Ashton and Calum decide they’re going to help Luke out, definitely unnecessary and unwanted help.

“I want ice cream,” Calum announces out of the blue, but Luke is sensing that he’s up to something, and it worries him.

“Yeah, me too.” Ashton says, tapping on his stomach to emphasize his sudden need for ice cream. Luke is going to kill them later like that masked freak killed all those people in the stupid movie he’s being forced to watch.

“I think Cal and I are going to get some, we’ll go down to the store,” Ashton says, pushing Calum off of him and getting up.

“Yeah, we’ll be back later, we’ll get you guys some too,” Calum says, forcing a huge smile onto his face.

“Bye!” Ashton calls, pulling Calum with him.

 “That was…strange.” Michael says, pulling his eyebrows together.

“I have no explanation for that.” Luke admits, mentally frowning at his friends’ stupid behavior, they mean well but they honestly just make everything so embarrassing for Luke.

“Can we turn off this horrific movie now, please?” Luke practically begs, hoping that now that Cal and Ash are gone they can stop watching that thing.

“Sure, I didn’t really like it anyway.” Michael admits, shrugging as Luke shoots him a thankful look before finding the remote and turning the TV off.

“What do you want to do?” Luke asks, sitting with his legs folded beneath him. Michael mimics Luke’s sitting position, grinning.

“I’ve got an idea,” He says, an evil smirk creeping onto his lips.

“What?” Luke asks, lifting an eyebrow.

“Play the guitar for me,” The red head says, batting his lashes against his cheeks adorably. “Please.” He looks up at Luke and Luke knows he’s done for, he can’t say no to that.

“Fine,” Luke gives in with a grumble, getting up. He grabs his guitar from his bedroom and is about to go back down when he slams right into Michael’s chest with a startled shriek.

“You scared me!” He hits his chest, pushing him back a little.

“Sorry, sorry!” Michael lifts his hands in surrender, laughing.

“Shut up.” Luke murmurs and rolls his eyes, letting himself fall back onto his bed, inviting Michael to join.

“So, what’re you going to play for me?” Michael sits down, crossing his legs, an anticipating grin plastered on his lips.

“Well, I’ll play Secrets by Good Charlotte,” Luke decides, it’s the first thing that comes into his mind right now, for no reason at all.

“I love Good Charlotte!” Michael squeaks, clapping his hands like a kid.

Luke plays the song, a quieter version of it, since he only has his acoustic guitar with him. Michael watches him, occasionally looking up from Luke’s skilled fingers to his face, his eyes screwed shut because he’s feeling nervous and a little shy and he’s trying not to mess up the lyrics even though he can practically sense Michael’s green orbs on him, piercing holes in his skin.

“That was amazing,” Michael’s mouth hangs open, his eyes shining.

“That was okay at best. But I appreciate you being gentle,” Luke chuckles, playing with the strings of his guitar.

“Luke, are you kidding me? You play so good!” Michael exclaims. “And your voice is just…I wish I could sing like that.” Michael sounds genuine, but Luke is having trouble believing it. He’s always struggled with taking a compliment.

“Some time I’ll play something for you as well, but not today,” Michael says, dropping onto his side, his head on Luke’s pillows. The older boy looks up at Luke, patting the empty space on the pillows near his head. So Luke gently places the guitar back on the floor before lying down next to Michael.

They’re both lying on their sides, face to face, so close. Luke can feel Michael’s breath on his face and his green eyes are staring into Luke’s blue ones. Luke’s heart might explode. He is going to pass out.

All of the sudden, Michael is starting to move closer to, so close their noses are touching. Luke is statue-frozen, not sure what he should do or how to react. What is Michael even doing? Luke’s eyes flutter shut, as he leans into Michael a little, waiting for Michael to make a move. But he doesn’t.

“Uh, so, speaking of secrets, there’s something I wanted to tell you,” Michael clears his throat, rolling back to his initial position, much farther from Luke. Luke’s chest is falling and rising quickly, his breath caught in his throat. What just happened?

“Do you remember Derek, from the party?” Michael asks, but Luke’s mind is so fuzzy and clouded and mostly confused it takes him a few seconds to go back to reality.

“What?” He blurts out typically, and Michael smirks.

“Derek, from the party last week,” Michael reminds him.

“Oh, yeah. What about him?”

“I wanted to tell you about him, I wasn’t sure if I should but I’ve been thinking about it all week and you told me a lot about yourself, it’s time for me to open up as well.” Michael says and Luke doesn’t interrupt, he lets him talk.

“Derek was my…rebound, I guess? After my first serious boyfriend. I was really hurt and my friends suggested I’d find someone else to keep my mind on, so I did. I found Derek. It was the worst idea, but I didn’t know that at the time,” Michael says, not looking up at Luke.

“It was all great at first, he was perfect. He kept me busy and he went slow with me, he knew I’d been hurt before and I wasn’t ready for anything too serious, so we’d just hang out a lot. After a while, he got really needy and he’d try to talk me into sleeping with him even though I kept telling him I wasn’t ready.” Luke is examining Michael’s face as he talks, his heart aching for him, he can sense Michael’s pain.

“So one day he set an ultimatum, it was either we were going to have sex or he was going to find someone else who can ‘provide his needs’, which is ridiculous…But either way, I obviously broke up with him. And every once in a while he pops back, trying to convince me to get back together, promising he wouldn’t do that again, but he’s already nothing to me.” Michael says, sniffling, Derek had clearly hurt him and Luke can’t even begin to imagine what it feels like.

“I’m sorry. I’m being really stupid right now,” Michael says, wiping a tear that escaped his left eye. “I didn’t mean for this to happen.” He chokes out, looking up at Luke, searching for a reaction.

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m glad you told me.” Luke says with a small comforting smile, throwing his arm around Michael’s body, pulling him closer. “And it’s okay to cry and to be upset, Derek is such an asshole. I swear if I ever bump into him again I’ll-“ Luke is cut off by the sound of Michael’s giggle.

“You’re cute,” He grins and then stretches his hand out, reaching for Luke’s free one. Luke interlocks their fingers together. They just lie there, looking at each other in silence. It isn’t awkward at all, it’s quite comforting and nice, just being there in silence, just them.

“Hey, Luke?” Michael breaks the silence, giving Luke a slightly scared look.

“Yes?” he looks down at him.

“Can you promise me something?” Luke simply nods.

“Promise me that no matter what happens you’d never hurt me or leave me?” Michael says but it sounds more like a hesitant question, biting the inside of his cheek, screwing his eyes shut.

Luke, with the hand that isn’t intertwined with Michael’s, reaches out for Michael’s face, touching his cheek gently and making him open his eyes and look at him.

“I will never hurt you, Michael. I promise,” Luke whispers. “I would never want to do that.”

Michael lets out a shaky breath he seemed to be holding for a while there.

“Can we just rest for a while?” he asks, looking up at Luke who refuses to tear his eyes away from the older boy.

“Of course, whatever you want,” Luke says Michael sighs and closes his eyes, squeezing Luke’s hand.  And Luke just watches him as he lies there beside him for a while, too scared that he’d disappear if he dares to look away. But eventually he lets himself drift into sleep as well, knowing Michael would still be there when he wakes up.


	5. remembering sunday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo...things are happening in this chapter, a lot of things, important things, I hope you'll like it!!

*******

It’s been a week since Michael had told Luke about Derek and it might be strange and Luke might just be imagining things but he’s pretty sure Michael had been so much more open with him since, more comfortable around him, it makes Luke extremely happy.

Sure, he really, really wants things to happen with Michael, but first of all he wants to be his friend, it just seems right.

They spend the entire week together. It’s mostly Michael coming over to the beach house and them watching a movie or having lunch and dinner with Calum and Ashton and sometimes they’d head down to the beach too. It isn’t anything special or fancy but honestly, Luke is just grateful he is getting to spend all his time with Michael.

“Have you been listening to a word I said?” Calum snaps his fingers in front of Luke’s face, rolling his eyes at him because he knows for sure Luke is totally not listening.

“You’ve been drooling over the thought of Michael for the past five hours, Luke, get help, it’s gross.” Calum scrunches up his nose, making disgusted sounds.

“Leave him alone, Cal. Look how happy he is,” Ashton says, punching Calum’s shoulder lightly. Naturally, it turns into a fight. They keep punching each other and yelling, but Luke doesn’t mind because it gives him more time to plan what he’s going to do tonight.

Michael is coming over again, he said he has a surprise for them. Luke doesn’t know what the surprise is but as long as Michael is there he doesn’t really care either. And again, Luke is completely and utterly whipped and it’s only been two weeks. Calum’s right, he _is_ gross.

“God, Ash, you’re so annoying sometimes! I’m kicking you out of the group and replacing you with Michael!” Calum yells, punching Ashton again. Ashton gasps, hitting Calum even harder.

“How dare you? Luke _tell_ him!” he shouts and both boys turn to look at Luke.

“Leave me out of this,” He rolls his eyes, grabbing the TV remote. “And Michael too.”

“Speaking of, when are you going to actually make a move? It’s been ages since we got some juicy details,” Calum asks, leaning forward in his seat, stealing the remote out of Luke’s hands.

“Spill,” he says, hiding the remote in his sweats’ pocket and out of Luke’s reach while wiggling his eyebrows at him.

“I’m not going to make a move, Cal,” Luke sighs, wishing that for once his friends would stop bugging him over this.

“What? Why not?” Calum pouts, glancing over to Ashton for help.

“Because, he’d been hurt before and I’m not going to pressure him,” Luke admits, rubbing his eyes tiredly. “Plus, I love being his _friend_. I’m not going to risk that because I have a stupid, childish crush.”

“I call bullshit, Luke!” Calum yells, standing up and pointing an accusing finger in his direction. “The only reason you aren’t trying anything is because you’re too scared he’ll reject you,” Luke isn’t going to lie, it’s obviously been on his mind since the beginning, but it’s not the only thing he thinks of.

“Leave me alone.” Luke groans and Ashton puts a hand on Calum’s shoulder, sitting him back down.

“Not everyone’s got your courage, y’know. You can’t push me like this,” Luke scoffs, he hates to admit this but he knows both Calum and Ashton are way more impressive than him. They’re both better looking and have great personalities and lots and lots of self confidence while Luke is just…Luke. He’s awkward and weird and frankly, who wants that?

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Calum lifts an eyebrow, clearly confused by Luke’s latest statement. He peeks at Ashton only to find him just as puzzled.

“You know what I mean,” Luke huffs and gets up from the couch, walking over to the kitchen. He knows his friends are going to follow him, but just sitting there while they poke holes in him with their eyes is simply unbearable.

“Luke, stop!” Ashton runs after him, putting a hand on his shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

Luke takes a deep breath.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” He forces Ashton’s hand off, rushing over to the fridge to get himself something he can focus on, anything he can put his hands on, really.

“Can you just talk to us?” Ashton’s practically begging and Luke hates it, he doesn’t want them to feel like they need to squeeze things out of him, he just doesn’t know how to put what he’s feeling into words. He grabs a water bottle, slamming the fridge door shut and sitting at the counter, playing with the cap as Ashton and Calum take their seats on either side of him in silence, waiting for him to talk.

“I hate it when you do that,” He says, absolutely despising the way they’re eyeing him, silently interrogating him.

“We’re just worried about you, Luke, that’s all,” Ashton tries to reach out and touch Luke again, but immediately regrets it, retrieving his hand. Luke feels guilty, he never meant to hurt their feelings. They’re just confused. Hell, he’s confused too. He’s feeling all these things and he doesn’t know what to do.

“Can you just say something?” Calum groans in frustration after a couple of minutes of them just sitting there idiotically.

“Sorry,” Luke shakes his head, still fiddling with the blue cap of his bottle.

“Don’t be, just tell us what’s on your mind, okay? We want to help.” Ashton says softly and Calum nods in agreement.

“I don’t know, okay? I just feel like there’s no reason someone like Michael would ever want someone like me,” Luke bows his head, not daring to look up and meet his friends’ eyes, he’s too embarrassed at how genuinely stupid he’s being.

“Is that a joke, Luke? It better be a fucking joke!” Calum tenses up at his side and Luke can feel his stern look without actually looking up at him. He simply shakes his head as a response, flinching a bit.

“God, Luke, you’re such an idiot!” Calum shouts and Luke is sure he’s going to mock him for being the complete fucking moron he already knows he is. He cringes, waiting for the shame to come.

“Do you want me to tell you what you are, Luke? You’re one of the best people I’ve ever met in my entire life. You always make me laugh and you’re too good for this world, the way you put other people’s happiness before your own, sometimes it drives me crazy because you’re blindly putting yourself last, but you have good intentions, the best intentions,” Calum says in one breath, pausing to fill up his lungs with some more air before continuing.

“And you know what else? You’re so special and talented and most importantly, my best friend. And if some guy or girl, _even_ Michael, doesn’t want you then they’re a fucking fool and they don’t deserve you in the first place.” Luke does look up now, meeting his friend’s eyes. They’re wide and determined and Luke feels bad for even doubting him and thinking he would make fun of him.

“You…you really feel that way?” Luke chokes out, he isn’t used to Calum being so emotional, he usually doesn’t rant like that and to hear him say that really makes Luke’s heart swell because he really, really loves his best friend.

“I do, and it makes me really mad when you talk about yourself like that, you’re so hard on yourself,” Calum shakes his head, shifting in his seat.

“It’s okay to be insecure, but you can’t put yourself down like that,” Ashton stretches his hand out, pulling Luke into his side, not worried Luke will avoid his touch this time.

“We love you a lot, Luke.” He says, motioning for Calum to join the hug, which he obviously does. So they just sit there for a while in this awkward embrace, not saying much. It’s nice and Luke is so grateful to be surrounded by them, he really loves his friends.

***

Luke’s still in the shower when the doorbell rings and he knows it’s Michael so he nearly slips and bashes his head against the hard floor, but he grabs the wall in the last second, saving himself from what would probably be the world’s most embarrassing death; _tripped and died in the shower because he was excited over his crush coming over_.

That would make a nice headline.

“Luuuuuuuuuuuuuke!!!!!!” Calum screams at the top of his lungs all the way from the living room. “Michael’s here!!!!!! Hurry up!!!” He keeps shouting and Luke can practically see Michael’s mortified expression so he chuckles to himself, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around his waist. He leaves the bathroom and rushes down the hall to his room, hurrying to grab some clothes and meet Michael downstairs, he’s been waiting for this moment to arrive all day.

He opens his closet, pulling out a pair of grey sweatpants, a white t-shirt and a pair of black boxers when someone clears their throat behind him. He shrieks and turns around, dropping the clothes out of his hands. Obviously, down with the clothes goes his towel, falling at his feet in a pile with the rest of his stuff.

“Uh, hi,” Michael barely whispers. Luke swears his face has never been as red or hot as it is right now. Michael is there, sitting on his bed with a stupid smirk, checking Luke out.

Wait, rewind…Michael is _checking Luke out_. His eyes curiously traveling up and down his body. Luke never minded being naked in front of people anyway, so he just goes with it. Why not have some fun _and_ test the waters?

“I didn’t think you would come up here,” Luke grins, twisting his lip ring between his teeth teasingly.

“I’m sorry, that was probably stupid of me, Ashton did mention you were in the shower, I-I just didn’t expect that…” Michael mumbles, completely disoriented and Luke is one hundred percent pleased with himself.

“I should probably give you some privacy,” Michael gets himself together, finally meeting Luke’s eyes.

“No, it’s alright. I don’t mind, I’m naked most of the time anyway,” Luke giggles and Michael’s jaw almost hits the floor.

“Are you sure? I can leave if you-“ Michael starts but Luke stops him with a shake of his head.

“Don’t worry about it.” He winks at Michael before turning back around to pick up his clothes, making sure he’s giving Michael a perfect view. This is probably the bravest Luke’s ever been in his entire life. And it was not a lie, Luke honestly does not mind being naked around people, but he’s never been naked in front of someone he has a crush on, plus, he never did what he just did for Michael…Cal and Ash would be so proud.

“So, you said you had a surprise for us. What is it?” Luke asks while fishing his black boxers out of the pile of clothes, slowly pulling them up his long legs, making sure Michael isn’t missing this.

“Uh, yeah, it’s downstairs so when you’re done getting dressed…” Michael says, not tearing his eyes away Luke’s body while he pretends to not notice.

“I’m curious!” Luke whines, pulling up his grey sweatpants next.

“Well, hurry up then!” Michael rushes, but he sounds more like himself now. Luke is utterly shocked he brought Michael to a point where he was actually distracted and is internally smiling, but he’s obviously not going to say anything. Michael lets Luke’s embarrassing actions and remarks slide all the time, Luke owes him, so he silently enjoys Michael’s full attention.

“What took you so long?” Ashton lifts an eyebrow when Luke and Michael finally emerge down the stairs and into the living room. Luke shrugs, glancing over to Michael who’s blushing just a little bit.

“I couldn’t decide what to wear,” A smile creeps onto Luke’s lips as he takes a seat on the couch, Michael not too far behind. Calum shoots him a questioning look, obviously suspecting something, so Luke makes a mental note to himself to tell them what happened later.

“So, Mikey, you mentioned a surprise yesterday…” Calum trails off, an anticipating look on his face. Calum is always curious and he absolutely loves surprises.

“Oh, yes! I have two surprises, actually. One for now and one for later,” Michael says with a grin.

“Does that have anything to do with the huge-ass bag you brought with you?” Ashton asks with his know-it-all smile and Luke rolls his eyes at him.

“Shut up, Ash. Don’t ruin it!” Michael shoves him by the shoulder, getting up and running off somewhere, leaving them all confused.

“What are you-“ Luke starts asking, but then Michael emerges back into the living room with a guitar case in hand and Luke feels his pulse rising, he’s pretty sure that if Michael starts playing or singing, or worse; playing _and_ singing, he will simply melt into a Luke-puddle all over the floor.

“I promised Luke I was going to play for him, since he did for me,” Michael explains, sitting down next to Luke, taking his guitar out of its case. “And I never break my promises.” He adds in a hushed tone so only Luke can hear.

“I’m going to play Remembering Sunday by All Time Low because it’s a Sunday and I’m cheesy like that,” He winks, playing with the strums a bit before he actually starts playing. Luke decides that Michael looks and sounds like an angel, that’s what he truly is, an angel sent from above to save Luke from everything that’s wrong with the world. He strums with such skill and his small fingers look really cute in contrast to the guitar and his voice is so soft and nice.

Sure, Michael has this whole punk-emo act going on but Luke sees right through him. You’d expect someone with his looks to be into hardcore metal and whatnot, but he’s so soft and gentle…Luke loves it, he just loves it.

“Uh, is anyone going to say anything?” A tinge of red paints Michael’s cheeks as he scans the room, analyzing his friends’ expressions nervously. Michael’s never nervous, he’s _Michael_. He’s brave and confident and this is a nice change, seeing him when he’s vulnerable.

“You’re amazing!” Ashton is (obviously) the first to speak, his voice high-pitched and excited. “We should _totally_ start a band!” he shrieks and Luke can practically see Ashton’s brain working as he thinks aloud.

“I’ll be the drummer, duh,” He points at himself with a chuckle. “Luke and Michael will play guitar and Cal will be the bassist because we’ve already got two guitarists,” Ashton explains and Luke is starting to think he’s being serious.

“Sit down, Ash,” Calum rolls his eyes, putting a hand on Ashton’s shoulder, forcing him back down. “Michael, you’re amazing!” he grins.

“Better than Luke, for sure,” He adds, sticking his tongue out in Luke’s direction.

“Why are you so mean?” Luke pouts, earning him a giggle from Michael. Luke loves it when Michael giggles.

“I appreciate that, but that’s completely wrong,” Michael sets his guitar back in the case gently, before sitting back down next to Luke, their shoulders brushing.

“Luke is a thousand times better than I am.” Michael smiles up at Luke and Luke realizes he’s completely under his spell.

“Are we really going to argue over this?” Luke lifts an eyebrow.

“No, because now we’re moving on to my next surprise,” Michael says, getting up and disappearing with his guitar for another minute.

_“Alcohol!”_

******

After more empty beer cans than they can count and about a bottle and a half of vodka, it’s safe to say that the four of them are one hundred percent drunk. They’re laying in a pile on the floor, an arm here a leg there, giggling and laughing for no reason at all. But who needs a reason when you’re drunk?

“We should play a game!” Calum exclaims from his place on the floor, buried under Ashton’s arm and Michael’s leg.

“What game, Cal?” Luke snorts, nothing’s really funny but, also, everything _is_ funny.

“Truth or Dare!”

“What are we, twelve?” Ashton protests.

“It could be fun, c’mon!” Michael chimes in, still giggling. Luke loves his giggles, so he decides to agree with him even though he’s always hated Truth or Dare because it’s extremely easy to embarrass Luke, whether it’s with a truth or a dare.

“I’m in,” He pipes up, Ashton shooting him a disappointed and surprised look.

“Three against one, you lose, Ash.” Calum says and gets up from the pile, making both Ashton and Michael groan because he probably stepped on some of their body parts in the process. Luke’s foot is squished by Ashton who gets up only a split second after Calum, leaving Michael and Luke on the floor together, looking at each other.

“Hi,” Michael whispers.

“Hi.” Luke grins. It feels like ever since Michael became a huge part of his life he simply can’t stop smiling. It’s silly, but Michael just makes him happier. He makes him laugh and he never gets bored around him, he really loves being around him.

“Are we going to play truth or dare with them or just keep lying here like idiots?” Ashton calls and Michael chuckles, getting up and pulling Luke with him while Calum retrieves the unfinished bottle of vodka, dropping it in the middle of the circle they formed.

“Who wants to go first?” Calum asks and Ashton rolls his eyes before leaning forward, spinning the bottle. The bottle points to Calum and they’re all eyeing his expectedly.

“Hey Cal, truth or dare?” Ashton chuckles in an evil, scary matter, wiggling his eyebrows at Calum.

“Truth.” He doesn’t hesitate.

“Have you ever sucked a dick before?” Ashton practically sings, a cocky expression smudged all over his face, he’s enjoying this so much. Plus, this question isn’t new. Ashton made it his goal to make sure he knows if Calum ever did, in fact, suck anyone’s dick. Every time they’d play truth or dare, no matter where, when or with who, Ashton would ask Calum that question.

“God, Ash, you’re so fucking annoying!” Calum scolds, crossing his arms over his chest with a pout. “Quit asking that question.” He adds.

“Why are you reacting like that?” Ashton asks, he’s onto something here. “You never get this mad…” he adds, snickering.

“Who was it?” Calum’s face turns completely red like a tomato and he doesn’t make eye contact. Luke is struggling to contain his laughter, leaning against Michael for support.

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell us!” Ashton shouts.

“It was about three months ago, when I went to Megan Russo’s party and you two didn’t want to come,” Calum explains, hating every second of it. “I don’t know how we got there, I was drunk but it was Colton Royce, okay? Happy now?” Calum covers his face with his hands.

“Sucking dicks is awesome, Cal. Stop whining!” Michael sarcastically rolls his eyes, smirking at Luke with a wink. His heart almost stops beating.

“I’m never going to hear the last of this,” Calum mutters under his breath as he angrily snatches the bottle out of Ashton’s hands who is wiping tears of laughter out of his eyes.

“I’m spinning the fucking bottle!” Calum yells, getting everyone’s attention. The bottle points to Luke and he knows he’s doomed. Calum’s pout turns into an evil grin and Ashton looks even more pleased than he was ten seconds ago when he found out Calum sucked someone off. Luke is so fucking dead, they’re going to make him do something embarrassing with Michael, he just feels it.

“Truth or dare, Lukey?” Calum asks.

If he chooses truth, they’ll force him to admit he likes Michael and that’s too dangerous, so he picks dare even though he knows they’ll make him regret it.

“Dare.” He answers Calum, breathing in and out slowly, trying to calm down. He’s fucking scared. Calum’s smile grows even wider now, and it’s creepy. He turns to Ashton, whispering something into his ear, making Luke rolls his eyes before turning to look at Michael nervously. He’s watching Ashton and Calum with an expectant grin.

“Worried?” he asks when he notices Luke looking at him. He simply nods.

“They can be brutal,”

“Luke, I dare you to drink the rest of this vodka out of Michael’s body!” Calum calls with a huge smirk, Ashton giggling beside him. Luke’s heart practically stops beating and he chokes on his own air, he feels the blood rushing to his face. He hates his friends. He looks over at Michael, examining his reaction. He’s laughing, which is relieving, but Luke’s still not sure about this.

“Are you okay with this?” He leans closer to Michael so he can whisper.

“I’m fine, it’s a game! Loosen up and go grab that vodka.” Michael winks, pushing Luke in the direction of the bottle. Calum shakes his head, making ‘tsk’ noises.

“I’m pouring the vodka, I’m not letting you cheat and drink it off his palm or whatever,”

“Shirt off!” Calum yells and Michael laughs, taking his shirt off and lying down on his back, looking up at Luke.

“Have fun.” He winks as Calum uncaps the clear bottle.

“Ready, Mikey?” he asks, Michael sticking his thumb up in the air in approval. “Stay still.” Calum carefully pours a small amount of the clear liquid onto Michael’s stomach, making a small trail starting from his belly button and going up.

Not that bad, Luke can do this.

“Dive in, Lukey,” Ashton giggles, now sitting beside Michael’s head, eyeing the scene carefully.

“Dear God.” Luke whispers to himself before leaning down, gently licking the vodka off of Michael. Michael giggles and Luke can feel the vibrations on his lips.

“That tickles,” Michael chuckles. “It feels better than the last time someone took a shot off my body though…” he mumbles dreamily and all of them look down at him, Luke lifting an eyebrow.

“What? Do you really think this is my first time doing body shots?” Michael chuckles again and Luke rolls his eyes, feeling a pang of jealousy. But then Calum pushes Luke back a little, making room for him and the bottle. This time, he pours it on Michael’s chest. He gasps a little and Luke assumes the vodka is just cold, or maybe he’s excited, like Luke is.

“How am I supposed to get there?” Luke asks, looking between his three friends.

“Straddle him!” Ashton yells, startling Luke. He’s such a loud drunk it’s horrible. Luke looks down at Michael, questioning.

“Just go for it.” He smirks. So Luke, careful not to spill the vodka, places a leg on either side of Michael’s stomach, slowly sitting down, not wanting to squish Michael.

“You’re lighter than a feather, Luke, sit the fuck down,” Michael rolls his eyes, so Luke complies. Luke’s heart is beating so fucking fast, he’s not sure he’s going to make it after tonight. Who would’ve thought he’d be drinking vodka off of his biggest crush’s body? Not him, certainly.

He lowers himself down, pressing his lips to Michael’s chest, sucking the alcohol off of him. This time, Luke decides to do it a lot slower. He’s drunk and on top of Michael, why shouldn’t he enjoy this? His lips and tongue move slow against Michael’s chest as he licks off the bitter liquid.

“Is there any left?” he asks, feeling a lot more confident now. He looks around; Calum and Ashton’s mouths are wide open, extremely shocked by Luke’s unexpected behavior and Michael is smiling, he looks pretty happy with himself and this whole situation.

“Get off, though.” Calum says with a nod. Luke is confused for a second, but he still gets off. And then Calum pouts what’s left of the vodka, starting from Michael’s belly button and going down, stopping at his waistline.

“Have fun,” Calum laughs in Luke’s ear, giving his shoulder a squeeze.

He freezes for a second, not sure how to approach the situation. Then, he decides to just go with it again, so he places himself between Michael’s legs, noticing how Michael’s head rises from the floor, carefully examining every move Luke makes. He places his lips at Michael’s waistline, slowly dragging them up, tracing the vodka trail.

When he finishes cleaning Michael from vodka, he doesn’t get up. He keeps moving his lips and tongue up and down the same small trail the vodka had created seconds ago, looking up at Michael. His eyes are almost completely shut, like he’s stuggling to keep them open, and he’s breathing heavily.

“Done,” Luke announces, humming against Michael’s skin.

“What was _that_?” Ashton asks as Luke moves back to his previous place in the circle while Calum takes Michael to the kitchen so they can wash themselves off the remains of vodka. Luke simply shrugs, not sure how he’s supposed to respond to that question.

“Good job.” Ashton winks proudly, and then Calum and Michael are back. They keep playing truth of dare for another thirty minutes or so until Calum falls asleep on the floor and Ashton is giggling uncontrollably.

“I’m tired,” Luke murmurs, resting his head on Michael’s shoulder.

“Me too,” Michael yawns, getting up. “I should probably get going.”

“No!” Luke calls out hysterically, startling Ashton and even Calum, who stirs a little in his peaceful sleep on the hard wooden floor.

“I mean, it’s late and you’re drunk. You can stay here, right Ash?” Luke eyes Ashton with panic.

“Yes, of course,” Ashton says, but then something shifts in his eyes. “But we don’t have an extra bed, I guess you can sleep with one of us, though,” He grins and Luke’s face heats up again.

“Luke?” Ashton suggests. Michael turns to look at him, unsure.

“Yeah, of course. You can sleep with me,” Luke says before realizing how that sounded, immediately regretting it.

“I mean, not like that!” he panics. “Like, you know…you can sleep in the same bed…as me…my bed,” Luke stumbles around with his words, the alcohol’s effect is clearly wearing off and he’s returning to his awkward habits.

“I know what you meant.” Michael laughs, squeezing Luke’s side.

“Goodnight, Ash.” Luke says, waving at him as they get up.

“Goodnight.” Michael adds and they walk to the stairs, not before Luke turns around, giving Ashton an angry stare. He simply sticks his tongue out, giggling.

When in Luke’s room, they both get ready for bed, brushing their teeth together and then getting rid of their clothes, both of them in nothing but their boxers. Luke tries his best not to stare at Michael’s almost-naked body but he honestly can’t, occasionally sneaking a peek at him, hoping he won’t notice. When they’re finally ready, they get into Luke’s bed, lying there in silence face to face, just like they did that day a week ago.

“So, earlier was…interesting,” Michael smirks, biting his lip. Luke can only make so much of him in the dark room, but it’s enough for him.

“Yeah, it certainly was,” Luke chuckles, rolling his eyes. “It was my first time ever drinking anything out of anyone’s body.” He admits, earning him a giggle from Michael. God knows he loves those.

“You were good, I was impressed.” The older boy says, and suddenly Luke feels his warm fingers on his, and he links they’re hands together. Luke doesn’t say anything about it.

“Can we sleep now?” Michael asks, yawning again. It’s really adorable when he yawns, Luke decides.

“Goodnight, Mikey.” Luke gives his hand a squeeze, letting his eyes flutter shut.

“Night, Lukey.” Michael does the same, squeezing Luke’s hand, sending jolts of excitement up his arm and all over his body.

Luke loves everything he does with Michael; he loves how they can laugh about everything, how they just hold hands like that, how Michael smells and giggles and laughs, he loves their stupid jokes…

 _Shit_. It hits him.

_I think love Michael._


	6. fireworks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So again things //almost// happen between them, but things are developing, slowly...Enjoy!

*******

When Luke wakes up he’s completely confused as to where he is or what’s that thing pressed against his back. He’s even really startled for about ten seconds before last night hits him just as hard as the headache does and he remembers falling asleep with Michael.

Careful not to wake him, Luke looks around, analyzing the position they shifted to in their sleep; Luke’s back is pressed flat against Michael’s chest and their fingers are still laced together, awkwardly caging Luke between their linked hands and Michael’s chest. He surely isn't complaining, though.

“Good morning, _babe_ ,” Michael rasps with a chuckle and Luke almost falls off the bed, caught off guard.

“Shit, Michael!” he yells, ripping his hand out of Michael’s and rolling over so he can look at him. “I thought you were still sleeping.” Luke’s heart is beating extremely fast, Michael totally scared him but maybe it’s also because…well… _Michael just called him babe._

Michael’s propped on his right elbow, his head resting in his palm, a pleased (and a bit smug) smile plastered on his lips.

“I woke up about ten minutes ago,” he explains, reaching his free hand to touch a strand of Luke’s hair, moving it from where it rests on his forehead to the side.

“I was going to wake you, but you look _really_ cute when you sleep.” Luke’s cheeks turn a bright shade of red, maybe even purple, he can’t take a compliment for his life.

“Is that creepy?” Michael says, thinking out loud, probably more to himself than to anyone else. Flashing Luke an apologetic smile, he leans closer to him and Luke thinks he might kiss him and he internally braces himself, preparing himself for that moment he had been waiting for, for so long and-

“Your eyes are so fucking red. Are you feeling alright?”

_Luke, you are so fucking stupid, thinking he would just kiss you like that…_

“What?” he –again- blurts out very idiotically and tactlessly (he made it a habit by now) before realizing Michael’s referring to his hangover, which immediately reminds him of how much his head actually hurts and he groans.

“I’ve got a mean headache.” He grumps, burying his face back in the pillows, inhaling deeply. The pillows smell like Michael, so he tells him that.

“My bed smells like you,” His voice muffled by the pillows. Michael chuckles in response and Luke feels the bed shift underneath him but he can’t even get himself to lift his head up to look, so he doesn’t. He simply lies there with his head buried deep in the comfort of his soft pillows, breathing Michael’s scent, praying it would somehow help him get rid of his headache.

Surprisingly enough, it doesn’t.

After a few minutes of Michael being absent the bed moves again, sinking down a bit under the weight of who he’s assuming is Michael. He feels his warm hand on his back, rubbing between his shoulder blades.

“Roll over.” It isn’t a question, but his tone isn’t demanding at all, it’s soft and concerned. Obviously, Luke does as he’s told, rolling over onto his back, the sun hitting his eyes, making him flinch and whine.

“Sorry, I’ll take care of that in a sec,” Michael says and then Luke feels something wet and cold on his forehead, and he’s very grateful because it feels really nice against his skin that feels really warm at the moment. Michael leaves him on the bed again, his eyes and forehead covered by the dripping cloth, while he gets the blinds, closing them so the light doesn’t bother Luke anymore.

“Is that a little better?” he asks with that soft tone of his again, sitting in his previous spot next to Luke on the mattress. Luke nods with a smile, blindly reaching out for Michael’s hand. Michael chuckles at his lame attempt at grabbing something he can’t see, but still, a split second later their hands are connected again and Luke feels like the balance has been restored to the world. His world. Or maybe it’s become his and Michael’s by now. Holding Michael’s hand makes him feel better than the wet cloth resting on his forehead.

“Do you want to do something today?” Michael questions, his thumb slowly rubbing unrecognizable yet soothing shapes over Luke’s skin. It’s calming and makes Luke’s skin tingle in a good way, the way it always tingles when Michael touches him.

“I feel so bad. I don’t feel like moving.” He sighs and shrugs. His head is really throbbing him right now.

“I’ve got an idea, just stay here, okay?” It isn’t even a real question because Michael immediately rips his hand out of Luke's (which he surely pouts at) and darts out of bed, leaving Luke alone with his curiosity once again.

Michael’s gone for about twenty more minutes, but _again_ , Luke can’t even find the power in him to get up and go look for him. So instead he stays in bed, occasionally dozing in and out of consciousness until he hears feet shuffle and he just knows it’s Michael.

“Luke?” he whispers, trying to figure out if he’s asleep.

“Yeah?” Luke strangles out in response, not sure where exactly to turn his head since he still can't see with the fabric covering half of his face.

“Oh good, I thought you were asleep,” Michael says and Luke hears him moving around the room. “Or maybe passed out, I don’t know.” He adds with a chuckle, making Luke giggle as usual.

“Okay, can I take the towel off now, or do you still need it?” he asks from somewhere really close to Luke, somewhere on his left, but he can’t tell where he is exactly. Luke nods as he takes it off himself, he doesn’t want to make Michael do everything for him, he’s hungover not dead.

Not yet, anyway.

“Hi,” Michael is the first thing he sees, and naturally, he isn’t complaining.

“Hello.” Luke smirks back at him. Michael offers him his hand, helping him out of bed.

“I made you a picnic!” he calls out excitedly, moving out of Luke’s way so he can see. There’s a blanket spread out on the floor and Michael made them breakfast; a plate with a stack of really nice looking pancakes, two sandwiches, two glasses of orange juice and two water bottles.

He’s speechless for a whole minute or two, not even sure how to react. This is probably the nicest, cutest gesture anyone’s ever made for him. And it’s silly, it’s just a stupid made-up picnic on the floor in his room, but for some reason it feels like the most romantic thing ever. But then he remembers that Michael’s only his friend, there’s nothing romantic about this.

“Do you want to sit down and eat or would you rather stand here and stare at the food getting cold like an idiot?” Michael cuts Luke’s string of thoughts about how they’re only friends but maybe they aren’t. He’s confused and feeling really awful thanks to his hangover so he decides to let it go for a while and just keep having fun with Michael.

They sit down on the floor, one of Luke’s leg folded beneath him and the other spread in Michael’s direction so it touches him just a little, tickling his toes.

“Eat! It’ll make you feel better. I know you’re not hungry, but you’ll thank me later,” Michael says, shoving the plate of pancakes in Luke’s direction.

“Such an expert.” Luke says dramatically, making Michael laugh.

“I _am_ a bartender y’know, technically, I am an expert.” He grins, eyeing the plate, hinting Luke that he’s supposed to start eating now or else he’s probably going to shove it down his throat. So he does, he’s pretty sure that he’s never said no to Michael and he’s not going to start now.

Michael makes sure Luke gets some food in him, making Luke laugh and almost squirt orange juice out of his nose, which makes them both laugh even harder. Things are so easy with Michael, he always makes Luke laugh and he just generally feels so much happier and cheerful around him, it’s stupid really, but he’s having fun and this summer is his chance for him to just let go and have fun, so why not?

“Are you feeling any better?” Michael asks as he tries to clean up a little, gathering all the dirty plates together in a pile while trying not to spill any crumbs on the floor.

“A lot, actually,” Luke smiles, pushing Michael’s hands away from the mess they made on the floor.

“Leave it, I’ll clean it later,” He says before adding, “Or maybe I can convince Ash to do it for us.”

Michael rolls his eyes. “You’re evil.”

He gets up, pulling Luke with him. “What do you want to do now?” he asks, guiding Luke back to bed by the shoulders, making him sit down.

 “I don’t mind.” He shrugs and looks up into Michael’s beautiful green eyes. Suddenly, they light up.

“I’ve got another idea,” He grins, to himself before scanning the room, spotting his scattered clothes from last night on the floor by the foot of Luke’s bed.

“Give me an hour, okay?” he asks as slips into his jeans, still looking at Luke expectedly.

“Okay, but what are you going to do?” he lifts a curious eyebrow in Michael’s direction.

“It’s a surprise, babe. Don’t spoil it.” He finishes wearing his clothes, walking over to Luke who is going to lose his consciousness again because Michael keeps calling him babe and it’s just too much.

“I’ll be back soon.” He presses a kiss to Luke’s temple, making his heart skip about fifteen beats, before leaving Luke’s room and disappearing downstairs.

About ten seconds after Michael’s gone Luke finds himself smushed between his two best friends on his bed as he tells them everything that’s happened since he last saw them last night. The picnic story obviously gains most of the attention and a bunch of “awwww”’s.

“Are we going to just ignore the fact that he keeps ‘almost’ kissing you?” Calum raises an eyebrow, always so blunt and forward.

“We never almost kissed, I just keep misinterpreting the situation. There’s a huge difference, Cal.” Luke sighs, resting his head against the wooden headboard behind him.

“ _Please_!” Calum shouts exaggeratedly, making the pounding in Luke’s head impossibly worse.

“You guys are always so couple-y and touchy, you always sit so close to each other, Ashton and I wonder how you even have enough space to breathe.” Calum points out, clearly not done with his speech yet.

“And you guys keep holding hands, it became a thing by now, you slept all cuddled up together. Do you honestly need any more examples, Luke?” Luke rubs the sides of his head, the pain in his head only getting worse since Michael left.

“Cal, can you be just a little gentle? He’s obviously not feeling well.” Ashton scolds, rubbing Luke’s shoulder in a sad attempt at comforting him. Calum simply snorts and Luke can’t see him since his hands are still covering his face, rubbing his eyes and skull, but he can practically sense the eye roll.

“You’re just making excuses for yourself, why can’t you just tell him how you feel? It’s Michael, he isn’t going to make fun of you or whatever it is that you’re so terrified of.” Luke lifts his head up and lets his hands drop into his lap, looking at Calum.

“Can we not do this right now? I’ve got the worst hangover and Michael should be back any minute now. I’m not in the mood for your lectures,” He snaps and starts getting up but Calum stops him before he gets the chance to.

“I’m just looking out for you.” His tone is lighter now, softer and more concerned. Luke can see it in his eyes too, and he isn’t mad, he knows that’s Calum’s way of showing how much he cares for his loved ones, but he really is tired of having this conversation.

“I know, and it means a lot, but I told you, this friendship with Michael is really important to me and the last thing I want to do is jeopardize it in any way.” Calum nods and is just about to say something when they all hear the front door open.

“Hey guys, I’m back!” he yells from downstairs. “I hope you don’t mind I didn’t knock,” He continues, and Luke hears his footsteps climbing up the stairs, coming closer. He reaches Luke’s room and cutely grins at the three of them.

“Is that okay?” he asks, an adorably innocent smile on his face.

“What?” Ashton voices what the three of them are thinking.

“That I came in without knocking,” He chuckles, letting the paper bag he’s holding drop to the floor before kicking off his shoes.

“Yes, of course, don’t be silly.” Luke smiles up at him, he’s really glad Michael’s finally back because he was really looking forward to spending all today with him, and it’s stupid because he’d only been gone for a short while, but he missed him a little.

“Are you joining us in bed?” Calum wiggles his eyebrows suggestively which makes everyone burst into laughter.

“Nah, Luke and I have something to do,” Michael says, flashing them an apologetic smile. “It’s a surprise for you guys.” He explains, stretching his hand out in Luke’s direction, which he stakes without slight hesitation, letting Michael pull him up to his feet.

“Luke’s helping, you’ll see when we’re done.”

“Fine, fine. We’ll fuck off for a while, but don’t do anything stupid!” Ashton points a warning finger at the two of them. Michael nods like the good boy he is before grabbing the bag he abandoned a minute earlier, pulling Luke with him down the hall.

When they enter the bathroom, Luke is more than confused. “Uh, Mikey, what are we-“ Michael cuts him off by waving his hand in a dismissive manner, sitting Luke down on the closed toilet seat.

“Be patient, babe.” He winks, setting the bag down on the marble counter. He takes two boxes out of the bag, putting them on display for Luke. One of the boxes is a hair bleach kit and the other is blue hair dye. Luke looks up, horror stirring in him; is Michael going to make him dye his hair?

“You know I will do pretty much everything you say, but I don’t think I’m ready to dye my hair anytime soon,” Luke audibly gulps, eyeing the boxes sitting in front of him in utter fear.

“Or ever.” He adds, now looking up at Michael’s green orbs. He’s quiet for a whole minute, looking between Luke and the boxes he just set down like he’s trying to catch up, before he bursts out laughing, his eyes squinting and hands shooting down to grab his own stomach as he laughs.

“You thought- no, Luke! It’s for me, I wanted you to help me dye my own hair,” He explains when he calms down a little but still looking as if he’s about to start laughing again. Luke feels stupid because he realizes how obvious that was. He still smiles up at Michael, though.

“I like this color,” He says, motioning for the box of blue hair dye. “Got tired of the red?” he asks, and instinctively Michael’s hand flies up to touch his own hair, smoothing it down a bit.

“It faded and I felt like changing the color, I’ve had red hair for _sooo_ long,” He says, dragging the word to emphasize.

“How long?” Luke asks curiously.

“Uhm, about six months, maybe? I’m not sure,” He shrugs, opening the box of hair bleach. “Before the red I had lilac, I liked it, it was a cool color.” He says while briefly reading the instructions on the box.

“I’ll bleach my hair and then you can help me apply the blue dye?” he meets Luke’s eyes and he nods, smiling.

While Michael bleaches his hair Luke asks him about all the different colors he had and how he even chose them in the first place; Michael has a funny story to come with almost every color he had and Luke is completely fascinated.

Michael is only a year older than him and he’s already done so much. He’s had so many exciting experiences and he just _lived_ so much, he’s full of confidence and happiness. But Luke did notice how it all changes when they get closer to his past, there’s something there he obviously isn’t telling him, but Luke knows this isn’t the time or place to pick at his old scars.

“Okay, so I’m going to get in the tub and you just take the brush and rub the dye everywhere, don’t leave any blank spots!” Michael instructs after he’s done rinsing the bleach in the sink, pulling his shirt over his head, dropping it on the floor carelessly before climbing into the tub and settling down on the edge.

Luke can’t help but stare at Michael’s bare back. His skin is so clear and seems so soft Luke really just wants to reach out and touch it, run his hand over it. But he can’t.

“You should take your shirt off too, unless you want to stain it. This thing gets _everywhere_ and is really hard to get rid of,” As always, Luke follows Michael’s orders, taking his shirt off and throwing it on top of Michael’s abandoned one on the floor before reaching for the hair dye container, grabbing the brush and lightly applying it to a small bunch on Michael’s hair, he’s clearly worried he’s going to do it wrong.

“It’s okay if you get some on my skin, I’m going to wash it off anyway,” He explains, reaching behind himself and placing his hand on top of Luke’s, showing him how to spread the dye around.

“Don’t be scared, I won’t melt. It’s just hair dye.” He snickers and Luke rolls his eyes.

“Shut up.”

Luke can’t explain what, but there’s something extremely strange about this situation; both of them shirtless as Luke gently brushes hair dye onto every strand of Michael’s hair. Michael jumps and stirs when Luke tickles him with the brush, which obviously makes Luke laugh so hard the brush slides down from Michael’s hair to the back of his neck and eventually some of his back before Luke lifts it, laughing even harder.

“Your whole back is blue!” He chokes out, unable to control himself as Michael gets up, trying to look at his back in the mirror before he starts laughing as well.

“God, you’re so bad at this. Good thing you’re not a hair dresser.” Michael playfully pushes Luke and the brush presses against Luke’s chest, painting it blue like Michael’s hair and back.

“Now look what you did!” Luke yells, pushing Michael back as they both keep laughing, it seems like they’re incapable of stopping now.

“You’re such a talent, Luke,” Michael rolls his eyes, taking his seat on the edge of the tub again as Luke finishes up his work with the dye, his tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth in concentration.

“I think I’m done,” He sets the brush down, looking at Michael’s hair like it’s the world’s greatest masterpiece. “If I may say so myself, I think I did a fucking amazing job here.” He smugly smiles as Michael gets up and moves to check his hair in the mirror.

“Now, now, don’t get so full of yourself. You did an _okay_ job, at most,” He teases, winking at Luke through the mirror. “Now we wait, and then we can clean up.”

Michael takes a seat on the counter while Luke returns to his seat on the closed toilet and they wait for about forty five minutes before Michael says it’s time to clean up and see if the dye looks alright.

He steps into the tub, starting the water and immediately shoving his head under the running water, getting water all over his pants.

“Michael your clothes are all wet.” Luke snorts, stating the obvious.

“I know that, Luke! I usually just wash my hair in the sink but _someone_ got hair dye all over my back and I forgot to undress,” Michael tries to keep a straight face but he can’t.

“I’ll help,” Luke gets up, stepping into the tub behind Michael.

“You’re such an idiot!” Michael says, slapping his own hand against his forehead, and Luke isn’t sure why for a second before he realizes he just stepped under the water with his pants on as well.

Great.

“Oh, shut up!” Luke says, grabbing the shower head, spraying water all over Michael’s face and half-wet pants, that are now obviously completely soaked. He gasps, snatching the shower head out of Luke’s reach before doing the same, covering Luke in water. They get rid of the rest of their clothes before continuing with their little water-war until Michael stops.

“Okay! I’m getting grandma skin, can we clean up now?” Luke rolls his eyes but nods, grabbing Michael’s shoulders, spinning him around.

“I’ll take care of your back.” He says, getting the soap and cleaning Michael’s back. Just like he thought, Michael’s skin is so soft and nice to touch, Luke traces the hair dye trail, cleaning any remain of it, not leaving any traces on Michael’s beautiful skin. When he’s done, he looks down at his own chest. He’s about to grab the soap and clean himself up when Michael reaches out, placing his hand on Luke’s chest. He audibly gulps, worried Michael’s going to feel how fast his heart is beating right now.

Michael’s gentle fingers rub at Luke’s chest, getting every bit of blue out. While he does, he never tars his eyes away from Luke’s. Luke feels like his knees might fail him, this situation is so unreal. When they’re done Luke tries to get out of the tub and his feet slip so he almost falls face-first into the hard, tile floor, but Michael is there to save the day (and his life, probably) as he grabs him from behind, pulling him back into the tub.

“You’re such a clumsy goof,” He laughs, holding Luke close as if he dared to let go Luke would fall over again. He turns to face Michael who’s still holding him, hands pressed to Luke’s side.

“I tend to fall a lot.” Luke says quietly, it sounds casual but Luke realizes there’s a double meaning to his words and he thinks Michael senses it too because his smile disappears and he’s staring into Luke’s eyes, his own eyes wide.

“You should watch your step then, you don’t want to fall when there’s no one to catch you.” Luke can feel Michael’s shaky breath on his face as he speaks, the water still running above their heads.

“I try.” Luke feels really shy and exposed all of the sudden, looking down at his own feet.

“You don’t want to fall into the wrong hands, either.” There’s something strange about his tone, it isn’t joking or playful anymore, it’s serious and stern, as if it’s an actual warning. Luke is sure he’s talking about himself, he’s warning him not to fall into his arms.

Too late; he’s physically and emotionally already in Michael’s arms. And it worries him.

“We should get out now, shouldn’t we?” Michael’s back to his playful self now, letting go of Luke with a grin, reaching behind himself to shut the water off as he carefully steps out of the tub, unlike Luke, not slipping and almost embarrassingly falling over.

Guys with great balance and full control over their limbs- Luke sure knows how to pick ‘em!

Michael grabs a towel and ties it around his waist while Luke just stands there like the moron he really is and stares, he really loves Michael’s body.

And the saga of _Luke’s Creepy-Ass Thoughts_ continues!

Michael grabs another towel, walking over to where Luke’s standing inside the tub. He takes the towel, wrapping it around Luke’s shoulders before easily lifting him up, getting him out of the tub. He gently sets Luke’s down on the toilet, rubbing his hands over the towel, trying to get Luke to dry faster.

“Thanks, _mom_.” Luke snickers, earning a much appreciated giggle from Michael.

“Just takin’ care of you, Lukey,” Michael mimics Luke’s mocking tone before adding, “Someone has to.” And with that he turns around, scanning the room for his clothes.

“They’re all wet, remember?” Luke’s always there to state the fucking obvious.

“So, am I going to have to walk around naked until they dry?” Michael lifts an eyebrow in Luke’s direction, and for a second there he is actually considering that idea. But then he mentally shakes himself out of it, reminding himself he needs to relax immediately.

“It’s not like I have a closet full of perfectly dry clothes in the other room or anything…” Luke playfully rolls his eyes.

“You’re so funny today.” Michael says, booping Luke’s nose before leaving the bathroom. As always, Luke follows Michael into his room, Michael plopping down on the bed, looking up at Luke.

“Get me something to wear, _please_?” he bats his lashes sweetly and Luke is obviously not going to say no. He never does. So he walks to his closet, pulling out two pairs of sweatpants, two t-shirts and two boxers, throwing one of each in Michael’s direction and they both dress up. They both dry their hair the best they can using their towels and when they’re done Michael walks over to the mirror, examining his new hair.

“I like it,” Luke says, towering over Michael from behind as he looks at their reflection in the mirror. “A lot, actually.” He adds, reaching out and playing with strands of Michael’s now-blue hair. Michael closes his eyes, leaning into Luke’s fingers.

“I like it when people play with my hair.” He half whispers, half purrs, enjoying the hand messing with his hair. He keeps backing up into Luke’s chest until he’s pressed against it completely, eventually resting his head back on Luke’s shoulder.

“ _We’re back!!!!_ ” Ashton shouts from downstairs, startling both Michael and Luke and completely ruining the nice moment they were having.

“Are you done with whatever it is you were doing?” he keeps shouting and Luke hears them walking around downstairs. Sighing deeply, he smiles at Michael’s reflection for another second.

“Can we go show them your new hair now?” he asks and Michael nods enthusiastically, and Luke wants to show at least a little bit of excitement but to be honest, he’s a little overwhelmed. He feels like Michael keeps sending him these small hints and they keep having these ‘moments’ when it’s just them.

They’ve held hands, _more than once_ , you can practically call it a habit now, they’ve slept in each other’s arms, _more than once_ , they keep hugging and touching and it always seems like Michael is going to kiss him or do _something_ but he never does. Whenever he’s with Michael he feels like there are fireworks around them, it just feels…different, special, he can’t really describe it. It’s safe to say Luke has no idea what’s going on or what to think about Michael’s feelings for him.

But again, he decides to think about it later and not waste his time with Michael on thinking about Michael; that’s idiotic.

When they walk down the stairs, Luke almost trips over his own goddamn feet (is there something he doesn’t trip on, seriously?) and for the second time today, he almost falls and cracks his skull open. And _for the second time today_ Michael catches him, gasping in terror.

“God, Luke!” he holds him close to his chest, his nails digging into Luke’s arm and back. “Watch where you’re going, will you?” He lets out a breath.

“You keep giving me these small heart attacks.” He continues, letting go of Luke now.

“I told you I keep falling,” Luke blushes, his clumsiness will probably never cease to amaze him.

“Yeah, I’m noticing that now.” Michael chuckles, scratching the back of his neck as they start walking again.

“I seem to keep falling into your arms.” Luke tests, looking up at Michael.

“Seems so.” Is all he says.

As they keep walking downstairs Michael reaches out for Luke’s hand, holding it tightly, almost in a painful.

“ _I got you_.”


	7. kiss me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All I'm willing to say is that something //really// big happens here....Enjoy! (ps. I think this is the longest chapter so far)

*******

After showing the guys Michael’s new hair (and the guys completely losing it, squealing that it’s ‘the coolest thing ever’) they decide it’s time for a movie since Luke is really not in the mood to go out. They watch something stupid that Luke can’t really focus on because he’s too busy glancing over at Michael all the time, or thinking about how much he wants to kiss Michael or how much he  _loves_ Michael.

The thought of loving Michael is really upsetting to Luke because he’s met him less than a month ago and it took him about a split second to develop a painful crush on him. And then less than three weeks later he’s already completely in love with him and he feels pathetic and stupid. It’s even more painful because he’s a thousand percent sure that there’s no way Michael feels the same way about him.

Throughout the movie Luke keeps looking over at Michael who’s sitting _really_ close to him, pressing into his side. He looks at his hair that looks really soft and nice to touch and his white, clear skin and his personal favorite; their linked hands.

After about the second time they’ve held hands, Luke decided that it’s the most comforting feeling in the whole damn world, nothing would ever feel as safe or as nice as holding Michael’s hands. His fingers are smaller than Luke’s and they fit perfectly between his own, his skin is soft and he loves how every once in a while Michael would squeeze Luke’s hand a little, then look up at him and smile as if to make sure he’s still there.

After the movie Michael has to go to work and he suggests that maybe the guys would rest a little (since they’re all grossly hungover) and then catch up with Michael at Wonderland. Luke sees Michael out and earns a very long and sweet hug. He loves hugging Michael. He loves touching Michael. _He loves Michael_.

_Ugh, get a grip, Luke, you’re being totally pathetic._

When Michael’s gone Luke thinks he should maybe nap for a couple of hours but the second he tries to sneak upstairs, someone places their hand on his shoulder, making him stop.

“And just where do you think you’re going, Mr. Hemmings?” He sighs deeply, it was so stupid of him to think he could avoid this. Turning to face Ashton, he rolls his eyes.

“I wanted to nap.” He groans, shaking Ashton’s hand off and instead of going up and napping he finds himself back in the living room, sitting between his two very curious friends.

“Well, Lukey, are you going to open that blabbing mouth of yours and finally tell us what went on here earlier, or are you just going to sit there and shut up for the first time ever?” Calum lifts his eyebrow in Luke’s direction, clearly wanting him to finally say something.

“Ugh, has anyone ever told you how annoying you are, Cal?” Luke grumps, rolling his eyes and hiding his face in the heels of his palms.

“Why do we always have to force everything out of you, damn it?” Calum asks, not really expecting an answer. Ashton leans over Luke, hitting him in the back of the head.

“Be nice to him!” he scolds, always defending Luke when Calum’s being a dick.

“Fine, I’ll tell you. But after that you’re leaving me alone,” Luke sighs, giving up. Calum and Ashton both sit still when Luke (finally) opens his mouth to talk.

“I was helping him dye his hair in the shower and we were shirtless and we got hair dye all over ourselves, so Michael went into the shower to wash it off but he went in with his pants still on and then I went in with _my_ pants and we ended up naked,” he says quickly in one breath, pausing to fill up his lungs before going on.

“We helped wash the hair dye off each other’s back and chest and it felt like we were going to kiss again, but maybe I’m just imagining like before. And then I almost fell and he caught me and we were really close and he suggested that I shouldn’t fall for him and I said that maybe it’s too late, but we were being really vague, so I don’t know.”

Luke finishes, inhaling sharply. This is definitely the fastest and the most he’s ever spoken in his entire life. He left both of his friends with their mouths hanging open, staring at him, and for the first time ever- speechless. Luke is going to cherish this moment forever, the day they finally shut up.

“Luke, do you think you’re…in love with him?” Ashton is (as always, obviously) the first to speak, looking at Luke with a funny expression. He nods, bowing his head, they must think he’s really stupid and has no idea what he’s saying, he’s just a kid to them.

“I think I am. Go ahead, tell me I’m stupid,” He brings his knees to his chest and buries his face in them.

“You’re not stupid, Luke,” Calum hooks an arm around his waist, pulling him closer. “You really aren’t, we’re just surprised. I think this is the first time you’ve loved someone.” He explains as Ashton places a hand on Luke’s back, rubbing it slowly and comfortingly. Luke lets out a strangled sob. He’s always crying, what a baby.

“What am I supposed to do?” he chokes out.

“Hey, hey, listen to me,” Ashton says, his hand never stops moving on Luke’s back, calming him down. “You need to gather up the courage to tell him, you can do this. Michael is your friend and he cares about you, even if he doesn’t feel the same way about you, who says he’s not going to be your friend anymore?”

“Plus,” Calum says softly, squeezing Luke’s side. “Who says he’s going to reject you? Michael’s really mysterious about some things but I think it’s safe to say both Ashton and I agree that we’ve seen some signs. I think he might like you too.”

Luke’s head shoots up, looking between his friends with teary eyes.

“Really?” He asks and Ashton nods enthusiastically, letting Calum take over again.

“Yeah, you’re always holding hands and touching each other and we’ve seen the way he looks at you when you aren’t looking,” Calum’s smile widens, it’s a genuine smile, Luke can tell.

“He always looks at you with such fond, Luke. If he doesn’t like you then there sure is something wrong with that kid because he’s always staring and touching you, I think you should tell him.” he’s looking into Luke’s eyes, which proves him that he’s telling the truth and isn’t just being nice to cheer him up.

“So you really think I should tell him?” Luke sniffs, wiping the remains of tears under his eyes, looking between his friends. They both nod as they keep holding him and making him feel better. They decide to go nap for a couple of hours and then go to Wonderland to meet Michael.

***

“Luke, Lukey, Lucas, Luke, _LUKE_!” _Someone_ is loudly humming in his ear, waking him up from his peaceful and blissful nap that made his hangover almost-disappear. But now that specific _someone_ is starting to remind him why he craved that nap so bad in the first place.

Luke pries his eyes open and stares up at Calum, who’s sitting way too close to his face than he should, completely startling Luke and making him gasp.

“What the fuck, Cal?” he exclaims, pushing his heavy body off, sitting upright, leaning his back against the headboard, eyeing his friend.

“Get up and take a shower, we want to go!” He jumps up and down on Luke’s bed, making Luke jump with him, against his will, of course. He’s _not_ feeling very cheerful at the moment.

“Fine.” He groans, getting out of his perfectly comfortable and cozy bed and heading towards the bathroom. He spends a good twenty minutes under the warm water, thinking about what he’s going to do tonight; Is he going to tell Michael? How is he going to tell him? Should he kiss him? Should he even touch him at all, or just give him some space and time to think?

Luke’s mind is flooded with questions and thoughts and more than anything, nerves. He’s not sure what he should do or even if he should do anything at all, he knows Calum and Ashton disagree but he really feels like telling Michael how he really feels about them is going to damage their friendship. Who wants to be friends with the guy they rejected?

“Hey, Luke, did you drown in there, or what?” Ashton bangs on the door, making Luke jump a little, he forgot he is supposed to be getting ready to leave. He really doesn’t want to leave, he doesn’t know what he’s going to do when he sees Michael again.

“Yeah, I’ll be out in a minute.” He calls back, taking another two minutes to think under the water before getting out, wrapping a towel around himself and trying to dry his hair a little before heading back to his room. He’s greeted by his best friends sitting on the bed, fully dressed and completely ready to leave.

“Hey.” He says, walking past them to his closet, already debating on what he’s going to wear.

“What the hell took you so long?” Calum asks, watching Luke’s every move. He shrugs, pulling out his red and black flannel, examining it.

“I was thinking,” He says, throwing the shirt carelessly before digging through his closet some more, finding his ‘you complete mess’ tank top that he loves so much. But then again deciding it isn’t good enough, adding it to the now-growing pile of clothes on the floor with the red flannel.

“About Michael?” Ashton asks and Luke simply hums in reply, not wanting to give it too much thought again. Now he needs to fix his attention on looking good and there’s nothing in his closet that will do the job.

“Luke, sit down,” Calum orders, but it isn’t a demanding tone, it’s more of a worried one, so Luke gives him a questioning look before finally sitting down next to him on the bed.

“Maybe we should make a plan. For tonight, I mean.” He suggests, looking over at Ashton to make sure he’s on board with it too.

“A plan?” Luke isn’t too sure what he means by that and it kind of worries him, is Luke going to war or just to see one of his best friends? He’s confused about the way he’s feeling, about what he wants to do and say tonight and even what he’s going to wear, the last thing he needs is his friends bugging him about telling or not telling Michael.

“I don’t know, guys. I’m not sure I’m going through with this,” He says, meaning to get up, but Calum reaches for him before he gets the chance to.

“Luke.” His voice is stern and serious, he knows they’re worried about him. Unrightfully so, though.

“If you honestly don’t want to tell him, we won’t push you. But if you do, we want to make sure you don’t choke,” Ashton says softly, always the calmer one of the group, always reassuring and gentle, he’s like their older brother.

“I think I want to tell him, but I don’t know if I’m going to have the courage to,” Luke’s shoulders slump in defeat, he feels weak and small all of the sudden, very insecure and unsure of himself.

“I don’t know.”

“Look, what if you give it a couple of days? Sleep on it,” Ashton smiles at him, obviously trying to make him feel better and less nervous. “You don’t have to decide now, and you don’t owe us any explanations. You do whatever _you_ want to do. We’ll support you no matter what.” He squeezes Luke’s shoulder in reassurance.

“Right, Cal?” Luke sees the way Ashton’s eyes are practically screaming ‘agree with me or I’ll make you regret it’ at Calum and he sees Calum’s terrified look and he’s having trouble keeping his laughter in, Ashton is probably the only person in the world who can get Calum to shake like that, and it’s ironic since Ashton is the most gentle flower Luke knows.

“Ash’s right, we can’t and won’t push you. Whatever you want to do, we’re with you and we’ll help as much as we can,” Calum finally says and Luke nods.

“We love you a lot, Lukey. Yeah?” Calum grins, resting his head on Luke’s shoulder.

“I love you too, guys.” He smiles, he means it, he really loves his friends more than anything else.

“Are you going to help me pick out something to wear now, or are we just going to keep hugging like a bunch of idiots and waste our night?” he adds with a chuckles, making both Ashton and Calum attack him with tickles.

Eventually, the guys help him and they all decide that he should wear his ‘you complete mess’ tank top that he loves so much with the usual black skinny jeans and a pair of flip flops. He –typically- spends about twenty more minutes just on his hair, styling it in the usual quiff, making sure every single strand of hair is in place before Calum and Ashton basically drag him out of the house.

They get to Wonderland at about eleven o’clock and it’s already packed. They bump into sweaty and drunk bodies with every step they take, elbowing their way to the bar, to Michael.

Luke obviously spots him easily, his now blue hair shining bright under the blinding colorful lights. When Michael sees Luke, his whole face lights up. Luke swears his eyes get brighter and his smile widens as he abandons whatever liquor bottle he was holding so he can wave at him.

“Mikey!” Luke starts running as if they hadn’t seen each other just a couple of hours ago.

“Hey, babe. I’ve missed you,” Michael winks, reaching out from behind the bar and hugging Luke. They both don’t seem to care that there are a bunch of bottles jabbing into their chests and stomachs as they hug. Luke inhales deeply, taking in the Michael-scent he loves so dearly.

“Uhm, we’re here too.” Calum grumps from behind them and their hug is over as Michael reaches out, hugging both Ashton and Calum at the same time, squeezing their shoulders and laughing. God, he looks so cute when he laughs, Luke loves the way he laughs; he squints his eyes and his whole face just lights up and…Luke is grossly in love and it’s concerning.

“I need a drink,” Luke announces, flopping down on one of the stools, his friends following suit.  Michael eyes him, lifting an eyebrow, not giving him what he wants; alcohol.

“Are you sure, babe? You seemed to not be feeling the best when I left earlier,” Michael keeps calling him babe and he’s not sure he’s going to be able to take it for much longer, he’s pretty sure that someday Michael is going to do something, anything, and Luke’s heart is just going to stop beating, just like that, killing him right on spot.

“I need alcohol, Mikey. _Pleaseeeeee_ ,” He drags the word, batting his lashes in a plea, knowing Michael is going to give into that, he has to. Michael is still doubtful, glancing over to Ashton and Calum, like they’re his parents and he needs their permission.

“Fine, just _one_ beer, Luke. That’s all you’ll be getting from me tonight.” Michael says, popping open a green beer bottle, sliding it over to Luke who’s already reaching out for it, like a baby craving his milk.

“What about you guys?” Michael smiles to Ashton and Calum who are in the midst of having one of their silent conversations. It’s quite creepy sometimes, but maybe only when you’re looking from the side because sometimes he has those conversations with them too.

“I’ll have a beer too,” Calum says with a pleased smile while Ashton has a defeated expression all over his face.

“What’s the deal with him?” Michael jerks his chin in Ashton’s direction while opening the beer bottle for Calum.

“Ever since we lost Luke our first night here, we decided that we can’t all get drunk while we’re out, so one of us has to stay sober and keep an eye on the little dumbass,” Calum explains, taking a sip from his beer, seeming to long it just for Ashton’s benefit, taunting him.

“It’s Ash’s turn tonight.”

“Oh shut it, Cal!” Ashton rolls his eyes, spinning his stool away from Calum’s and closer to Luke’s.

“Can I just have a pop or something?” Ashton asks Michael, who nods and immediately bends down to the fridge, fishing him a bottle and handing it to him.

“Hey, Luke, can I ask you something?” Michael looks between Luke and his friends, hinting him that he wants some privacy.

“Yeah.” He says, leaning up from his seat so Michael can whisper. Michael leans forward as well, above the bar, placing his lips right next to Luke’s ear, sending shivers down Luke’s body, he’s trembling and all Michael is even doing is whispering in his ear. Luke is so doomed.

“I thought that maybe tomorrow you could come over to my place, since you’ve never actually been there?” Michael’s voice sounds so soft and sweet in Luke’s ear and waves of excitement rock through his body. Michael’s place seemed like a place Luke will only get to when Michael fully trusted him, and he’s starting to think that maybe the time has finally come.

“What do you think?” he asks and Luke can sense the smile on his face without even looking at it.

“Yeah, sure. That’d be cool, I’ve been really curious about your place,” He admits, giggling a little. Michael leans back now, so he can look at Luke before he says,

“Really?” his green orbs are wide and intrigued and maybe even a little excited.

“Yeah, I mean, I’ve been imagining what it’d look like, and now I’ll finally get to see it.” Luke’s cheeks heat up a little, he’s feeling kind of stupid for giving so much thought to Michael’s apartment.

“That’s cute,” Michael smirks, booping Luke’s nose, making the memories from this morning in the shower pop back into Luke’s mind and his heart instantly starts beating faster. They go back to their previous seats, Luke getting curious looks from both of his friends.

“What was that about?” Ashton whispers and Calum scoots closer, trying to listen from his seat far away next to Ashton while Michael’s talking to one of the other people sitting by the bar to their left.

“He wants me to come over tomorrow,” Luke explains with a proud smile, he doesn’t even know why he’s feeling so proud.

“That’s great!” Ashton lifts his hand up and Luke high fives him with a mocking smile.

“You’re such a nerd, Ash.” He rolls his eyes, grabbing his beer again, taking a long sip.

“Did you think more about telling him?” Ashton’s voice is just a little over a whisper, it makes it hard for Luke to hear over the music but he does, making his heart skip a beat.

“I don’t know, Ash,” He looks down, fiddling with his pinky ring.

“It’s okay, whenever you’re ready. Yeah?”

They sit at the bar and just drink and laugh with Michael for about an hour until Calum spots a girl he likes and then he’s gone. Luke spots him every once in a while on the dance floor, his body pressed close to the girl’s body and he smiles to himself, thinking how lucky Calum is for being able to just go for what he wants.

And then he gets an idea.

“Mikey?” he calls, setting his almost-empty beer bottle down on the bar with a small thud, looking up to meet Michael’s cheerful eyes that he loves so much.

“Yeah, babe?” he says while cleaning the counter with a yellow cloth.

“Let’s dance,” Luke surprise himself, Ashton and Michael by suggesting. Luke can dance when it’s jokingly and he’s being really bad at it on purpose, but when he’s actually supposed to dance with the music and he isn’t holding a guitar or something that hides him or takes the attention off of him, it seems pretty impossible. Plus, he isn’t even drunk, he’s only had one beer. He has no idea what’s going through his mind or what part of him thought this would be a good thing to do or even how he mustered the courage to ask Michael, but there’s no going back now.

“Yeah, sure!” Michael gets rid of the cloth, signaling Luke to wait as he disappears into the back room, probably getting someone to cover for him.

“What are you doing, Luke?” Ashton’s eyebrows are furrowed together and Luke shrugs.

“I actually have no idea.” He shakes his head at himself. “I just saw Cal there with that girl and…I don’t know.” He’s panicking now, he really can’t dance. He’s physically unable to dance without making a complete fool of himself.

“Well, you know what, just go with it. Okay? It isn’t that hard.” Ashton tries to smile and reassure him but Luke knows he’s just as worried as he is, he’s going to make himself the joke of the night. Why does he like to get himself into these fucked up situations?

“Ready to go?” Michael whispers by Luke’s ear from behind, scaring the living hell out of him as he lets out a surprised gasp.

“Damn it, Michael!” He spins in his stool to face him. “You fucking scared me.” He hits Michael’s chest, rolling his eyes as Michael stats laughing. How typical.

“Let’s go.” Michael calms down and links his fingers with Luke’s, waving goodbye at Ashton while pulling Luke with him to the center (of all places) of the dance floor, where everyone can see him fuck up.

“Uh, Michael?” Luke looks down at Michael, pulling at his hand a little, trying to get his attention.

“Yeah?” he grins at him, seeming to be very pleased with this whole dancing idea.

“I can’t…dance.” He admits, mumbling. Michael squints at him.

“So?” Luke looks up, confused as to why Michael is confused, and this whole situation is just… _confusing_.

“ _So,”_ he mocks the tone Michael used _._ “I’m going to embarrass myself and probably you too if I tried to dance.” Luke explains what he thinks is the obvious, but Michael still doesn’t seem very pleased with that.

“Do I look like a professional dancer to you, Lukey?” Michael chuckles and Luke rolls his eyes, sighing.

“You know that’s not what I mean,” He tries to pull his hand out of Michael’s, but he doesn’t let him, instead, he pulls him closer to him.

“Just go with the music, and me,” He says, spinning Luke around so his back is pressed to Michael’s chest, their hands still linked together.

“If you’re going to look like an idiot, then so will I.” he promises, whispering into Luke’s ear before he starts moving with the music, making Luke move with him.

At first Luke’s body is very stiff and he’s barely even moving. But the more Michael pushes him and makes him move from behind the more he loosens up and eventually he and Michael are jumping and swaying from side to side, arms everywhere as they just go with the music and Luke doesn’t feel so embarrassed or awkward anymore.

“This is fun! Right?” Michael yells over the music and Luke nods enthusiastically.

“Really fun!” he admits. He feels really hot and sweaty and his heart his beating fast and he’s short of breath, both because of the dancing and Michael, being this close to Michael drives him crazy. And then suddenly the song is over and there isn’t another one after it, and everyone is already complaining and looking over to the DJ station as he grabs the microphone and is about to say something.

“We have a couple who just got engaged tonight!” he shouts, making everyone applaud and shout with him. “So we got a special song request for them, it’s a slow song for all the lovers in here tonight, enjoy!” he says, setting the microphone down and Luke looks around, seeing how the dance floor clears out and people are pairing up, everyone finding his or her partner as a song Luke immediately recognizes starts playing; Kiss Me by Ed Sheeran.

He spots Calum and his lady-friend and smiles to himself as they dance closely and slowly with the music before Michael squeezes his arm, stealing his attention.

Michael spins Luke’s body so now he’s facing him again, and he’s got a soft little smile that makes Luke’s heart flutter. Michael takes Luke’s hand, the one he isn’t holding, and places it on Michael’s waist, and then places his own free hand on Luke’s waist, pulling him as closer to him as he can as they start moving from side to side with the music.

“And your heart’s against my chest, your lips pressed to my neck…” Michael sings in Luke’s ear as they slowly dance to the song, and Luke’s heart _is_ pressed against Michael’s chest, and it’s beating like crazy and Luke is sure Michael can feel it, but he doesn’t even care right now.

Their eyes never leave each other as they dance and Michael’s grip on Luke only seems to be tightening from second to second, from line to line, as he keeps quietly singing along to the song, his breath hitting Luke’s face and Luke is mesmerized. It feels like they’re all alone in a pitch dark room and all Luke can see is Michael’s face and all he can hear is the song playing in the background and Michael’s occasional singing.

 _“Kiss me, like you wanna be loved, you wanna be loved…”_ Michael sings and all of the sudden something clicks in Luke’s mind; _kiss me_. It reminds him of all the doubts he had today and all the things he considered saying to Michael and all of the sudden he’s thinking about kissing him, just kissing him. If that doesn’t say I like you then he doesn’t know what does.

He waits until the last verse and when the lyrics ‘kiss me’ sound again he rips his hands off Michael’s body, moving them up to cup his face, staring him dead in the eye before he takes one deep breath, pulling Michael’s face to his as now he’s the one singing along, singing the words ‘kiss me’ before crashing his lips onto Michael’s

And before any of them knows it, they’re kissing, the moment Luke had been dreaming of for the last couple of weeks is actually happening. At first, it’s stiff and their bodies are kind of frozen, it seems like they’ve both forgotten what it’s like to kiss someone. But then they both recover from the initial shock and their lips are moving fast and hard against each other and Michael’s hands find their way into Luke’s hair, pulling on it a bit.

Michael’s lips are so soft and they just feel so, _so_ nice against Luke’s, he never wants this moment to end.

But sadly, that’s when then the song ends and it’s quiet for a second, and then Michael pulls back, breaking the kiss. Luke’s hands are still on Michael’s cheeks and he feels how warm he is while they just stand there and stare at each other, none of them really knows what to do next.

Michael audibly gulps, backing away from Luke a little, making his hands drop from his face and Luke already knows that he’s not going to like this.

“I-this…I don’t…” he fumbles with his words, not seeming to be able to form what he’s thinking, and Luke can’t blame him, he isn’t doing any better. All he can think of is how nice Michael’s lips felt against his.

“I can’t do this, I’m really sorry, Luke.”

And then he’s gone, his blue head disappearing among all the other bodies that have gone back to dancing to the loud music. Luke is just standing there, completely frozen and unable to move, not sure what to do now.


	8. give me love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a mention of an emotionally abusive relationship, nothing is too detailed (and there's no rape or anything physical!!) but I thought I should let you know in case it was a problem for anyone.
> 
> Also, I would like to thank my friends Nana and Tara for helping me out a little with this chapter which is also the longest one so far, it has about 5.1K words!!
> 
> Have fun reading!

*******

The rest of the night after the kiss is nothing but a blur to Luke; he remembers everything, and he’s there, but it feels like he’s just watching from the side, looking down at himself. He doesn’t know how long he’d been standing there after Michael left him, but at some point Ashton finds him in the middle of the dance floor all by himself. He asks Luke something, but Luke honestly has no idea what he’s saying, he shakes him by the shoulders, but that doesn’t help either.

Eventually Ashton gives up on trying to get Luke to talk. So instead, he grabs his wrist, pulling Luke behind him until they spot Calum, who’s still dancing with his lady-friend, and Luke can see him and Ashton talking, probably about him, but once again he has no idea what they’re saying, maybe he’s gone deaf.

Calum and Ashton stop talking after a while and Luke finds himself walking back home with Calum who pulls him by the wrist, and he notices Ashton isn’t there, but even that’s not enough to get him to talk, he’s not sure he remembers how to. He knows Calum’s trying to talk to him, he sees the way he keeps looking over at him and he sees his lips moving from time to time, but he really can’t hear anything, maybe he really did go deaf, who knows? And who cares, either?

Not Luke, that’s for sure.

When the walk’s finally over, Luke finds himself stiffly sitting on the living room couch and he can’t see Calum, but he doesn’t quite look for him either, so he just sits there and stares into thin air like a fucking statue. He doesn’t know how long he just sits there but eventually he thinks he falls asleep because the room just goes dark.

He wakes up when his phone won’t quit buzzing in his pocket. He doesn’t even open his eyes and he doesn’t know what time it is but he can feel the sun hitting his eyes even when they’re closed so he knows it’s morning.

He decides to keep ignoring his phone and is just about to try to give sleep another chance when it buzzes again and Luke feels like his ears are smoking with anger, who the fuck is bothering him this early, when he’s on vacation and, on top of everything, is very upset.

His eyes dart open and his phone nearly slips out of his hand because he’s squeezing it so damn hard, he’s so, so furious. But then his screen lights up again and he sees he’s missed a bunch of texts from Michael and he’s legitimately confused for a second. Was last night just a really horrible nightmare? Did it not happen?

And then he starts reading the first text and he realizes that unfortunately, last night was not a dream.

**From: Mikey :-)**

[4:38AM] Luke, are you up?

[4:42AM] It’s really late, I’m sorry. You’re probably sleeping and maybe you’re ignoring me and I can’t really blame you

[5:57AM] I realize that what I did was awful, you don’t deserve that. Can we please talk?

[6:18AM] I can’t tell if you’re ignoring me or simply still asleep but it’s driving me crazy, I almost came over to the beach house a dozen times tonight

[8:49AM] I know you have no reason to, but maybe you could stop by my place today? Or I could come over to yours?

[8:51AM] I just want to talk and explain myself

[9:03AM] I won’t pressure you, but please try to come, okay? You don’t even have to call or text, just show up

[9:04AM] I’ll be here anyway

He sighs and his eyes are burning, he doesn’t want to cry but he knows he won’t be able to keep it in. He lets out a strangled sob, not sure what to do with himself now. He feels so many things at once it’s just overwhelming; he’s mostly embarrassed because he kissed Michael and got rejected and completely abandoned. He’s obviously sad because Michael did reject him and he’s one hundred percent sure Michael doesn’t want anything to do with him even though he said he wanted to talk, he’s probably just going to explain to Luke why they can’t be together and lastly, Luke is even a bit mad.

He’s mad at himself, at Michael and even at his friends for letting him kiss Michael even though deep down he knows they couldn’t really stop him or even know he was going to do that in the first place.

“Luke?” Ashton startles him, Luke didn’t even see him in the chair by the couch he was sleeping on.

“Did you sleep here?” Luke croaks, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion. Ashton nods, stretching his probably-sore limbs and Luke feels bad.

“You didn’t have to.”

“Luke, you scared the living hell out of us,” Ashton says, getting up and moving to sit next to Luke on the couch.

“What happened last night?” he asks, his eyes set on Luke’s, trying to find something in them, and that’s when he finally breaks. The tears start spilling out of his eyes uncontrollably and he sobs into Ashton’s chest as he’s whispering comforting words into his ear while rubbing his back. Luke just doesn’t seem to be able to stop crying, like all the crying he was supposed to do last night is catching up with him now.

Ashton calls for Calum and he’s there by Luke’s other side in less than a minute. Luke knows he just woke up and it warms his heart, knowing that he jumped out of bed just to make sure Luke is alright and it makes everything seem just a little bit less awful because he remembers that at least these two people are going to love him no matter what.

When he’s finally done crying he wipes under his eyes and sniffles one last time before clearing his throat and looking between his friends.

“I’m sorry.” His voice is weak and quiet but they hear him.

“Why the hell are you sorry, Luke?” Calum raises an eyebrow, his hand that’s still resting on Luke’s wrist is squeezing him a bit.

Luke shrugs, saying, “I don’t know, you guys barely slept last night because of me,” He plays with his pinkie ring. “And Ashton had to drag you out of Wonderland even though you were busy with a girl.”

“God, Luke.” Calum rolls his eyes, resting his head in Luke’s neck, his breath tickling. “You’re more important than any girl.” Calum squeezes him and Luke feels a pang in his chest, his friends are so important to him.

“Michael and I kissed last night.” He blurts without any warning, he’d been dying to let it out ever since Ashton woke up and now that he has he doesn’t quite feel better, but it feels like the thing that’s been weighting his chest just got a bit lighter.

Calum and Ashton are quiet for a moment, like they’re weighting their options and what they’re going to say next. Ashton is the first one to speak, as expected.

“Tell us what happened?” it isn’t really a question, but not a demand either. It’s more of a suggestion, like he’s letting Luke know they want to hear what happened but they aren’t going to pressure him. So he nods and sighs before he opens his mouth to speak.

“We were dancing and everything was great until they slowed things down. We were dancing really close and everything was perfect so I just kind of…grabbed him, and kissed him,” Luke doesn’t meet his friends’ eyes but he’s sure they’re shocked, they know Luke and this isn’t really a typical behavior of his.

“It was just…really amazing. But when the song ended he said he was sorry but he can’t do this and he left, he just left me there…” Luke chokes and his voice breaks. He feels like he might cry again. He’s so embarrassed and heartbroken and he doesn’t know if he should go see Michael today.

“And he texted me all night, he still wants me to come over. He wants to talk. And I just feel really stupid right now.” Luke shakes his head, playing with his ring again.

“We can’t tell you what to do, but I think we both agree that talking to him is a good idea, right, Ash?” Calum says and both he and Luke look at Ashton, waiting for his response.

He nods, still rubbing Luke’s back comfortingly. “I think you should go talk to him, maybe he was just surprised or has an explanation, you know? You shouldn’t just leave things like that, he clearly cares about you just as much as you care about him. Don’t waste it, yeah?”

Luke nods, sniffling again.

“I feel so fucking pathetic, guys.” He buries his face in his hands, letting a few more tears slip out of his eyes. He hears Calum sigh and then they’re both hugging him, holding him tight as he cries some more, letting all of his frustration out.

When he calms down Calum says that he’s going to make them all some breakfast while Ashton helps Luke upstairs and helps him get into the shower and get ready. He feels like a baby, his friends having to take care of him, but he’s feeling so drained and tired, but mostly grateful to have his two friends in his life, so he just goes with it.

He isn’t even hungry, but Calum and Ashton make him eat, insisting that it would make him feel better which is obviously not true, but he’s not in the mood for arguing so he just eats quietly until they decide it’s enough and Ashton cleans up the mess.

“Let us know when you want to leave.” Calum says on Luke’s left. Calum and Ashton already decided that they’re driving Luke to Michael’s, there’s no way they’re letting him get lost trying to get there and he’s not feeling well enough anyway so he didn’t even protest.

“Can we go now?”

Calum nods, grabbing the car keys and getting Ashton from the kitchen, and they’re on their way.

Ashton’s driving and Luke is sitting in the passenger’s seat while Calum sits in the back, going on and on about how he’s going to kill Michael if he hurts Luke and how they’re a phone call away and he better call them the second he feels like leaving and they’ll pick him up.

Luke doesn’t doubt that for a second.

The car pulls to a stop by an average looking apartment building that Luke notices is only about ten minutes away from Wonderland, which makes sense. He can’t bring himself to even touch the door handle and get out of the cart, so he’s just sitting there frozen, not sure what his next move is.

“I-I’m not sure I can do this.” Luke shivers at the thought of facing Michael. He’s not ready for Michael to explain how he only likes Luke as a friend and how he doesn’t even want to be that now that Luke made everything weird.

“We’re not going to force you, if you want we can just turn back now,” Ashton says softly and Luke thinks for a second before taking one deep breath and shaking his head.

“I need to do this.” He says bravely, meeting Ashton’s eyes. He nods in response, reaching out and pulling Luke into a hug.

“We love you, yeah?” Ashton squeezes him and a second later Calum joins and it’s an awkward embrace with Calum’s body half in the backseat but it doesn’t matter because it’s comforting and sweet.

“Don’t forget to let him know I’ll kick his sorry ass if he hurts you!” Calum shouts after Luke as he steps out of the car, giving his friends a last half-smile before slamming the door and walking to the building’s entrance with nothing but determination.

Luke climbs up the stairs to the fifth and last floor of the building and finds Michael’s door, which is easy because the wooden door is completely covered in band stickers and he just knows it couldn’t be anyone else’s apartment. Luke closes his eyes and takes one more deep breath; _you can do this_.

He knocks and immediately regrets it and thinks about turning around and running for his life, but he hears feet shuffle and a second later the lock clicks and the door opens and there’s no going back now.

Michael stands there in nothing but a pair of black sweatpants that are sitting so low on his waist Luke can see most of his grey boxers, his eyes look worn out and there are dark circles under them, on the perfect white skin, and Luke nearly starts crying again. Michael’s eyes light up all of the sudden, making him look like the Michael from yesterday, the Michael Luke hasn’t ruined.

“You came.” He breathes out and steps out of his apartment, wrapping his arms around Luke’s shoulders and pulling him into his chest. Luke doesn’t put his hands around Michael or react to the hug at all, he just stands there stupidly. But he can’t lie and say he didn’t need this hug from Michael or that the scent of him isn’t making Luke’s heart race, but he needs to have at least some dignity left, right?

“I’m…I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking.” Michael murmurs as he detaches himself from Luke like he didn’t even mean to do that.

“You said you wanted to talk?” Luke barely recognizes his own voice; it’s cold and low and Luke feels really mean and he isn’t even sure if he has the right to be mad at Michael since he did catch him off guard and kissed him, but he feels like Michael shouldn’t have left like that.

Michael’s face falls and he bows his head, looking down at his feet.

“Yeah, want to come in?” he jerks his chin in the direction of the door that’s slightly ajar behind him and Luke nods, walking past Michael inside.

Michael’s apartment is quite small, the kitchen and the living room are almost one room that is separated by an island with three stools resting by it, a hallway that leads to a bedroom on the left and a bathroom on the right, and right across from it there’s an extra room but the door is closed so Luke doesn’t know what’s in there.

The living room is a mess; there’s an empty pizza tray resting on the coffee table and the couch has about five blankets and three pillows on it and the TV is still on, but it’s dark and the blinds are closed so it’s the only source of light in the room, looks like Michael spent the night in the living room as well.

“Sit wherever you want,” Michael says, gesturing to the small living room and Luke picks the couch with the blankets on it, sitting down and looking up at Michael as he takes the chair next to the couch, facing Luke.

“So?” Luke asks with the same cold tone from earlier and Michael sighs.

“I have an explanation, it’s something I didn’t think I should tell you before, but now I regret not telling you.” Michael fiddles with his fingers, not meeting Luke’s gaze and he’s kind of glad he isn’t because Luke knows Michael’s eyes are irresistible and he’ll end up forgiving Michael before he even starts speaking.

“So, I briefly brought this up before, you might remember. Before Derek I had an ex that really fucked me up,” He starts and Luke already doesn’t like this story, he doesn’t want to talk about Derek or any other ex of Michael’s, he wants to talk about _them_. But he’s not going to interrupt Michael because he knows it’s something that Michael is hurting about until this day and frankly, Luke wants to listen. He loves Michael, both as a friend and as more than one and he cares about him, so he shuts up and lets him talk.

“I was sixteen and very confused and mostly clueless, he was nearly nineteen. His name was Jason and he was experienced and very manipulative. We met back at home and I immediately developed a crush on him. After a while we started talking and one thing led to the other and we got together.” Michael pauses, meeting Luke’s eyes just for a second before looking back down and continuing.

“At first, things were great. We would hang out almost every day and fool around, he’d take me out to meet his friends almost every night and we’d drink or smoke. I didn’t mind, I felt like a grown up, like a cool kid; sneaking out with my older boyfriend and doing ‘grown up things’.” He snorts then, like his young self is standing right there.

“One night we were drinking and I had too much, I was completely wasted and clearly wasn’t thinking straight. We were stumbling back to his car when he started kissing me and touching me. It wasn’t a big deal since we’d make out a lot and we’d do things…you know. But not all the way, never all the way, I didn’t feel ready.”

Michael sniffles and a tear escapes the corner of his right eye and Luke nearly lunges forward and pulls Michael into his arms, he wants to tell him it’s okay, but one thing Luke knows is how to be a good listener and he knows interrupting Michael won’t do any good, so he restrains himself, letting him go on.

“He pushed me to the back seat and it felt more serious than any other time we’d do something. He tried, he told me he wanted to and I refused, so he started yelling at me, telling me that if I didn’t do it with him he’d break up with me. I wanted to do it but I was scared, but I didn’t want him to break up with me either.

I told him I wasn’t going to so he threw me out of his car and I didn’t hear from him for a couple of months. When I did hear from him again, he wouldn’t stop calling and texting, saying he wants me back. I was tempted to take him a few times, I had no support system and didn’t know what to do. So I met him one time and he tried to apologize, I forgave him but a few days later he tried to pressure me into sleeping with him again so I ended things completely.

A few months later, when I turned seventeen, my mom found out that I was bisexual and had had a boyfriend I would do stupid things with, so she threw me out of the house. And then I came here, where I met Derek who was my rebound.

So I know this isn’t an excuse, but when you kissed me I got scared, I know you’re nothing like Jason or Derek and you care about me, but I’m scared to let someone in, so when you kissed me…I…I felt like I had to run away to protect myself. I’m scared I’ll hurt you and myself if I let you get too close, Luke. I don’t expect you to understand or even forgive me, but I just had to make sure you knew I didn’t reject you because I don’t like you.”

He’s done talking, Luke can tell because he’s looking at him like he’s waiting for a reaction, and Luke is quite speechless. What is he supposed to say? All he wants to do is hug Michael forever and let him know he’s loved and he didn’t deserve anything that happened to him.

“I-Michael…I’m sorry, I didn’t even know. I-“ He gets cut off when Michael drops onto his knees in front of Luke, wrapping his arms around his middle and crying into him. Luke is surprised for a second, but he immediately shakes it off, reaching out and hugging Michael back, pulling him as close as he possibly can in that weird position they fell into.

The silence is killing Luke, nothing but the sounds of Michael’s occasional sniffles and sobs can be heard and it’s physically hurting Luke to see Michael like this, he loves him too much.

After a while Michael calms down and his breathing evens, so he gets up and takes his previous seat on the chair, meeting Luke’s eyes.

“I don’t want you to think that I don’t like you _that way_. I do. But I’m scared, Luke. I’m really fucking scared.” Michael’s eyes are tired and drained and pained, but still beautiful. Always beautiful.

Luke’s about to open his mouth to respond when it hits him; Michael _does_ like him. Not that it matters because right now Luke needs to focus on making him feel better and making sure he’s okay, but fuck…Michael likes him back.

“I know it’s scary and I know being alone for so long can hurt and what happened to you…God, that Jason kid is a fucking asshole, I would totally kick him if I ever bumped into him. But you’re not alone anymore, you do have a support system. You have me, you’re one of my best friends. And you have Ashton and Calum too, they love you so much. We all do.”

Luke leans forward and grabs Michael’s hand like they’d done countless times before and Luke immediately relaxes, feeling just a little bit better. Michael does that to him.

“And the last thing I want to do is pressure you or stress you, but just so you know, I will never hurt you like that guy did, Michael. I would rather die than hurt you. So whenever you’re ready, if you would still want to, I will be here. I’ll wait, because I like you _that_ much.” Luke chooses his words carefully, not wanting to freak Michael out and admit he’s _in_ love with him because that would probably be too much.

They’re silent for a moment, Michael is just starting Luke right in the eye and Luke is really not sure what he’s thinking or where they’re going now, but then something changes in Michael’s eyes and he’s moving towards Luke, slowly and hesitantly. He reaches out and cups Luke’s face, not tearing his eyes away from him for a second. His thumbs are lightly stroking Luke’s cheeks and then he gives Luke a questioning look, like he’s asking for permission, so Luke simply nods, not wanting to speak.

And then Michael kisses him; it’s slow and gentle, like Michael’s not sure he’s allowed to fully kiss Luke and he’s very hesitant and careful as if he’s going to break Luke if he kisses him too hard. Their lips move perfectly together and it’s literally the worst moment for a kiss, but it still feels perfect. Michael is perfect.

“Mikey…” surprisingly enough, it’s Luke who breaks the kiss. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to. I’m not going to leave you because you don’t want to be with me, I’m still going to be your friend.” Luke grabs his hand again, lacing their fingers together.

Michael shakes his head in protest and says, “I don’t feel like I have to, Luke. I want to, I want _you_. It’s been so hard in the past few weeks, I liked you more and more each day and I felt like I couldn’t do anything about it. And I don’t want to ruin you, I _will_ ruin you.”

He leans closer and their noses brush and it’s sweet, the way Michael’s lips only lightly graze over Luke’s, just light little touches, before he leans back, squeezing Luke’s hand.

“You’re just so…so perfect.” He lifts their connected hands and flips them over so the back of Luke’s hand is facing him. Michael kisses Luke’s knuckles softly and Luke’s heart feels like it might explode any second now.

“You’re so sweet. Too sweet for your own good…” Michael mumbles against Luke’s knuckles as his lips keep brushing over them. “And you’re so goddamn beautiful. Those blue eyes of yours…and that smile.”

All of this feels like a dream to Luke. A fucking amazing one, that is. Michael is sitting there after admitting to like him and he keeps kissing him and touching him and pointing out all the things he likes about Luke and he’s so shocked, he wants to be with Michael and he wants to kiss him and hug him and everything, but he doesn’t want Michael to feel like he has to.

“I don’t deserve you, not even as a friend,” Michael keeps mumbling against Luke’s skin, sending shivers through his whole body, but Luke is hurting for Michael.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he nearly snatches his hand back, he doesn’t want Michael to ever think that. Michael looks at him, confused, head tilted to the side.

“Of course you ‘deserve me’ you deserve everything, Michael, you deserve happiness and love and people who care and love you. Don’t ever dare to say that again.” Luke’s free hand moves up to gently touch Michael’s cheek.

He’s got a sad smile on his face and his eyes are shiny with tears, so this time Luke tilts his head a little, like he’s the one asking for permission, he doesn’t want to be crossing any lines. So Michael grabs the hair on Luke’s back of the neck with his free hand and pulls him into him, their lips crashing against each other.

It starts out really gentle and sweet but about five minutes into the kiss Michael’s already got Luke pinned down on the couch, one of Michael’s hands resting near Luke’s head and the other still linked with Luke’s and Luke can feel that he’s trying really hard not to put his whole weight down on him but it’s silly because Luke isn’t going to break, so he lifts his legs up and clings onto Michael’s waist, catching him off guard and pulling him down.

He gasps in surprise, so Luke uses the opportunity to push his tongue into Michael’s gaped mouth and it’s almost too much for Luke; their tongues mixing and their lips never disconnecting and Michael is just _so_ fucking close to Luke and Luke is definitely turned on, which is exactly when he realizes he’s getting hard. His whole face heats up. He breaks the kiss, tilting his head so Michael’s lips slide to Luke’s cheek.

“What’s wrong?” Michael lifts an eyebrow and Luke catches a glimpse of fear in his eyes, he probably thinks he did something wrong.

“I-uh, I really gotta pee.” Luke’s face turns a very embarrassing shade of red, this is the best excuse he could come up with. Michael examines him and he’s silent for a second before he bursts out laughing, resting his head in Luke’s neck. Luke rolls his eyes, shoving him off and rushing to them bathroom, mumbling ‘you’re a dick’ after him.

He locks the door behind him, looking down at the bulge in his pants.

“Shit…” he lets his head hit the door behind him with a thud, he needs to be quick. He undoes his zipper and doesn’t even roll his pants down, he doesn’t have time for that, so he goes straight to business; pushing his hand into his boxers and quickly stroking his throbbing cock.

The thought of making out with Michael and the way his tongue felt against his is all Luke can think about, and obviously, what would have happened if he stayed there, maybe Luke would have had the courage to go all the way with Michael.

Luke’s eyes are screwed shut, his back flush against the door, using it to keep himself up as he twists his wrist, now stroking himself much faster. He’s breathing heavily like he’d been running a marathon and he’s panting and Michael’s name slips out his mouth once or twice along with a long list of profanities, he’s trying to stay quiet but he simply can’t.

And then he thinks about Michael being there with him, touching him, kissing him, moaning…and that’s what does it for Luke, he comes with a whimper, in his boxers, and he feels gross, but he couldn’t stand having Michael on top of him, feeling Luke getting hard so quickly.

He flushes the toilet and washes his hands, making sure he’s getting every bit of it off before he takes one deep breath, unlocking the door.

He nearly passes out when he bumps straight into Michael who’s standing right by the door, a smug smirk decorating his face.

 _Oh, Luke…you’re so fucking screwed_.

“W-were you listening to me pee?” Luke internally prays Michael hasn’t heard anything even though the smile on his face gives him away and Luke knows he’s never going to hear the last of it.

“Oh, is that what you were doing in there?” Michael chuckles, not taking his eyes off Luke’s reddening face for a split second, making him squirm.

“See, I was waiting for you to come back and I heard these weird… _panting_ noises, I thought something happened to you,” Michael starts, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

“So I came here to make sure you were okay, and then I heard my name, but it wasn’t a call for help…definitely not.” Michael’s grin only keeps growing wider as the story continues and Luke is already planning his escape.

“It’s cute, how you were trying to hide it,” Michael winks and if Luke’s face wasn’t the brightest shade of red already, it sure as hell is now. Michael takes a step towards Luke, leaning down so his lips are hanging right by Luke’s eat, he can feel Michael’s warm breath and it’s making his skin prickle with excitement and anticipation.

“You sound so fucking hot when you moan my name while taking care of yourself,” He pauses, biting Luke’s earlobe.

“I would give anything to be there and see your face, too.” Luke nearly swallows his own tongue. He gathers himself back together and pushes Michael back, walking past him back to the living room where he settles back on the couch where they were just making out ten minutes ago, grabbing the TV remote and flicking through the channels.

Michael joins him after a minute with yet another smug grin, taking the seat next to Luke, nuzzling up into his side and grabbing Luke’s hand, lacing their fingers together.

“Babe, next time…just tell me. I’ll be more than happy to help you take care of yourself.”


	9. touch me like you do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took me almost 3 weeks to update but I was experiencing severe writers block and it took me a while to get inspired, but I'm glad I took my time because this is an important chapter! It's also the longest one so far, a little over 7k words!!  
> Enjoy

*******

Luke and Michael spend the rest of the week in Luke’s bedroom; it seems like all they ever do these days is eat, sleep and make out (until Michael has to work, of course). And Luke isn’t complaining for a second, why would he complain? Being around Michael 24/7 is all Luke ever wanted and now he has it.

He has _Michael_.

It hasn’t quite sunk in yet that Luke and Michael are now a thing. No, they haven’t had that talk, the one that everyone hates, the ‘what are we’ talk, but Luke isn’t in a rush to have one of those either. Things are perfect, there’s no pressure and they’re taking things in their own pace, not rushing anywhere.

It’s Saturday afternoon and all they’ve done today was get up to get some late lunch (since they woke up late, _again_ ) and then went back to bed and made out until their lips hurt while mindlessly watching some stupid movie that neither one of them actually cares about.

Michael’s back is rested against the wooden headboard of Luke’s bed, and Luke is sitting between his legs, his back flush against Michael’s chest, as one of Michael’s hands is linked with Luke’s while the other is tangled in Luke’s messy bed-hair, sending shivers down his spine as they’re both watching the screen.

Luke will probably never be able to understand how Michael’s simple gestures, such as playing with his hair or just holding his hand, can drive him crazy so easily. But he can’t say he doesn’t like it or doesn’t want it because he’s pretty sure that if Michael ever stopped touching him altogether he’d simply start crying like the baby he really is deep down.

Luke is so clingy it’s simply disgusting, but Michael doesn’t seem to have a problem with that, quite the opposite actually. He seems to like the way he can make Luke all flustered and how he makes him stutter when Michael says or does something that catches him off guard, or how simple it is for Michael to make Luke moan when they’re making out a little or even when they’re sleeping and Michael gets up in the middle of the night to get something to drink or to use the bathroom, so naturally he has to untangle himself from Luke, which instantly makes him whine and stir in his sleep.

Things are going so well, Luke is happy and for all he knows Michael is too, they’re just really enjoying each other’s company and Luke loves having Michael around since he always gives Luke all the love and affection he needs because he’s an affection-sponge like that, always wanting and needing someone to hug and to hold hands with (and he absolutely _loves_ holding Michael’s hand), so you can say things are perfect.

That is until, as always, Luke has to open his huge, idiotic mouth and say something crazy stupid that would surely embarrass the shit out of both of them, that’s just the way Luke is, an awkward, filter-less moron.

“Mikey?” Luke fiddles with the hem of his own shirt nervously. He feels stupid for feeling nervous about talking to Michael because he’s never felt like he couldn’t talk to him about something, Michael’s so open and he never judges, even when Luke’s being really idiotic or embarrassing and says or asks really stupid things. But this is different somehow, since they’ve never had a ‘serious’ conversation about this and Luke needs to.

“Hmm?” Michael hums to let Luke know he’s listening, his eyes still fixed on the screen, still watching the movie that Luke completely forgot about, getting lost in his own thoughts.

“Can I ask you something?” there’s something weird and shaky about Luke’s voice, he can sense it to, and he mentally beats himself up for not being able to keep it stable because Michael’s eyes leave the screen and immediately shoot down to look at Luke, and even though he has his back to him, Luke knows he’s staring at the back of his head.

“What’s wrong?” Luke (sadly) disconnects himself from Michael, turning around so he can face him even though he really doesn’t want to because he’s sure he’s going to cave once he meets Michael’s eyes and he really doesn’t want to chicken out because he feels that with Michael’s past and all of Luke’s insecurities this is something they really should talk about.

“This is really embarrassing and I don’t know how to say it without sounding stupid and, well, like…me,” Luke laughs dryly, he feels like his throat is closing up on him and he feels even more stupid because he really isn’t supposed to be embarrassed, but he can’t control it.

“Luke, you’re starting to freak me out a little, did I do something?” Luke can practically sense the way Michael’s eyes are examining him, following his every move. Luke’s head whips up and he finally meets Michael’s beautiful eyes; there’s something sad in them, sad and concerned, and Luke feels awful because he just made Michael feel like he’s done something wrong and that’s the last thing Luke wanted because Michael has been absolutely _perfect_.

“God, no! You’ve been…great, really great, it’s not something either of us did, really,” Luke reassures him, reaching out and doing the one thing that always makes him feel better, he grabs Michael’s hand. Michael gives it a squeeze as he lets out a relieved, shaky, breath.

“You scared me for a second,” he chuckles, trying to catch Luke’s eye but Luke is doing everything in his power to avoid it again because his face is only getting redder by the second and he’s feeling really stupid right now.

“So, what is it?” Michael asks, clearly curious and slightly worried because Luke knows he’s being weird and he knows Michael can tell too.

“Promise you won’t laugh?” Luke bravely peeks at Michael, immediately regretting it because it’s making him feel even more nervous, which seemed absolutely impossible until five seconds ago, but now Luke audibly gulps, waiting for Michael to finally say something. He takes a couple more seconds to observe Luke, obviously confused, but then he just shrugs, squeezing Luke’s hand once more before saying,

“I won’t, I promise, Lukey.” Luke nods and opens his mouth to speak, but then closes it again because he’s not even sure how to say it even though he’s been rehearsing what he wants to say all day.

“Um, so basically, we’ve been you know…making out and fooling around and, _stuff_ , for like a week, and I wanted to ask you if you think that we could, like, you know…do something more than that?” Luke barely manages to say it, every word catching in his throat and barely leaving his lips, and he’s squeezing Michael’s hand real tight, he’s sure it’s hurting Michael but he feels like he’s about to get a shot and he needs to hold onto something as tight as he possibly can.

“I mean, you obviously don’t have to, I don’t want you to feel like you do,” Luke says, making it worse because he only then remembers Michael’s painful past, and maybe he doesn’t want to have sex with Luke, maybe he wants to wait and maybe he just wants to take things slow and Luke doesn’t want to pressure him for a second.

“And this is really stupid, I mean, who has a sex talk? God I’m an idiot.” Luke covers his face with his free hand, feeling like a deflated balloon.

“Hey, can you look at me, please?” Michael’s grip on Luke’s hand tightens as he keeps ducking his head in attempt to catch Luke’s eye. But Luke is horribly embarrassed and his cheeks are a ridiculous shade of scarlet and he’s just trying really hard not to get up and run away because he just feels really fucking stupid.

Who talks about having sex like that? Who has to have a conversation about it? Normal people don’t, but Luke isn’t _normal people_ , Luke is weird and awkward and of course, he had to bring it up and make a complete fucking fool of himself.

Michael huffs at Luke’s refusal to look up at meet his eyes so he reaches out with his free hand, placing his fingers under Luke’s chin and forcing his head up so Luke has no choice but to meet Michael’s beautiful, familiar eyes. To his surprise, he doesn’t find any amusement or mockery in them.

“I don’t feel pressured, and to be honest, I’m so relieved you brought that up,” Michael lets his hand drop from Luke’s face, resting it on their linked hands between them and slowly tracing shapes onto Luke’s skin, making it tingle.

“I want to, I really want to. And the reason I haven’t tried anything is because you know about my past, and I didn’t want _you_ to feel even slightly pressured, so I held back.” Now it’s Michael’s turn to look down and avoid Luke’s look.

Luke feels for Michael, he really does, it pains him to see him this upset and hurt. Luke fucking hates- no, scratch that, he _despises_ Michael’s ex boyfriend with burning passion, and he vows to never make Michael feel uncomfortable, he’d rather die.

_Always so fucking dramatic, Luke..._

“I never felt pressured, I want to be with you, really.” Luke blushes again, but this time it isn’t out of nerves or panic, it’s innocent and pure, because he’s thinking about doing everything for the first time with Michael, and it makes his stomach turn in the best possible way because he wants to, he really fucking wants to. He wants Michael, he wants to experience everything with Michael.

Michael’s whole face lights up at Luke’s last statement and Luke, in return, smiles shyly. Are they really going to do it?

Michael wastes no time in leaning into Luke and pressing their lips together. Even though it’s been a whole week of nothing but heated make out sessions everywhere around the beach house, Luke is still hit by a wave of butterflies every time he kisses, not to mention, _touches_ Michael, he drives him crazy.

It’s not too long before Luke’s back is pressed down to the mattress and Michael is straddling his waist and they’re licking into each other’s mouths, making each other moan in pleasure. Luke is already playing with the hem of Michael’s shirt, hinting that he wants it off, he wants to do something, when Michael breaks the kiss, sitting upright, still straddling Luke. He whines in protest, his bottom lip jutting out in a pout.

“What are you doing?” he looks up at the beautiful boy above him.

“Did you think we were going to have sex _right now_?” Michael lifts his eyebrow, and Luke is legitimately confused, didn’t they just have a whole –fucking embarrassing- conversation about this?

“Uh, no?” he tries and fails painfully.

“Babe, there’s no way your first time is going to be right here, right now.” Michael says, climbing off Luke. And he wouldn’t admit it out loud, not right now, anyway, but he wouldn’t mind it if Michael spent the rest of his life straddling Luke, even if they weren’t going to have sex right now.

“Mikey, I really don’t care when or where it is. I just care that it’s with you.” Luke admits and only then realizes how TV show-like that was of him, and he rolls his eyes, he can already feel the snarky comment and the laughter.

“Sap.” Is all he gets in return, and he’s very thankful for that.

“But seriously, I want your first time to be nice. It’s not that I think that it’s the big deal everyone makes it, yeah? But I want it to be a nice memory for you.” Michael grins sweetly, and Luke’s insides turn into goo, he’s so whipped. But then again, he remembers Michael’s past, and the reason Michael probably wants Luke’s first time to be perfect, it’s because he never got that perfect first time.

Luke lunges himself forward, tackling Michael so now he’s the one on his back and Luke’s whole weight is pressed against his chest, their faces inches away.

“Hi there,” Michael chuckles, but he doesn’t make any effort in pushing Luke off. Luke lowers his head and brushes his lips over Michael’s, one of his hands making its way up to his soft hair, pulling on it lightly. He knows Michael likes that.

“I know it won’t be your first time, and I know we can’t go back and fix it, but I want this to be nice for you too. It’s our first time _together_. It’s more important than losing your virginity,” Luke is being a sap again, but this time Michael doesn’t seem to care or even think about chuckling or making a funny comment. Luke can feel Michael’s heart beating against his own chest.

Michael lifts his head up from the mattress and kisses Luke’s lips softly. It isn’t rushed or heated like the previous kiss they shared, it’s slow and sweet and it’s their lips barely even touching but it still feels good. It always does.

“Hey, Luke?” Michael murmurs against Luke’s lips, making them curl up into a small smile.

“Yeah, Mikey?”

“I’m really happy I have you.”

***

Michael has to work that night, so Luke’s a bit disappointed when he untangles himself from the pile they both made on his bed, but he promises him that he’s going to come back after work with a surprise, so Luke keeps his complaints to himself.

***

“I miss him.” Luke mumbles for what must be the tenth time since Michael left, and he’s positive that Ashton and Calum are five seconds away from locking him outside. Calum rolls his eyes and throws his hands in the air in a defeated matter, while Ashton quietly huffs and Luke can’t help but laugh to himself a little, it’s funny how he manages to piss them off so easily.

“Go sniff your bed or something, don’t just sulk around or babble about Michael. We don’t wanna hear your gross couple-y bullshit,” Calum grumbles, fixing his eyes back on the screen even though they all know none of them is actually interested in the stupid, old TV show they’re watching because there’s nothing better.

“Go sniff your bed?” Ashton furrows his eyebrows in confusion and Calum snorts.

“Don’t you remember? When he told us his bed smells like him?” Calum asks and Ashton thinks for a second before he nods and Luke can’t help but giggle.

“Jealous?” he taunts, knowing Calum will probably explode. He’s obviously right since Calum whips his head in Luke’s direction, giving him a stern and almost painful look, a warning.

“You wanna fight, Luke?” both Luke and Ashton burst out laughing at that, they all know damn well Calum would never do anything to hurt Luke.

Calum and Ashton sometimes playfully wrestle with each other, and maybe there was that one time where they got into a serious fight and Calum punched Ashton’s shoulder, hard, and they ended up not speaking for a whole week, but Calum would _never_ do that to Luke, not even playfully. Somehow, Luke became the little baby of their group, the one everyone is extremely gentle with and the one they treat with kid gloves.

“I hate you guys, so much.” Calum covers his face with his hands, completely and utterly done with Luke and Ashton who just can’t seem to be able to stop laughing at Calum’s reaction. It’s always funny, how easy it is to get him all heated up but knowing he never actually is mad, and he doesn’t really mean what he says either.

“No, you don’t,” Luke murmurs with a fake pout, getting up and moving to where Calum’s sitting, plopping down on the couch as close to him as he possibly can, nuzzling up to his side, shoving his nose into his neck.

Calum can never say no to a cuddle, especially not one from Luke, who was crowed as _King of Cuddles_ years ago.

“I do, but I still want cuddles.” Calum chuckles, sneaking one arm around Luke, and opening the other, inviting Ashton to join. They all know he wants to.

“You’re an addict, you need help, Cal.” Ashton giggles as he joins the cuddle pile on the couch, hugging Calum’s other side. And that’s how they spend the rest of the night, waiting for Michael in a pile on the couch, occasionally watching whatever’s playing on TV, but mostly just talking and laughing about nothing in particular, or Ashton yelling something stupid in their ears just to mess with them.

Has Luke mentioned that he loves his annoying friends?

***

“Thank god you’re here! He wouldn’t shut the fuck up,” Calum clings to Michael’s side the second he opens the door for him, while Luke and Ashton watch them from the living room, extremely amused by the way Calum is squished against Michael’s side like a koala bear, and Michael is looking down at him, confused, but still laughing.

Michael shakes Calum off and walks straight to where Luke’s standing, hooking his fingers in his jeans loopholes, pulling him forward so their lips connect. One of Luke’s hands finds its natural place in Michael’s hair, pulling hard enough to provoke a throaty groan from him, but not hard enough to actually hurt him, and then other one lightly strokes Michael’s cheek, tracing slow circles over the soft skin.

“Gross,” Calum mutters, making Luke smirk into the kiss, and then Michael’s smiling too, and then they’re both giggling uncontrollably against each other’s lips and they break the kiss, but Michael still doesn’t let go of Luke altogether, his hands still linked with his loopholes so he can keep him close.

“Calum’s just jealous,” Luke ‘whispers’ to Michael, making sure they all hear him. Ashton can barely contain himself, laughing like a madman, leaning on Calum for support, while Calum pouts and tries to push him off.

“I’m not fucking jealous! I hate all of you!” he yells as he retreats to the kitchen, clearly wanting nothing to do with the three of them right now.

 _Messing with Calum is fun_ , Luke decides.

“Hey, Cal, don’t be such a baby, c’mon!” Ashton calls after him, following him to the kitchen, still giggling.

“Alone, _at last_.” Luke says dramatically, making Michael laugh and shake his head as he leans into Luke and pecks his lips again.

“How was work?” Luke asks, placing a hand on Michael’s chest and pushing him back a little so he can look at him. Michael shrugs.

“Boring. You’re more interesting than work,” His voice is low and deep and Luke can’t deny that it doesn’t sound really hot, but so does everything Michael says. Michael kisses him again, walking them backwards until Luke’s back hits the back of the couch and they nearly fall over. Luke takes the opportunity to break the kiss again.

“You said you had a surprise,” He grins, feeling like a little kid. Michael groans in protest, he just wants to kiss Luke and Luke keeps preventing him from doing that.

“We’re going to my place tonight,” Michael laces his fingers with Luke’s, smiling up at him. Luke loves it when they go over to Michael’s, because they get to be completely alone there, without having to hear Ashton and Calum arguing all the time and without them knocking on the door every ten minutes because they need their help settling an argument or because they’re bored and have nothing better to do but to annoy Michael and Luke.

Luke and Michael let Calum and Ashton know they’re leaving and Michael takes Luke to his place. Michael spends the entire ride talking about this girl at the bar who got really drunk and was left alone by her friends, and how he was worried about her and made her call for someone to pick her up. Luke just watches him, completely fascinated by every word that comes out of his mouth.

He _really_ loves Michael, and it scares him, because Michael might like him, but he probably doesn’t love him back.

When they reach Michael’s floor they stop and Michael turns to face Luke with a smirk.

“I need you to wait here for a sec.” he lets go of Luke’s hand and Luke is about to protest, he always needs to know everything and ask all these stupid and irritating questions, but Michael knows him already, so he doesn’t give him time to.

He hears Michael moving inside and then it sounds like Michael bumps into something because there’s a loud thump, followed by a string of curse words, and Luke giggles as quiet as he can, not wanting Michael to hear him. It takes a couple of minutes until the door opens slightly, not revealing anything but Michael’s blue hair as he slips outside.

“Close your eyes, and give me your hand,” He orders sweetly with a dorky smile, and Luke is about to open his mouth and tell Michael there’s no chance in hell he’s going to close his eyes and just walk after him without seeing where he’s going, but then he remembers that he didn’t want to be this person anymore, he wants to be more confident and more fun, and he wants to just be as open and confident as Michael is, and he trusts Michael, he really does.

So, why not?

He sighs dramatically, making Michael’s smile widen, before he closes his eyes and reaches out with both hands, waiting for Michael to take them. When he does, he starts walking, slowly, making sure he doesn’t run into something or doesn’t lead Luke into a door or a wall, being extremely careful.

It takes them about five minutes, but they finally reach their destination. Luke smells something, it smells a bit like burnt oil or maybe something fried? He’s not sure and he decides, once again, to just let it go and wait for it.

“Open them.” Luke can _hear_ the grin in Michael’s voice, so it makes him grin too as he finally opens his eyes.

Luke knows Michael not one for romantic gestures, so it surprises him when he finds himself in Michael’s kitchen; there are two lit candles on the kitchen island, and the lights are down so the candles are the only source of light in the room (although Luke would argue that Michael is a source of light as well), and typically, their romantic dinner is pizza.

It’s perfect.

“Mikey…” Luke’s voice trails off as he turns to face him, immediately throwing himself at him, pulling him close and pressing their lips together. They’re both giggling into the kiss and it’s all perfect; the dinner, Michael, the sloppy kiss.

Luke loves every second of it.

When they sit down to eat, Michael pulls the chair back for Luke, like a complete gentleman, and when Luke comments about it, Michael doesn’t fail to mutter a ‘shut up, I’m trying to be romantic here’ at Luke, making them both laugh.

If it were any other couple (are they a couple? Is he allowed to call them that?) this dinner would’ve gone a whole lot differently; it would take place in a serious, fancy and expensive restaurant, they would be all-dressed up, and it would all be very serious and different, and Luke is more than happy that it isn’t.

They’re sitting in the dimly lit kitchen, laughing over pizza and beer, making silly faces at each other. And when Michael’s finally done stuffing his face with pizza he creates shadow shapes with his hands; a very lame and sad looking chicken and a bird, that’s all he can do. So Luke shows him how to create a bunny, making Michael pout and argue that his animals were better.

“Am I a great _boyfriend_ or what?” Michael chuckles, taking a sip of his beer. Luke’s head snaps up to the word ‘boyfriend’ and he nearly chokes on his own beer. He’d been pondering about that all week, since they made up in Michael’s house, are they a couple now? Is Michael his boyfriend, and is Luke Michael’s? Is this just a brief summer fling or a long term relationship?

It’s been bothering Luke, all these questions floating around his head, but he’s been trying to push those thoughts away because he’s having so much fun and he doesn’t really need to label this thing they have, he wants to let it go and just enjoy his time with Michael, but that’s just who Luke is.

“I have a question,” Luke tests, not lifting his eyes up to meet Michael’s as he plays with the green label on his beer bottle.

“Yeah, what is it, babe?” There, _that_ nickname again. Luke is a total sucker for Michael calling him all these cute pet names; Lukey, princess, but his personal favorite is definitely babe.

“I’m sorry I’m always the buzz kill, but…I’m not sure how to say it, I was wondering, like, what…how do you…” Luke gets lost in his own question, feeling puzzled and only making the situation worse by the second, but what is he supposed to ask? ‘hey Michael, I was wondering, is it cool if I call you my boyfriend now?’ no, he’s definitely _not_ going to make himself look or sound even more like a fool than he already has made of himself.

“Just spit it out, c’mon. I know you can.” Michael encourages, smiling sweetly at Luke.

So he decides to take his advice and just _spit it out_ ; “Are we together now?” Luke looks up from his bottle to Michael and he just sits still, looking like he’s thinking, so Luke decides to give him a minute and not push it.

“Do you want us to be? I mean, I know you’ll have to leave eventually, but I guess that I don’t want to think about that right now. I want to be with you, I like you, Luke. A lot.” Now it’s Michael’s turn to look down and not meet Luke’s eyes even though he wishes he would, Michael’s eyes are always something Luke finds incredibly comforting.

“I want us to be, I like you too, a lot,” Luke gulps, he doesn’t just like him…he loves him. And it’s scary, really scary, because like Michael said, he’ll have to leave eventually.

“I want to be with you, and I want to spend all the time I have left here with you.” Luke adds, and at that Michael looks up, a small smile creeping onto his lips.

Michael doesn’t say anything, he simply gets up and hovers over Luke for a second, just looking down at him, before he pulls him up to his feet by the collar of his shirt, crashing their lips together. It’s a bit painful, but the whole situation is so heated neither of them cares at the moment. Michael slides his tongue over Luke’s bottom lip, wanting him to open his mouth so he can push it in, so Luke does, he’s not in the mood for teasing, he just wants to _feel_ Michael.

But then Michael breaks the kiss, both of them breathing heavily.

“Let’s go, _princess_.” Michael says with that smug look of his, and before Luke knows it he’s in Michael’s arms (as if he wasn’t already) and he’s being carried to Michael’s bedroom bridal-style. He throws his head back and giggles, enjoying every second of it.

“And you said _I_ was a sap,” Luke mocks, so Michael pretend-drops him, and he has a mini-heart attack, gasping in horror.

“Michael!” Luke playfully slaps his shoulder as they laughs their asses off until they finally reach Michael’s bedroom, and then there’s a change in the atmosphere; they’re not laughing anymore, just looking at each other.

Michael lays look down on the bed, gently, like he might break, placing each of his hands on either side of Luke’s head before leaning down and connecting their lips again. This time, it’s slower, and gentle, unlike their kiss in the kitchen. They’re just taking it slow, barely a brush of their lips, slowly building up a pace. Michael leans up, getting rid of his shirt. Luke decides that since he has absolutely no experience in this, he’ll just follow Michael, so he does the same, taking his shirt off.

Michael lens back down and moves to kiss Luke’s jaw, leaving small and sweet kisses all over it before he moves further down to kiss his neck, deciding that he really likes Luke’s Adam’s apple. He starts by kissing it gently, then he’s kitten-licking it and before Luke knows it, Michael’s sucking on it, hard, making Luke arch his back up and moan.

“ _God_. That feels really n-nice.” He croaks out, and he can _feel_ Michael’s lips curling into a smile against his skin. When he’s done abusing Luke’s Adam’s apple, he keeps moving down, leaving kisses all over Luke’s collar bones, chest, belly, and then he reaches his waistline and stops there, peeking up at Luke like he’s waiting for permission.

“What?” he asks, tilting his head to the side a little in confusion.

“Do you want to do this?” Michael asks. For a second there Luke’s sure he’s joking, but then he examines Michael’s expression, and it’s a serious one.

“You don’t have to, you can always say no and we’ll stop.” Michael adds when Luke stays quiet.

“No!” he protests. “I want this, I want _you_.” Luke practically whines, sounding desperate, but he doesn’t even care.

Michael nods, flashing that familiar smile Luke loves so much before he dives right in, quickly and skillfully undoing Luke’s pants, and in one swift move both his skinny jeans and boxers are off and left abandoned on the floor.

Usually, Luke is really not shy and is never bothered by being naked, hell, Michael’s already seen him fully naked that one time in Luke’s room, or that other time in the shower. But right now, he’s feeling extremely insecure, and it isn’t Michael’s fault, it’s just this whole situation…it’s so new. He was never fully naked and splayed across someone’s bed for them to just look at, and he’s never wanted someone to touch him so badly like he wants Michael to in this moment, so he decides to tell him.

“Can you please do _something_?” he practically begs, snapping Michael out of his daze.

“Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?” Michael leans down, placing kisses all over Luke’s long legs, moving up to his thighs and then his hipbones, driving Luke crazy.

“Has anyone ever told you how much of a tease _you_ are?” Luke mumbles in his blissful state, having Michael touch him all over like that is definitely doing things to him.

“Hm, did you want me to do something, _princess_?” Michael says against Luke’s hip, the vibration rocking through his entire body.

“Anything, anything would be great right now.” he squirms, his eyes closing as he tries really hard to stop moving, but he can’t.

“Anything? My, that’s quite general. Don’t you think?” he keeps joking and Luke doesn’t know how much longer he’s going to be able to take that.

So he reaches down, pulling Michael’s hair, signaling that he wants him to move up. When he does, Luke pulls him down, deciding to take matters into his own hands.

Literally; He reaches down while they’re kissing, and palms Michael through his jeans, provoking a surprised gasp from the older boy. He breaks the kiss, smirking down at Luke.

“For someone who’s never done this before, you seem to have an idea of how this works.” Michael winks and Luke groans, rolling his eyes. Michael chuckles and dives back down, pressing his lips to Luke’s, licking into his mouth eagerly.

And then Michael does something magical with his hips, grinding down against Luke, and Michael’s covered cock slides against Luke’s exposed one and Luke’s head rolls back and he moans.

“Do-do that again. _Please_ ,” Michael is smirking down at him, but he still obliges, sliding his hips against Luke’s, giving him the much needed friction.

“’m going to take my pants off, hang on.” He sits back on his heels so he’s completely stopped touching Luke, and that’s something he never wanted to happen, so he whines and pouts like an idiot.

“Would you hurry, _please_?” but Michael simply giggles at that, quickly getting rid of the rest of his clothes while shaking his head.

“Can I try something?” Michael’s voice is barely above a whisper, he’s looking down at Luke with such a look that Luke can’t even think about saying no, so he nods ecstatically, waiting for Michael to do something already.

“Close your eyes for me.” Luke doesn’t hesitate to do as he’s told.

He hears Michael move, and then there’s warm and familiar lips pressing to his stomach. Michael finds a spot he likes and bites it, without any warning, making Luke jolt and arch his back, but he keeps his eyes closed. He can feel Michael’s lips curling into a smile against his skin as he sucks on the spot he just bit, surely leaving a mark. And Luke is actually glad that Michael is going to leave a mark, he wants everyone to know he is Michael’s, and Michael is his.

Michael leaves a couple of love-bites all over Luke’s stomach, chest and hips before Luke feels his mouth hovering over where he wants and needs him the most. His breath hitches as he waits for Michael to finally touch him there.

And then he surprises Luke again by leaning down and taking the tip of Luke’s cock into his mouth. This time, Luke’s eyes fly open and he gasps, looking down at the beautiful boy between his legs, slowly taking more and more of his throbbing cock into his mouth. Luke is sure he’s going to lose his fucking mind. When Michael’s nose bumps against Luke’s pelvic bone he drags his lips upward, taking them completely off of Luke with a pop.

“How did that feel?” he lifts an eyebrow as he smirks smugly up at Luke who’s stuggling to keep breathing at the moment.

“Please…do that again,” Luke’s voice is raspy and deep and the way Michael looks at him from between his spread legs is only turning him on, that fake-innocent look he’s giving him.

“I’m going to make you feel _so_ good, babe.” He says and wastes no time as his lips find Luke’s cock again, taking him in all the way quickly, not being gentle about it anymore. He bobs his head up and down Luke’s length and every time he does, the head of Luke’s cock hits Michael’s throat and Luke can’t explain it, but it feels so fucking good. Michael turns him into a whimpering mess in less than five minutes.

Luke’s head is rolled back into the pillows, his eyes screwed shut as he doesn’t even bother trying keeping his moans quiet, he’s practically yelling Michael’s name and everything just feels so fucking amazing; Michael’s skillful moves on his cock with his lips, the hand he keeps on Luke’s thigh to keep him pinned down is squeezing him and somehow even that feels amazing, and every time Michael moans Luke feels it, everywhere, and it’s all too much.

He tugs on Michael’s hair, trying to catch his attention.

“I’m going to come. M-Mikey…” he tries, but the older boy refuses to pull off of Luke, and Luke tries, but he can’t stop himself, so he comes in Michael’s mouth, and Michael doesn’t even seem bothered. He’s humming against Luke’s length, swallowing every last bit of it, slowly licking around Luke’s cock until he’s too sensitive, and he pulls off.

“Did you like that?” Michael asks, and at first Luke’s certain he’s joking, but then he opens his eyes and finds Michael’s and he’s dead serious.

“I think it was pretty obvious that I fucking _loved_ that.” Luke breaths, fumbling around the sheets to find Michael’s hand and links it with his.

“Your turn?” Luke asks after his breathing finally evens and he stops shivering, looking at Michael sheepishly. Luke wants to return the favor and suck Michael off, but he’s pretty confident Michael wouldn’t want someone like Luke, who’s never even touched anyone else’s dick but his own, to go near him. But as usual, Michael’s always full of surprises.

“You’d want that?” he furrows his eyebrows in disbelief and surprise. Luke nods, squeezing Michael’s hand.

“I’ve never done that before, though. So it’s okay if you didn’t want me to-“ He gets cut off by Michael’s lips on his own, not letting him finish his sentence.

“How else are you going to learn?” he winks before placing a small kiss to the tip of Luke’s nose.

“Don’t feel like you have to do anything, take as much of it as you can and don’t push it too hard,” Michael instructs as Luke crawls over to sit between Michael’s legs.

“Just take as much of it as you can in your mouth and use your hand to cover the rest.” He adds, and Luke is just lowering his head down to finally press his lips to Michael’s cock, something he’d secretly wanted to do all night when Michael stops him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“I’m going to like it anyway, yeah?” he grins down at Luke like the total dork he is, and Luke nods and leans up to connect his lips with Michael’s. They kiss for a minute until Luke gets too eager, breaking the kiss and settling down between Michael’s legs again, more than ready to start.

So he does; he finally wraps his mouth around the head of Michael’s cock, sucking on it hard, not giving Michael even a second to prepare himself.

“Shit.” He hisses, throwing his head back and hitting it on the wooden headboard of his bed. Luke smiles around Michael, lowering his head and taking Michael in inch by inch, until he feels like he can’t anymore, so he peeks up, giving Michael a questioning look.

“J-just use your hand for the rest of it,” He barely mumbles, his breathing already uneven as Luke complies, using his right hand to cover the untouched space between his mouth and the end of Michael’s cock. He bobs his head up and down and jerks his wrist up and down Michael at the same time, building up the rhythm.

“Fuck…babe that feels really great.” Michael mumbles, his hands tangling themselves in Luke’s messy hair. Luke is getting really cocky and smug, thinking he’s got the idea of sucking dicks, until Michael’s body jerks up a little, careful not to choke Luke, and Michael hisses, this time it sounds like pain not pleasure.

Luke gets so scared he pulls off completely, looking up at Michael apologetically.

“Fuck, did I hurt you? I’m so sorry, I really didn’t mean to, I thought I was doing okay and-“ Michael cuts him off by waving his hands up, flashing Luke a familiar smile so he sees he’s alright.

“Just watch your teeth, yeah?” he chuckles, lifting his hand up to stoke Luke’s cheek. “It’s okay if you got tired, I can finish myself off.” He adds, his hand already halfway to his own cock, but Luke’s slaps it away.

“No, I’m going to make you come.” He says with such determination he doesn’t even have time to blush at the sudden wave of courage that hits him.

He wraps his mouth around Michael’s cock once more, this time not wasting any second and already sucking hard and fast, his hand moving at the fastest pace he can manage. He gets tired quickly, his jaw starting to hurt and his wrist feeling tired. But the soft whimpers and moans of Luke’s names that are leaving Michael’s mouth are so satisfying he doesn’t even care.

After a while Michael’s hips jerk up, and again, he’s trying real hard not to thrust into Luke’s mouth so he doesn’t choke him.

“I’m-I’m really close, babe. You should pull off.” But Luke doesn’t listen, he wants to make Michael come and he wants to swallow it, just like Michael did for him.

Michael finally breaks when Luke swirls his tongue over the head and Michael’s whole body tenses up and he gives one last shout of Luke’s name, and he’s coming. Luke tries to swallow, he really does, but he kind of chokes trying to, so he has to pull off, and the rest of Michael’s come hits his cheek and then his chest.

Luke’s body collapses by Michael’s side, both of them breathing heavily, gasping for air. Luke’s whole body feels like jelly and he’s one hundred percent sure that if he tried to get up right now he’s simply fall, so he lets go of the idea of getting up and getting himself cleaned up.

After a couple of minutes Michael leaves the bed without saying a word, Luke too tired to even ask. But a minute later he’s back with a wet towel and he’s cleaning Luke, getting rid of every bit of come he might have left on him.

Michael gets rid of the towel and climbs back into bed with Luke, Luke immediately cuddling up to his side, resting his head on Michael’s chest, listening to his heart beat.

“Did you like that? Was that a good first time?” Michael asks and Luke can feel the vibrations on his ear and cheek and it makes him smile a little.

“I loved that. You were perfect, Mikey.” He says before tilting his head a little so he can place a soft kiss to Michael’s chest. Michael lifts their joints hands up, kissing Luke’s knuckles softly and lovingly.

“You were perfect too. That was definitely the best first time I’ve ever had with anyone.” And Luke can’t help but grin against Michael’s skin because that’s all he wanted, to be with Michael and to make him happy.

He falls asleep with a huge smile spread over his face that night, holding Michael as close as he possibly can.


	10. everything is blue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry (again) because it took me so long to post, but I was dealing with severe writer's block. But the inspiration is back!  
> Someone on tumblr suggested that I'd write a chapter from Michael's point of view, and I decided this chapter is the one, so have fun and let me know what you think once you're done!
> 
> ****

*******

_Michael’s point of view_

After that night with Luke, it seems like they just can’t keep their hands off each other. Michael finds himself touching Luke more than he’s doing anything else, and he isn’t complaining, yeah? He likes it, he likes Luke, they’re having fun.

Ever since that first night he saw Luke in Wonderland he couldn’t stop thinking about him, so going from that to actually being with Luke is…amazing? Shocking? Michael’s not sure what’s the best word to describe it, he was never that great at wording what he’s feeling or thinking, but he’s sure he loves every second of it.

Every second of _Luke_ , of touching him, of looking at him, everything.

Another thing Michael really loves is getting Luke all flustered and in severe lack of words, like the other day at the beach; Michael and Luke were kissing and fooling around in the water, in that part of the beach no one ever goes to except for them, and all of the sudden, as they’re kissing in the water, Michael reaches down into Luke’s swimsuit and starts stroking Luke’s cock. If Michael wasn’t holding Luke, he would have definitely drowned.

At first, he yelled and freaked out saying this is a public place and someone can pass by any second and see them, but after a lot of convincing he realized it’s stupid because no one ever goes there and they’re in the water so even if someone did end up walking there, they wouldn’t be able to see them.

Not only had Michael finished Luke off, Luke got so excited he returned the favor for Michael.

And now, a week after the night they shared in Michael’s apartment, Michael finds himself squished between Ashton and Calum on their couch at the beach house, with Luke snuggled in his lap, his nose poking Michael’s neck and his warm breath tickling him, but he doesn’t mind it. He loves having Luke so close and he loves his new best friends and he’s just loving everything right now, life’s great.

And then realizes that soon enough they’ll have to leave and he doesn’t know what he’s going to do when they do. Sure, they can text and call and Skype, but it’s not the same as having them here. What is he going to do when he can’t touch Luke anymore? What is he going to do without kissing Luke whenever he feels like it? Without hugging him or just sitting on the couch like they are now, not doing anything in particular but it still feels like a lot?

So instead of thinking about that, he fixes his eyes back on the screen as they all watch a stupid cooking show Ashton insisted on putting on, and he tightens his hold on Luke’s middle, pulling him even closer and burying his nose in his hair, taking in the familiar scent of a little bit of salt, Luke’s shampoo and just _his_ scent, it’s a scent Michael can’t really describe, but it’s just Luke.

Luke senses the change in Michael’s position, so he stirs a little in his lap, readjusting himself before lifting his head up to look into Michael’s eyes, flashing him a huge smile before leaning up a bit, using Michael’s thighs for support as he brushes his lips softly against Michael’s.

 “If you’re going to start humping each other, take it the fuck upstairs. I never ordered live gay porn in my fucking living room,” Calum growls to their left, making the three other boys laugh.

“It’s not even _your_ living room, Cal.” Ashton reminds him, earning himself a stern look from the now very-angry-looking Calum.

“Does it matter? Do you _really_ want them to start fucking right here, right now?” he lifts an eyebrow and huffs, but it doesn’t faze Ashton. He simply rolls his eyes and turns his head back to the TV.

When the show’s over and Michael is just about to get up, Ashton places a hand on his shoulder, jerking his chin down in Luke’s direction. So Michael follows his eyes, looking down and finding Luke sound asleep in his lap, looking like an angel with his eyes closed and his breathing even, his soft lips parted just a bit and he’s all curled up into Michael’s chest, fisting a bit of Michael’s shirt as he’s peacefully sleeping.

Michael grins and leans down before he presses his lips to Luke’s forehead. “I’ll put him in bed.” He whispers, and Ashton nods.

“Are you staying the night? He’ll probably want you here when he wakes up tomorrow. He always does.” He whispers back and Michael nods.

“I’m not going anywhere.” He says, but it’s more to himself and Luke than to Ashton or anyone else.

***

“Can I ask you something?” Luke asks when they’re both awake the next morning, mindlessly playing with Michael’s shirt.

“Hm.” Michael hums so Luke knows he’s listening.

“Do you ever think about what we’re going to do when I have to leave?” he doesn’t look up to meet Michael’s eyes, but Michael already knows what he’d find in them if he did, and it upsets him.

“All the time,” Michael’s voice is just above a whisper as he pushes his fingers into Luke’s hair, playing with it just so he’ll have something to do with his hands.

“Do you?” he adds, noticing the change in Luke’s posture when he does, his body stiffens and he seems…uncomfortable, even.

“I do, but I don’t want to,” He admits, his head dropping to rest of Michael’s stomach. “Do you think we can make it work?” he asks again. “Do you _want_ to?” he then adds, making Michael’s heart do a little flip in his chest.

“ _Luke_ , of course I do.” He puts an emphasis on Luke’s name, he can’t help but feel just a little bit hurt by that question. Why does Luke always feel like this relationship is one-sided? He doesn’t want Luke to ever feel that way, he likes Luke, a lot. He might even have more intense feelings towards him, but he really doesn’t want to admit that.

Michael knows how fucking stupid it is and how bad it sounds, but his past is preventing him from admitting to Luke, or even to himself, how he really feels towards him. He knows he likes him, but he can’t bring himself to say or even think about something more than that, the whole idea of love really scares the fuck out of him. The last time he thought he loved someone, it turned out to be the worst and biggest mistake he’s ever made in his entire fucking life.

“This relationship is not one-sided, I like you. I like you so much, babe. Please don’t doubt that.” Michael says, brushing a strand of blond hair out of Luke’s eyes as he looks up and smiles at him, god, Luke is driving him crazy. So he leans down and presses his lips to Luke’s forehead, making Luke smile against the soft skin of Michael’s stomach while Luke is still fiddling with the hem of Michael’s shirt.

They’re both startled when there’s a loud bang on the door.

“Can I come in or are you guys fucking?” Calum yells from the other side, making both Luke and Michael burst out in laughter, but then Michael shushes Luke, placing a hand on his mouth and winking.

“Oh, fuck, Luke! That feels _sooooo_ good!” He raises his voice on purpose, his hand still resting on Luke’s mouth knowing he would start laughing any second now as his eyes widen in shock and then in amusement.

“Oh god, you guys are disgusting!” Calum shouts, banging on the door again. “I don’t get gay sex…” He mumbles as they hear his feet shuffle away from Luke’s room.

Michael laughs and leans down to press his lips to Luke’s.

“He’s so scared of anything gay it’s actually ridiculous,” He giggles against Luke’s lips, slightly brushing over each other.

“He’s an idiot,” Luke lifts his head up and kissing Michael again. “Let’s see what the idiot wanted.” He says and Michael nods as they walk out of Luke’s room hand in hand.

***

Later that night, Michael has to work, so Luke decides to tag along since he doesn’t want to leave Michael, which is understandable because Michael had actually wanted to ask Luke to come with him and keep him company until his shift ends, and then they could crash at Michael’s for the night.

“You’re really cute when you’re blushing, that’s all I’m saying!” Michael raises his hands in a defensive manner as he watches Luke who’s leaning his elbows on the bar, watching Michael stirring drinks and serving them with a cute little grin. Michael loves when Luke looks at him like that, like he’s not a complete loser, like he’s not going to be twenty in a few months and all he’s accomplished in life is this job as a bartender in some lame-ass bar. Luke makes him feel like he matters.

“Is that why you always insist on embarrassing me?” Luke raises an eyebrow, fighting a smirk that’s making its way to his lips. Michael shrugs with a chuckle.

“It’s hilarious when we’re all alone and I reach down to touch your dick and you get all flustered, you’re adorable.” Michael boops Luke’s nose, and as if on cue, Luke’s cheeks turn an impressive shade of red.

“I just did it again,” Michael winks. “Without even touching you.” He adds before he bursts into laughter, drawing a few curious eyes in their direction.

“I can’t control it!” Luke yells before he leans up, playfully smacking Michael’s arm as he keeps laughing, not being able to stop at this point, Luke is just so cute. “I’m always the ‘adorable one’.” He huffs, sitting his ass back down on the stool and crossing his arms over his chest, pouting. And he looks adorable, again, but Michael isn’t going to say it now that he’s upset over it. And that’s when Michael gets an idea.

“I’m going to take a break, wait here, babe.” Michael presses a kiss to Luke’s cheek as he runs to the back room, leaving his boyfriend confused behind.

When Michael’s back he silently grabs Luke’s hand, lacing their fingers together as he pulls his after him, Michael elbowing their way through the crowds until he finally spots their destination; the men’s room.

Luke plants his feet in the ground, pulling Michael closer so he can talk into his ear.

“Why are we going to the bathroom?” he lifts his eyebrow and Michael smirks, finding Luke’s ear and giving the lobe a gentle bite.

“We’re going to have some fun, babe.” Is all he says (as seductively as he can muster) before he’s tugging on Luke’s arm again, making their way to the bathroom.

There’s only one guy in there, so Michael decides he doesn’t care and he pushes Luke against the wall, crashing his own lips onto Luke’s, surprising him as his back hits the wall, hard, and then they’re disconnecting themselves from the blasting music outside, from the guy who’s still standing there, washing his hands, and it’s just Michael and Luke. And even though it’s in Wonderland’s gross bathroom, it’s somehow perfect, or at least that’s how it feels to Michael because Luke’s there and Luke is all he really wants.

Michael bites Luke’s swollen bottom lip before turning around to find the guy gone. He grins to himself, pleased, as he grabs Luke’s wrist and pushes him into the last stall, making sure he locks the door after them before pushing Luke against it.

If Michael’s being completely honest, he would fuck Luke, _properly_ , right there and then. But they’ve never done that before, not to mention that Luke’s never done that before, and he isn’t planning on Luke’s first time being fucked to be in a nasty bathroom stall, so he settles for giving him a blowjob for now.

Luke seems pretty breathless, his back pressed flush against the blue door, his head almost peeking out of the stall, he’s so fucking tall. Michael just stands there and looks Luke over, he’s so broad and beautiful, just standing there with wide eyes, waiting for Michael to do something. Michael thinks he looks really innocent and sweet, but the whole point of this blowjob in the middle of a bar was to get Luke’s mind off the ‘adorable’ idea.

So Michael takes one more second to smile to himself, cherishing every second with Luke.

And then he moves forward, grabbing Luke’s soft hair and pulling him into what must be the most heated kiss they’d ever shared. Michael’s eagerly licking into Luke’s hot mouth, exploring every inch of it while he’s tugging on Luke’s hair, which makes him growl in pleasure. Michael reaches down and finds Luke’s hand, pulling it up near their heads and lacing their fingers together, holding them there.

Michael decides it’s time to drive Luke completely crazy, so he presses himself as close to Luke’s body as he possibly can, using his other hand on Luke’s shoulder for support and grinding himself down a little, the friction making Luke moan loudly, squeezing Michael’s hand.

“Fuck.” He blurts out lowly, apparently he doesn’t really care if there’s someone right out their stall who can hear them. And Michael thinks it’s great, because he doesn’t give a fuck either.

“’m gonna make you feel so fucking good, babe.” Michael mumbles with his lips attached to Luke’s neck, sucking purple marks on it as he keeps grinding himself up and down, making them both grunt.

Michael looks up and meets Luke’s eyes.

“Look who’s blushing again.” Michael chuckles, placing his lips on Luke’s cheeks, who are currently very red and warm to touch.

“Not blushing. It’s because I’m hot.” Luke barely manages to muster between moans and Michael attacks Luke’s neck again.

“So fucking hot, Lukey. So hot,” And it’s clear to both of them that Michael isn’t referring to Luke’s body temperature or the amount of heat he always seems to radiate.

Michael brings his hands between them, undoing Luke’s pants as fast as he can before pushing them down to his ankles along with his black boxers, Luke’s erection slapping against his stomach.

“Shirt off.” He declares, tugging on the hem of Luke’s white shirt, helping him pull it over his head and neatly placing it over the closed toilet seat before he rids himself of his blue jeans jacket because it’s getting hot (literally, this time) in this small stall.

About a split second later, Michael’s already on his knees in front of Luke’s eager cock, his mouth ready to start working. He guides Luke’s cock into his mouth using his right hand, his left one coming up to hold Luke’s thigh still and pressed against the door.

“Shit.” Luke’s head his the door with a loud thud, his eyes fluttering shut and his hands reaching down and finding their natural place in Michael’s faded-blue hair. Michael swirls his tongue over the head of Luke’s cock a few times before he decides he isn’t in the mood for teasing anymore and he simply takes the entire length of Luke’s cock into his mouth.

“You’re so good at this…so good, I-“ Luke gets cut off as Michael hums against him and Michael thinks Luke might lose it. But then Michael gets a brilliant idea and he takes Luke out of his mouth, looking up at him.

“I wanna try something,” He announces and flashbacks from their first night together hit him, he knows Luke’s going to love it just like he loved the first blowjob Michael gave him.

“Y-yeah.” Luke nods enthusiastically and Michael grins.

He stands back up, his knees hurting just a little bit, and kisses Luke tenderly.

“Turn around for me.” He whispers against Luke’s lips. Luke doesn’t say anything, he just lets Michael guide him. Michael takes Luke’s hands, placing them against the door, showing him how he wants him to support himself. Then, Michael sinks back to his knees on the floor, holding each of Luke’s legs and spreading them as far apart as he can, Luke’s pants limiting them.

Luke cranes his neck, trying to understand what Michael’s trying to do, but Michael isn’t going to explain anything right now, he’s so turned out and he can’t fucking wait to hear Luke moan his name.

Michael places his left hand on the front of Luke’s thigh, holding him still again, and his mouth finds its way to Luke’s hole. And without any warning, he shoves his tongue between Luke’s cheeks, not pushing his tongue in just yet, but licking up and down. Luke gasps.

“ _Michael_!” he almost screams, his forehead coming to rest on the door, his knees bucking a bit, but Michael’s there to hold him in place. Michael simply smiles against him, pushing his tongue into Luke completely and Luke moans, his hand banging on the door once, startling Michael a bit, but he doesn’t stop. He keeps fucking Luke with his tongue, pushing it in and out, making Luke’s breathing to speed. And Michael enjoys every fucking second of it.

“G-god, Michael. I’m gonna come,” Luke breathes, his eyes screwed shut and a sheet of sweat decorating his forehead. Michael loves Luke when he’s all fucked out and vulnerable like that, he looks so fucking hot.

“Mhmm.” Michael hums against him, making Luke choke out another moan.

Michael reaches out, taking Luke’s hard cock in his free hand and stroking it in a fast rhythm, matching it to the rhythm of his tongue that’s working itself in and out of Luke.

“Fuck, that feels so good,” Luke whines, and without any further warning, he’s coming with a string of profanities, his forehead slamming against the door again, and he’s spilling over Michael’s hand.

Luke’s whole body is shaking as Michael retrieves his tongue, getting up and grabbing Luke by the shoulders, making him face him. Michael kisses Luke, gently, before sitting down on the closed toilet seat and Luke’s abandoned shirt and reaching out and helping Luke sit down in his lap, slowly stroking Luke’s back and burying his face in his soft hair.

“Was that good?” Michael whispers, reaching down and grabbing Luke’s hand and holding it, squeezing it a bit. Luke nods, smiling up and meeting Michael’s eyes.

“You were perfect, Mikey. Always perfect.” Luke’s voice is barely over a whisper.

Michael lets him rest for a couple of minutes before he helps him dress and decides that Luke seems too tired to walk (even though he insisted he’s just fine) so Michael helps him jump on his back, Luke resting his head on Michael’s shoulder, his shallow breathing tickling Michael’s neck and ear.

Michael tells the other bartenders he’s going to have to take the night off because Luke isn’t feeling well (which is a complete lie) and simply takes Luke back to Michael’s place, helping him undress and climbing into bed with him, holding him close as he waits for him to fall asleep before he allows himself to sleep as well, their hands linked between them.

Michael decides he loves this night, a lot.


	11. stay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so terribly sorry!! I know it's been a whole month but I've had the worst writer's block, i couldn't come up with anything that felt good enough for this chapter until now so i focused on some other works. But I was finally able to write, with the help of my friends, so i hope this chapter isn't a complete disappointment!!

For once in Luke’s life everything is just perfect and simple. He doesn’t have to worry about school or keeping his grades up, he doesn’t have any chores and he doesn’t feel pressured to get a job or think about college or moving away. He doesn’t have to worry about anything.

But then again, is that correct? Because all Luke’s been thinking about in the past few days is that in a little over two weeks he’s going to have to leave. He’s going to have to pack his stuff and go back home with Ashton and Calum so they can get ready for college. Luke’s gonna have to leave Michael behind.

The last thing Luke wants is to leave Michael, he is definitely, no doubt, the best thing that’s ever happened to Luke in his almost-nineteen years of existence and Luke has no idea how he’s supposed to let that go. How he’s supposed to let _Michael_ go.

Luke decides that today is the day that he’s going to gather enough courage to bring it up and have a serious conversation about it with Michael without them drifting off to different topics or being interrupted.

Truthfully, he really wants it to be the first thing he says when he gets to Michael’s apartment. But the second the doors opens Luke finds himself pressed against it and before he knows it he has his pants and boxers pooling at his ankles and Michael is touching him, everywhere, and then Luke forgets all about what he wanted to say five seconds ago.

So after their second round in the shower, Luke is wearing a pair of Michael’s grey sweatpants and one of his black band shirts and that grey beanie he stole from Calum years ago and never gave back, and he’s all cuddled up at Michael’s side in front of the TV so he decides that it’s now or never.

“Mikey?” Luke’s voice is hesitant and he knows Michael already knows that tone by now. That’s why he mutes the TV and pushes Luke off, just a bit, so he can properly look at him.

“What’s the matter?”

Luke shakes his head with a small smile, straightening up and folding his legs underneath himself.

“I really need to talk and, like, it’s something that’s been burdening me for a while and I feel like we really need to discuss it now or I’ll legitimately explode,” He talks fast, leaving himself breathless as he does because he feels like these are his thirty seconds of bravery and if he doesn’t use this shot of courage he’s probably never going to spit it out and then regret it for the rest of his life.

And Luke isn’t being dramatic, _at all_.

Michael doesn’t say anything, probably understanding that he needs to let Luke do the talking this time. So he simply nods, reaching out and grabbing Luke’s hand, reassuring him. And it works because Luke immediately relaxes, his tense body flexing a bit as he lets out a shaky breath.

“We’ve been tiptoeing around this topic for a while, but I feel like we have to talk about what happens when I leave,” he says, eyes falling down to look at their joint hands.

“You know that I’d stay here, with you, if I could. But I have college, I’m moving in with Ash and Cal the day we get back and then a week later school starts. I can’t stay, and I know you can’t come with us, either. So…” Luke is at loss of words, he has no idea what else to say, he doesn’t have a magical solution.

Is he supposed to beg for Michael to come with them? Because he’s about one hundred percent sure Michael isn’t going to leave his whole life here and just go back with Luke to a whole new place where he knows no one. And why would he? They’ve known each other for less than two months, that’d be crazy of him.

But some part of Luke does hope that Michael would want that, or have a different idea for them.

Michael stays quiet for a minute, just watching Luke silently, his thumb mindlessly rubbing over the soft skin of Luke’s hand as he thinks.

“I don’t want us to break up,” he says after clearing his throat, his voice weak and low.

“I don’t want us to, either.” Luke says without hesitating, that’s the one thing he’s completely sure of, he’d be willing to ditch college and stay here just to prevent them from breaking up. Not that Michael would let him.

“We can make it work though, right?” Michael says and there’s a hint of hope in his voice, so Luke can’t help but look up at him with curiosity, meeting his eyes that are now lit up in excitement.

“People make long-distance relationships work. It’s the twenty first century, there’s internet and iPhones and all that bullshit. We can visit, a lot, and we’ll text and call each other every day. And we can Skype too. We can make it work, Luke. I’m sure we can,”

Luke thought about it, a lot. It didn’t quite seem like a good idea until now, until Michael said it himself with all that hope.

“Yeah! We can make it work. I know it’s cliché, but we can do it,” Luke grins down at Michael and tears spring into his eyes. He doesn’t want to cry, but he feels so relieved and excited.

“Luke…” Michael whispers softly when a tear rolls down Luke’s cheek even though he tried really hard to stop it.

Michael lifts himself up so he’s face to face with Luke before pressing his lips to Luke’s cheek, kissing the tear away.

“Don’t cry, please,” Michael’s voice vibrates against Luke’s skin, making his skin prickle.

“It’s relief, not sadness. I was just so worried…I didn’t want to lose you. I just found you and I-“ Luke gets so caught up in the moment and his feelings that he almost says it, just barely catching himself before he says something stupid.

Luke loves Michael, he’s sure of it. But he also knows how soon it is to actually admit that and how weird it probably is, that he’s known Michael for such little time and he’s already in love with him. He doesn’t want to say it because he’s pretty certain Michael doesn’t feel the same way and he surely doesn’t want to scare him away.

“And you…?” Michael moves back to his previous position, looking up at Luke with those stupidly gorgeous green eyes of his. And for a second Luke actually considers telling him.

“And I’m really glad I came here and met you. I don’t ever wanna leave you, you’re probably the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” Luke chickens out.

Not that any of what he just said was a lie, he meant every word. But he also didn’t tell him that he loves him.

Michael seems confused for a second, but then he shrugs a little and chuckles.

“You’re such a sap, Lukey,” he reaches out and boops Luke’s nose. “I love it,”

***

**To: Ash**

[12:58AM] I’m going with Michael to Wonderland and then crashing at his place, don’t wait up ;-)

**From: Ash**

[1:05AM] Wasn’t planning to!!!! We don’t need you anyway

**To: Ash**

[1:08AM] :-(

**From: Ash**

[1:16AM] That was Cal. Have fun!! And please, for the love of God, be safe

**To: Ash**

[1:21AM] Fine, MOM

**From: Ash**

[1:23AM] :-)

***

Michael’s shift at Wonderland starts at one thirty, so they get there about ten minutes earlier and Michael disappears into the back room while Luke sits by the bar, spinning around in his stool.

“Hey,” someone says behind the bar. So Luke spins back around only to be met with Nick, Michael’s friend. He’s smiling at him with an amused expression on his face and Luke’s face heats up because he probably saw him being a kid and spinning around like an idiot.

“Oh, hey, I was just, um, waiting for Michael,” he stutters, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. Why can’t Luke act normal for once?

“Yeah, he told me,” Nick grins, playing with the blue cloth he’s holding. “Can I get you anything to drink?”

Luke’s already told Michael he’s planning on getting himself so drunk he can’t remember his own name, but he decides to start slow and move to the heavier things later, so he asks Nick for a beer and they just quietly chat until Michael gets back.

Two beers and four shots of Vodka later, Luke is a drunk mess; he’s leaning on the counter, watching Michael and Nick skillfully pour drinks and hand them out as he giggles and makes silly faces at them.

Luke decides he really loves the way Michael looks when he’s working.

His hands quickly and skillfully moving from side to side, grabbing different bottles without even needing to look down at them, pouring drinks into icy glasses and sliding them across the wooden bar and to their owner. He loves the way Michael’s eyebrows furrow in concentration and how his forehead gets all wrinkly as he stares down at his own hands.

Every few minutes Michael would sneak a glance to Luke and shoot him a huge, dorky grin that makes Luke’s stomach flip as he smiles back, feeling like the most special in the whole world.

Luke still can’t believe that out of all the people Michael could’ve been with, he’s chosen Luke.

After about an hour and a half of just sitting on his ass and staring at Michael, Luke decides he wants to dance. So he walks closer to where Michael’s standing, leaning over the bar.

“I’m going dancing, wanna join?” he says directly into his ear, trying to talk over the ear-piercing music.

“I wish, I gotta stay here and help Nick, it’s packed tonight,” Michael says before pulling back so he can look at Luke. Luke’s pouting at him, trying to guilt him into taking a break right this second and joining Luke. He would really love that, if Michael joined him, and he could dance really close to him, and kiss him, and touch him…

“I’ll take a break when it calms down a bit, babe. Okay?”

Luke nods with a small, victorious smile, leaning into Michael again to leave a soft kiss to his cheek.

Luke pushes himself through the crowd, finding a place that is quite in the center, but he’s surrounded by enough people so he doesn’t feel like they’re all looking at him.

He’s so drunk he doesn’t even care who he’s touching or who belongs to the hand that keeps touching his back. He simply closes his eyes and moves along with the music, enjoying every second of it.

There’s a strong scent of alcohol mixed with sweat and as always, the scent of alcohol reminds him of Michael. No matter how many times he’ll shower after work, he’ll always have a hint of alcohol in him. And Luke loves that, just like he loves everything else about Michael.

Like the way his beautiful green eyes always light up when he looks at Luke, or the way his smile widens and his amazingly plump lips always look so kissable. He loves how he’s a head taller than Michael but he still feels so small and protected in Michael’s arms. He loves wearing Michael’s clothes and he loves cuddling with Michael on the couch, pretending to be watching some silly movie Michael picked but actually just watching Michael watching the movie.

Luke really loves Michael.

And he’s so caught up in his thoughts of him he doesn’t even notice the hand that snakes around his waist and the face that pushes itself into his neck.

“Mikey?” Luke asks, confused. This person’s touch doesn’t feel as familiar as Michael. There’s something aggressive and harsh about the way this person is grabbing at Luke’s body and he’s starting to feel a bit uncomfortable.

He detaches himself from the body behind him, turning around to face them.

The blood leaves his face and his stomach flips. “What are you doing here?” Luke asks, swallowing hard.

“I saw you dancing all alone and thought I’d join you, why’d your boyfriend let you dance all by yourself? That’s not very nice,” Derek says, talking loud so Luke can hear him over the music.

Suddenly Luke’s out of his euphoric state, he starts to feel extremely uneasy.

“You’re just here to mess with Michael. You should leave,” Luke says, starting to turn around when a hand clutches his wrist, keeping him in place.

“I don’t know what Michael told you about me, but I promise I’m not that bad,” He says and Luke feels so sick, he regrets drinking so much tonight.

Wonderland feels a lot bigger than it was five minutes ago and he feels lost, looking around for a familiar face or just a way out of the crowd and away from Derek.

“I-I have to go,” Luke says, snatching his own wrist back and pushing through the sweaty people that are carelessly dancing as Luke tries to find his way back to the bar and to Michael.

He hears Derek calling his name as he tries to get as far away from him as he possibly can, but he isn’t quick enough because there’s a hand touching his shoulder and he’s just about to start screaming when he looks down at the hand and spots Michael’s anchor tattoo.

“Are you alright?” Michael asks, eyebrows raised as Luke turns around and he notices the look of horror he has.

“I-I’m…” Luke’s breathing is heavy and it feels like there’s a weight on his chest. He doesn’t want to upset Michael, he doesn’t want Michael to get mad and run off to search for Derek, but he also can’t-not tell him.

“What is it? You’re scaring me, babe.” Michael wraps his arm around Luke’s shoulder, pulling him close. “Let’s go outside,”

Luke lets Michael guide him outside, elbowing their way through all the sweaty bodies until they’re out the front door, breathing the salty ocean sea. Michael sits Luke on the edge of the curb before sitting down next to him, bodies pressed close.

“Feeling better?” Michael asks after giving Luke a few seconds of peace and quiet to just breathe the cool night air and calm down.

Luke nods but doesn’t say anything. There’s a lump growing in his throat and he feels lightheaded. Maybe the alcohol is just making everything seem worse but the situation seems pretty damn bad in Luke’s eyes.

“Wanna tell me what happened in there?”

Luke swallows thickly and audibly, not daring to look up from the floor and meet Michael’s eyes.

“D-Derek’s in there, he danced with me and tried to talk to me, I’m so sorry,”

“Why are you sorry? It isn’t your fault, it’s his. I’m gonna find him and-“

Luke cuts Michael off by touching his cheek gently. “Please don’t do anything reckless. I don’t want you to get hurt, he’s not worth it. He’s just trying to mess with you by getting close to me,”

Luke’s thumb rubs slowly over Michael’s cheeks and Luke is surprised when it works and Michael’s body relaxes and he moves into Luke’s touch, melting into his hand.

“He can do whatever he wants to me, but he isn’t allowed to fucking touch you. Or get anywhere near you,” Michael groans, eyes falling shut as he focuses on the way Luke’s hand moves over his skin.

They sit there, leaning into each other in silence just listening to the waves, until Michael’s completely calm and Luke doesn’t feel as sick anymore.

“I have to go back in, my shift isn’t over for another hour.” Michael breaks the silence, talking into Luke’s neck where his head is buried.

“That’s okay, let’s go,” Luke is about to get up when Michael pulls him back.

“It’s perfectly fine if you wanna go home, or maybe to my place. You don’t have to go back in there, he’s probably still there,” Michael bites the inside of his cheek. A nervous habit Luke noticed Michael’s had since they met.

Luke shakes his head. “I’m coming back in with you.” He says with such determination, knowing Michael won’t be able to refuse him.

So they go back in.

When they approach the bar, they both stop walking as they spot Derek.

It’s too late to back off, though, because he spins in his stool as if he senses Luke and Michael’s presence, a sick smirk on his face.

“Finally! I’ve been waiting for you,” he says and Luke feels Michael’s whole body tense up again by his side.

He reaches down and tries to lace their fingers together, but he’s too late because Michael’s already marching over to Derek.

Luke just isn’t fast enough, it all happens in a span of ten seconds.

Michael grabs Derek by the shirt, pushing him so his back presses against the counter. Luke hears Nick yell something and he feels multiple curious eyes wandering in their direction. He tries to move faster and pull Michael, but Michael’s fist already finds its way to Derek’s face.

There’s a sickening sound of skin hitting skin and Luke hears both Michael and Derek grunt in pain and then Derek’s body slumps down and slides to the floor just when Michael backs away, his back crashing into Luke’s chest.

“Michael! Are you okay?” Luke grabs his shoulders and makes him turn around.

Michael’s face is red and flushed and there are a few beads of sweat on his forehead. He’s gripping his right hand tightly, groaning in pain.

“Fuck!” he yells, kicking at the stool Derek was seated on.

“Fuck you! Why do you have to harass me all the fucking time?” Michael screams at Derek who’s got a hand pressed against his bleeding nose, where Michael hit him.

“Leave me the hell alone or next time I won’t go so easy on you. And stay the hell away from Luke.” He growls, reaching behind him and grabbing Luke’s hand, pulling it into his own injured one.

Some stranger helps Derek get up and outside just when Nick appears, helping Luke drag Michael to the back room.

Nick gives Luke a look that says ‘I’ll leave it up to you’ when they help Michael sit on the wooden chair and Luke thanks Nick quietly and he leaves.

“Can we go home?” Michael asks, voice sounding broken and hurt and it tears Luke apart. But he doesn’t let himself fall apart, he needs to be strong for Michael.

“Let’s just get you some ice for your hand and then we can leave, okay?” Luke brushes a few strands of faded-blue hair out of Michael’s eyes as he nods.

Luke gets some ice for Michael’s hand and help him gather his things and they walk back to Michael’s, hand in hand, Michael leaning into Luke for support every other minute.

When they finally reach Michael’s apartment Luke helps him get out of his clothes and pull on some fresh, comfy ones before helping him into bed.

He slips out of his own clothes and pulls on some of Michael’s before rushing off to the kitchen to make Michael some hot tea and get him new ice for his wound.

“Drink it, it’ll make you feel better,” Luke pushes the mug into Michael’s uninjured hand before sitting beside him on the bed and pressing the pack of ice to the other hand, making Michael wince.

“Sorry,” Luke bites his lip, shooting Michael an apologetic look.

“I’m sorry about tonight, I shouldn’t have lost it like that,” Michael says, taking a short sip from his tea. “I hope I didn’t scare you,” he looks down to his injured hand.

“Hey,” Luke nudges Michael’s chin up with his free hand, making him look him in the eye. “There’s nothing you can do that’ll make me leave, or push me away. You didn’t scare me, I was just scared for your safety.”

“It’s just that…I-I just care about you. A lot,” Michael says, followed by a deep sigh that makes Luke’s heart pound harder in his chest.

“I really care about you, too. So fucking much,” Luke says, pressing his lips to Michael’s.

Their lips move together, slow and gentle, not rushing anywhere. And Luke is so happy to be here with Michael.


	12. romantic poetry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me another month to update, i really am sorry. I'm just never certain where i want to take this and it takes me a while to figure it out but i promise i'm trying to get better at updating!! Also this chapter is pretty short compared to the previous ones and it isn't really important, except for the ending, but what comes after is so don't give up on me just yet!!! Enjoy!

 

Luke loves waking up next to Michael. He always looks so cute with his hair all over the place and his mouth slightly open as he breathes in and out quietly. Luke also loves how Michael always seems to find a way to get himself closer to Luke, even in his sleep; if Luke rolled to his other side, Michael would quickly follow, pressing himself closer to his side.

He understands that it’s really creepy of him, waking up and just watching Michael as he peacefully sleeps by his side, but he really can’t help it.

Michael stirs a little, still asleep, he makes a quiet whiny noise before his arm stretches out in Luke’s direction, finding Luke’s side and squeezing it gently before pulling Luke’s body closer to his. When his arm is strongly secured around Luke, Michael’s body stills again and he looks like he never moved in the first place.

It makes Luke smile, that Michael feels the need to be close to Luke even when he’s completely unaware of what’s happening around him. It also makes Luke feel really safe and loved, Michael’s just always there.

Luke reaches out and grabs his phone from the nightstand and glances at the time. It’s almost one thirty, which explains the way Luke’s stomach is grumbling and howling. So he tries to peel Michael’s hand off without waking him up, but Luke’s never been so talented.

“Luke?” Michael rasps, eyes still screwed shut as his hand reaches out blindly, searching for Luke’s body on the mattress beside him.

“’m right here, Mikey, it’s alright. Go back to sleep,” Luke whispers in reassurance. There’s no need for Michael to get up just because Luke’s hungry. Luke can manage his way around Michael’s apartment just fine.

Michael shuffles around a little before rolling to his stomach, his face smushed against the soft pillow as he mumbles something Luke can’t quite make out because his voice is stifled by the fabric. Luke grins at how cute Michael is as he leans down and presses a loving kiss to Michael’s back of the neck.

He decides to make lunch for the both of them, even though he’s the worst cook. He fishes his phone from his sweatpants’ pocket and dials Ashton’s number quickly, his fingers punching the numbers almost automatically by now.

“Luke!” Ashton chirps loudly into Luke’s ear, making him almost-drop his phone. He had always had a hard time handling Ashton being cheerful 24/7. Luke is definitely not a very cheerful person when he’d just woken up and Ashton is screaming in his ear.

“Why are you screaming?” Luke asks, but it’s more of a rhetorical question and Ashton knows it. Luke can practically sense the eye-roll and the slap on the shoulder he’d be getting if he were near Ashton at the moment.

“Why do you always have to kill my mood, Luke?” now it’s Luke turn to roll his eyes. He knows the giggle is about to come before it actually does, it’s quite contagious though so Luke giggles along.

“Actually, I need your help,” Luke explains as he ducks down and shuffles through Michael’s kitchen drawers, trying to find a big enough pot. “I want to make lunch for Michael but I honestly have no idea what pasta sauce I can make without setting the entire kitchen on fire.”

Ashton laughs at that. “So, you want me to help you make my special sauce, huh?”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re the best cook ever, Ash. Now _help me_!” Luke says and he’s starting to worry the clacking of the metal pots and frying pans is getting too loud and doesn’t want to wake Michael up before he’s done making food.

“Fine, fine. Is the pasta ready?” Ashton asks on the other side and Luke wants to take one of those frying pans and bash his head against it.

“No, I don’t even think I know how to make pasta, Ash…” Luke feels so ridiculous. He wanted to make this whole fancy meal for Michael but he can’t even make something as simple as pasta.

“You know what, I’ll be over in ten. Don’t burn anything,” Ashton says, not giving Luke any chance to respond before he hangs up abruptly. This is not going to end well.

***

As promised, about ten minutes after Ashton hung up on him, there’s a soft knock on the door and Luke runs to get it, not wanting Ashton to grow impatient and loud. He really doesn’t need Michael to wake up and find the both of them in his kitchen , trying to cook an unsuccessful meal.

“Hi!” Ashton whisper-yells the second the door opens. He walks in and Luke doesn’t understand why he’s so surprised to find Calum right behind him. It’s not like these two are ever separable.

“Did you _really_ have to bring Calum with you?” Luke rolls his eyes before closing the door after them and walking them to Michael’s kitchen. Calum huffs and pouts, just about to open his mouth to yell at Luke, when Ashton starts talking.

“I needed my sous-chef, don’t be rude,” he points a blaming finger at Luke before scanning the kitchen with a worried look.

“We brought some stuff. We assumed Michael’s kitchen wasn’t stocked,” Calum says, waving a paper-bag full of groceries and Luke can’t help but smile. He can complain all he wants, but he definitely has the most amazing friends.

It certainly isn’t easy, but after fifty seven minutes of hard work they manage to perfect a huge pot of pasta with Ashton’s magical sauce. Luke is just about to kick them the hell out when someone clears their throat behind him.

 _Uh-oh_.

“Hi guys,” Michael’s voice is deep and raspy from sleep, his hair is extra-messy and he’s rubbing sleep out of his eyes. But there’s still a really huge smile plastered to his face. “What’s going on?”

He looks around at the kitchen, then at Ashton, then Calum and lastly Luke. He shoots him a funny, questioning look, but he doesn’t seem angry or annoyed. Luke thought he’d be mad that he let Ashton and Calum in without asking, while he was asleep. And they made a mess of his kitchen, too.

“Babe?” he asks with a chuckle when everyone just stays quiet, the question obviously aimed at Luke who, for some reason, forgets how to speak.

“Uh, I wanted to make you lunch and…I can’t cook, so, I-uh…asked Ash and Cal to help…” Luke stammers. He’s all over the place, he really doesn’t know  why he’s feeling so weird about this, all he did was try and do something nice for Michael and he doesn’t seem mad or anything, but Luke is just an idiot.

Michael’s grin widens as he walks over to Luke and pecks his lips. “You’re so cute, I love it when you get flustered and nervous, did you know that?”

“Oh yeah, I certainly did know…” Luke blushes and hides his face in Michael’s shoulder, as flashes of what Michael did to him in the bathroom of Wonderland last week hit him.

“Aren’t we cute too? He couldn’t have possibly managed this without us,” Calum points out, completely ruining Michael and Luke’s moment. He’s made that a habit of his.

“You are definitely cute,” Michael laughs, wrapping an arm around Luke’s waist and pulling him closer. “You’re still the cutest, though.” He promises into Luke’s ear and Luke feels his heart thumping faster and louder in his chest.

“So, can we eat already? I’m starving!” Ashton asks and everyone agrees. So they sit down for a messily-cooked meal.

They still have a great time together.

***

After Calum and Ashton leave, not before making Michael and Luke promise they’ll hang out together later tonight, Luke and Michael decide to just relax and watch a movie on Michael’s couch.

Luke is happily seated between Michael’s legs, his back pressed flush against Michael’s chest as Michael’s hand mindlessly tangles itself in Luke’s soft hair and Luke’s thumb gently rubs over Michael’s injured knuckles, their hands intertwined.

“Hey, Mikey?” Luke’s voice is quiet, almost a whisper. Luke knows Michael knows that tone, that’s the tone he uses on him every time he wants to talk about something serious. Luke’s been dancing around this idea for a couple of days.

“Yeah?” Michael croaks, his body immediately stiffening against Luke’s and Luke certainly understands. He doesn’t know why he always gets nervous when they talk about something serious like what’s going to happen when Luke leaves, or anything regarding their relationship. Luke’s never been good with serious conversations, unless he’s giving advice to someone. But this is clearly not the case.

“I was thinking, you know we’ve been doing a lot of, um, _things_ …” Luke is terrible, he has no idea what he’s saying or how to form the words he actually wants to say. It amuses Michael, though, because he giggles from behind Luke and he feels it against his back. He loves when Michael laughs.

“Things, huh? That’s how you define that?” Michael chuckles and Luke is so very grateful he can’t see his face right now because he’s as red as a tomato. He elbows Michael’s ribs, gently of course.

“Shut up, this is hard for me,” he whines, throwing his head back to rest on Michael’s shoulder and closing his eyes with a sigh of frustration. Michael stops laughing and leans down to kiss Luke’s burning-hot cheek.

“I’m sorry,” Michal murmurs, rubbing his nose against the side of Luke’s face, making the corners of his mouth tug up in a small, loving smile. “You can talk to me, I was just messing around.”

Luke hums and nods, he knows he can talk to Michael. He’s just not sure how to say what he wants to say, so he decides that as always he’s just going to spit it out and hope for the best. Sometimes it works.

“I feel really comfortable with you, and I’m having so much fun. So I was thinking, maybe we could, you know, take it…all the way?” Luke’s eyes are still closed, he doesn’t dare to open them and look at Michael as he says that. He doesn’t know why, but he’s just really embarrassed.

He’s so jealous of Michael, he’s so open and he isn’t ashamed of anything, he talks about everything so openly, including anything sex-related. Luke, on the other hand, is the opposite of that. He gets so awkward when Calum and Ashton tease him about what he and Michael are doing. And it bothers Luke, because he really wants to be this really open, confident person. But he can’t even seem to be able to talk to Michael about what he wants without his face changing colors.

“Look at me?” Michael asks. It’s not a demand, his voice is as far as it can get from that. His voice is soft and understand and Luke knows he has nothing to worry about. So he inhales shakily and opens his eyes, meeting Michael’s green orbs.

“I know you’re not so comfortable talking about these things, please don’t be shy. You can always talk to me. I know you’re inexperienced and it’s alright, there’s nothing wrong with that. That’s why we’re taking things slow, in your own pace,” Michael talks in whispers, his every word makes Luke’s chest swell. He _loves_ Michael.

“Please don’t get mad at my question, but are you sure you want to do this? Are you not just rushing it because you want to do this before you leave? Because I will visit you and you will visit me, we have all the time in the world. I don’t want you to do something you’re not ready for, Luke. I can wait,” Michael keeps stroking Luke’s arms as he speaks, making Luke feel safe and loved.

“I don’t feel rushed or pressured, I swear. I want this, I want _you_. I really l-like you, I care about you, so much. And I…I just want to do this. I’m ready,” Luke nearly chokes when he realizes he almost told Michael he loves him. He can’t explain why this is such a big deal for him, he’s just scared he’s going to make Michael run away. What if Michael’s not ready? What if it freaks him out? Plus, Luke’s never told anyone he loved them before. Not like that.

“I-I care about you too. So fucking much, Luke. You’re so important to me,” Michael’s voice is shaky and Luke feels his body shiver behind him. So he half-gets off of Michael, just enough so he can turn around, before he sits back in Michael’s lap, his legs on either side of him.

“Can I tell you something?” Luke hears himself talk before he can stop himself. He’s feeling brave all of the sudden. “But, you can’t freak out. Promise me,”

Michael nods and drags his lips over Luke’s, brief and gentle. “I promise.”

Luke takes one deep breath and opens his eyes so he can look at Michael.

“I love you,” Luke’s voice is extremely quiet and soft and he kind of feels like crying just because it’s so relieving to finally say it. He loves Michael, he really does. “You don’t have to say it back. I just really needed you to know,”

Michael’s body tenses against Luke’s, he just stills and blinks at Luke for what feels like forever. Luke’s throat feels dry and like it’s going to close up any second now. It’s no big deal if Michael isn’t ready to say it back, but it’s scary, to open yourself up like that. To let someone know how much you really care about them.

“Luke, I-“ Michael stops and breathes and licks his lips before going on. “I love you, I was so scared to tell you…I’ve been wanting to but I was so scared, I-“ Luke cuts his ramble off by crashing his lips onto Michael’s.

The kiss is desperate and needy. It’s full of teeth clashing and tongues touching and giggling into each other’s mouths breathlessly. They both just really need to hold onto each other right now.

Luke loves Michael. Michael loves Luke back.


	13. now everything is perfect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, i'm so terrible sorry it took me another month to update :( i'm struggling with severe writers block!
> 
> But on a brighter note, this chapter is special to me and i have to say that i'm quite proud of it!! I hope you enjoy it :-)
> 
> (ps. it's 6:25am so if there are any mistakes please forgive me i'll fix them tomorrow)

Luke spends another night at Michael’s and even though he tries, he really does, they don’t do much. Michael keeps stopping Luke saying that ‘I’ve already told you that I’m going to make all your firsts special, didn’t I?’ leaving Luke frustrated and sulking.

They did have fun though, but not the exact kind of fun that Luke was aiming for.

“Are you mad at me?” Is the first thing Michael asks when his eyes flutter open in the morning, meeting Luke’s eyes that are watching him closely as he sleeps. Luke thinks it’s slowly becoming a habit. A creepy one, that is.

Michael’s question catches him completely off guard. Why would Luke be mad at Michael? He can’t recall any fights going on last night.

“What? Why would I be mad at you?” Luke’s eyebrows furrow and his nose scrunches up as he tilts his head to the side, shooting Michael a confused look. But then Michael’s lip tug up in a familiar, teasing smile and he chuckles and lets his head drop back to the soft pillow under his head.

“Because I wouldn’t give you what you wanted last night,” Michael says, flashing Luke another one of his award winning smiles while wiggling his eyebrow suggestively. Luke, as always, immediately flushes and starts stuttering.

“I’m-uh, I’m not mad, I still had fun, I-“ Michael puts Luke out of his misery by cutting him off with a kiss. It’s slow and lazy, sloppy, but still loving. Luke always feels loved when he’s with Michael.

“I love it when you blush…so cute,” Michael murmurs as he presses his beautiful, pink lips to Luke’s heated cheek, leaving small, wet kisses all over the soft skin. Michael tickles Luke and it makes him giggle and squirm and somehow he ends up under Michael while Michael attacks his whole face with cute little kisses.

“You’re the absolute worst!” Luke cries as he playfully tries to push Michael off. Truth is, he wouldn’t mind spending the rest of his life trapped under Michael’s beautiful, warm body like this.

“Oh, is that so?” Michael raises his eyebrow, pinning both of Luke’s arms above his head. Luke knows there’s no way out for him and Michael’s going to do something that’s probably going to leave him very frustrated, but he still can’t resist the urge to tease Michael back, so he nods his head with a playful smirk.

“Well then, if I’m the ‘absolute worst’…” Michael’s voice trails off as he leans down to kiss Luke’s lips, both of them smiling into each other’s mouths. And then Michael grinds down against Luke’s body, letting out a shaky breath and making Luke gasp at the sudden friction. He wasn’t expecting that.

“M-Mikey…” Luke’s voice is deep and turned on as Michael keeps grinding against him, completely driving him crazy. Luke knows this is Michael’s way of ‘paying him back’ for his comment. Truthfully, he really doesn’t mind.

What he does mind, though, is when Luke’s already getting close and he’s moaning and panting and squirming under Michael, he stops completely, rolling off Luke and off the bed, leaving Luke frustrated and confused. He simply blinks at Michael, breathing heavily and not letting out a single word.

“What is it, babe?” Michael looks down at him with a smirk Luke just can’t wait to kiss off his face. He huffs and sits up, crossing his arms over his chest with a pout like he always does when he doesn’t get what he wants.

“Why can’t we just…you know…?” Luke’s whole face lights up in ten different shades of red and purple, will he ever learn how to stop being awkward when talking to Michael about these things? It’s getting more than embarrassing by now.

“Because, I want it to be perfect,” Michael shakes his head and stretches out his hand for Luke to take.

“Let’s go take a shower, okay?” Luke shakes his head and refuses to get up, so Michael sighs and smiles before flopping down on the edge of the bed. Luke refuses to look at him both because he’s a little embarrassed and flustered and because he’s fake-mad that Michael makes such a big deal of it.

“Listen to me, please?” Michael shifts closer to Luke on the bed, his hand finding Luke’s, lacing them together.

“I told you before I just want to make this special. It’s not because it’s your first time, Luke, it’s because it’s _our_ first time,” Michael says softly and Luke’s heart swells in his chest. He really loves Michael.

He loves how he tries so hard for him and how he takes things slow with Luke because he cares, he loves how Michael would never push him to do anything but he doesn’t say no. He loves that Michael understands Luke and he knows when Luke’s too embarrassed to say something so he spares him the pain of it.

Luke loves Michael.

Luke can’t even keep pretending he’s fake-mad at Michael. He leans into Michael and cups his cheeks in both hands, crashing their lips together in a desperate, emotion-loaded kiss. He strokes Michael’s cheeks and sighs into his mouth before pulling back.

“I love you. It doesn’t matter how or when we do this, it’s gonna be special because I love you, and you love me too, so please stop worrying about making this special when all I need is you.”

They sit there in silence for a couple of seconds, Michael simply blinking at Luke and Luke blinks back because he doesn’t know what else to do. And then the weird moment is over. Michael lunges forward and captures Luke in a tight, warm hug. Luke wasn’t expecting it, he was expecting a kiss or maybe Michael telling him he needs to shut up because he’s getting too sappy, but instead Michael simply holds him there, still quiet, but there’s no need for words.

“Come with me?” Michael asks quietly when he pulls back, getting up to his feet and offering Luke his hand again. This time Luke takes it. The atmosphere feels different, it’s heavier, but not in a bad or burdening way, it’s still nice and easy, it’s still Luke and Michael. Just a little more serious version of them.

Luke lets Michael pull him to the bathroom. Once Michael closes the door behind them he turns to face Luke again, looking him up and down, making him blush and look down.

“Stop, you’re embarrassing me,” Michael’s head snaps up at that, and he watches Luke’s face closely.

“You’re beautiful, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” he says, stepping in closer to Luke, cupping his face in both hands. “I love you. And I’m going to show you just how much,” his voice is determined and full of passion and Luke’s heart is beating so fast he’s certain Michael can hear it.

Without saying another word Michael places his hands on Luke’s shoulders and guides him to the door, pushing Luke against it gently. Michael leans in closer, pecking Luke’s lips once before dragging his lips down, peppering kisses on Luke’s jaw and Luke feels like his knees might give in on him any second now as he stands there, pressing his entire weight against the wooden door, trying to keep himself standing. The room feels so hot and Michael’s lips just feel so nice and soft against his burning skin.

Michael starts sucking on the side of Luke’s jaw, hands on Luke’s hips to keep him in place. Everything just feels so good to Luke, every time Michael touches him he shivers and every spot Michael kisses starts tingling. He moans, low and deep, hands flying up to tangle themselves in Michael’s soft, faded-blue hair, pulling on it gently. Luke knows Michael likes that.

When Michael’s done sucking a huge, dark mark for Luke to be proud of later on his jaw, he trails his lips down, kissing Luke’s neck. Luke feels like he might lose consciousness every second now.

When Michael starts sucking on Luke’s neck, Luke whines. “Michael…please,”

So Michael pauses, smiling up at Luke before reaching out silently, pulling Luke’s shirt up. He’s too far gone to even wonder if they’re just gonna do it in the bathroom. He lets Michael pull his shirt off before reaching for his own.

“Lose the clothes, babe,” Michael orders softly, reaching down to undo his own pants. Luke doesn’t need to be told twice, he follows Michael’s steps and gets rid of his pants and boxers and just stands there, watching Michael finish sliding his own boxers down his legs.

“We’re going in the shower,” Michael explains with a small smirk. Luke knows Michael knows just how overwhelming and exciting and especially new this whole thing is to Luke. But Luke trusts Michael, whatever Michael decides they should do is fine with him. So he doesn’t ask why they’re going in the shower instead of Michael’s bed.

Michael steps in first, setting the water temperature before looking up at Luke with a familiar smile, offering him his hand, which Luke takes happily. He lets Michael pull him in and doesn’t let go of his hand even when he’s inside. They stand close, just looking at each other and smiling stupidly, letting the water soak them both.

“I love you everything about you, you know?” Michael mumbles, scanning Luke’s entire figure in the steamy shower.

“I mean, I adore your hair,” he starts, his free hand immediately shoots up to touch the ends of Luke’s damp hair, running his fingers through it. “It’s always so soft, looks effortlessly beautiful. I always wanna run my fingers through it,” he pulls on it gently for emphasis, making Luke’s eyes flutter shut for a second.

“I love your eyes, they’re amazing. I could drown in them, I never get tired of looking at them. So blue and nice…and I love that they’re not the exact same color. So special,” he continues, moving closer to Luke so his hot breath hits Luke’s face. When Michael moves in, Luke thinks he’s going to kiss him so he closes his eyes, but instead Michael leaves a quick kiss to each of his closed eyelids before pulling back, giving Luke’s hand a squeeze.

“Your nose? A work of art. It has such a nice shape.” he murmurs, moving closer, rubbing his nose against Luke’s, making him giggle. So Michael instantly starts giggling too and Luke realizes how much he loves this, their relationship. It’s never too overwhelmingly serious, they can laugh through everything and nothing feels too heavy.

“Have I ever told you how great your lips are? Sometimes when you’re talking I can’t help but stare at them, they’re so pink and nice…so kissable and-“ he doesn’t finish that sentence, instead he pulls Luke into a breathy kiss.

When he pulls back, he looks down at Luke’s chest. “This is my favorite part, though,” Michael says, poking Luke’s chest carefully. And Luke is confused, he never would’ve imagined that Michael would pick his chest as his favorite part of Luke’s body. When Michael sees Luke’s questioning, confused look he chuckles.

“Your heart, silly. Not your chest,” he rolls his eyes, kissing Luke’s cheek.

“You have such good heart, Luke. You’re so kind and sweet, you’re this person who’s always positive and always brings so much light into everyone’s lives. Everyone adores you for it. You always make sure everyone’s happy before you even make sure you are. You have the kindest, purest heart, Luke. That’s my favorite part about you.”

And Luke feels dizzy. The good kind, though. He feels like there’s nothing and no one but the two of them in the small, steamy bathroom. All he sees is Michael. His heart is thumping in his chest and his vision goes blurry with tears.

“Mikey…” his voice trails off as he brings his free hand up to hold Michael’s shoulder for support. He feels like he might collapse any second now. “I think that’s the most beautiful thing anyone’s ever said to me.”

Michael’s lips curl up into a huge smile and his gorgeous eyes light up. He gives Luke’s hand a squeeze before moving in and kissing him. It’s not a gentle kiss, nor is it greedy. It’s just a loving, caring kiss and Luke’s never felt happier.

Michael moves them so Luke’s back is pressed against the shower wall, one hand resting next to his head and the other still holding Luke’s. Luke is starting to grind himself against Michael, making needy, desperate noises. But then he, surprisingly enough, loses his balance and his foot slips and he almost takes Michael with him, but somehow he manages to catch Luke in the last second, holding him firmly.

“Are you alright?” Michael’s eyes are wide with panic and concern. But Luke nods, a blush creeping onto his cheeks. He’s so embarrassing, they’re about to have sex and he slips.

“We can’t do this in here, let’s go.” Michael announces, letting go of Luke’s hand so he can shut the water off and step out. When Luke tries to follow, Michael stops him by placing a hand on his wet chest.

“Come here, princess,” he smirks before lifting Luke up effortlessly, as if he isn’t the tallest giant around, once hand behind his back and the other behind the back of his knees, carrying him to the bedroom.

“You’re cute, you didn’t have to carry me, though,” Luke smiles up at Michael just as they enter Michael’s room.

“Knowing you, you would’ve slipped over your own wet feet. Can’t risk that, now can we?” he winks, leaving a small kiss to Luke’s forehead before placing him gently on the bed.

“Before we do anything, I want you to remember we can always stop. At any point, no matter what’s going on. You need to know that if something doesn’t feel right or if you’re uncomfortable you can stop me,”

Michael says, sitting down on the bed next to Luke, looking him in the eyes. Luke wants to stop Michael from saying these things, there’s no reason for Luke to be uncomfortable. But then he remembers Michael’s past and how he probably wished he could make himself speak up and say he’s uncomfortable and he wants to stop and he realizes that Michael’s looking out for him, Michael wants him to feel safe. And he does, he never felt safer or more comfortable with anyone.

“And Luke, we don’t have to do this. If you’re scared or not ready, we don’t have to. I can wait, this can wait. I love you and all I want is for you to feel good, and I don’t want to risk you not feeling good. Okay?” Michael finishes, taking a deep breath, not looking away from Luke’s eyes for a second.

“I want this. I love you, and I appreciate how much you care about me, but I’m not scared. I feel ready and I trust you,” Luke says quietly, almost a whisper. This time, it isn’t because he’s shy or embarrassed, it’s because this is so personal and it feels like it needs to be said quietly, just between them.

“I love you, so much,” Michael whispers back, leaning in to kiss Luke again. He starts pushing Luke back to the mattress, deepening the kiss. But then Luke realizes that it’s only about three in the afternoon and the sun is out and the room is all light up. He places a hand on Michael’s bare, still damp chest, pushing he back a bit.

“It’s…not dark in here,” Luke says stupidly, not being able to come up with a better way to explain himself. Michael chuckles and furrows his eyebrows.

“I know?” he asks, obviously confused as to what Luke’s trying to say.

“No, I mean, don’t you wanna close the blinds? We usually do these things in the dark…” Luke bites his lip, feeling awkward about this. It doesn’t bother him that it’s not dark and that he can finally see Michael clearly, he’s just not used to that.

“Oh, does it bother you? I thought we could do this with the lights on. I wanna see you, don’t wanna hide…not this time,” Michael says, examining Luke’s face. “I could close them, if you feel more comfortable in the dark, though.”

But Luke shakes his head. It’s quite nice, the idea. That Michael wanted them to be able to see each other, not hide in the dark. He likes it. “No, leave it. I like this idea better, wanna see you too.” He grins, arching up to press his lips to Michael’s again.

They both smile into each other’s mouths, and Michael uses that opportunity to push his tongue into Luke’s mouth. Luke hums, not even trying to tease Michael. He’s having too much fun; Michael’s lips on his own, his tongue in his mouth and his hands touching him everywhere. Everything feels so damn good, Michael feels so damn good. It’s making his head spin and his heart race in the best way possible.

Michael breaks the kiss and moves down to finish the work he started earlier on Luke’s neck. He finds Luke’s hand in the mess of sheets and laces their fingers together while sucking yet another mark to Luke’s neck. Luke squirms and moans under Michael’s lips. When he’s done with Luke’s neck, Michael keeps moving down, this time finding a spot he likes on Luke’s chest and sucking a mark into the soft skin there too.

By the time Michael’s done Luke’s covered in red, soon to be purple, marks; his jaw, neck, chest, belly, thighs, shoulders and back are covered in marks that Luke took so much pleasure in receiving and will take so much pleasure in showing off later on.

“Michael, please do something…” Luke begs when Michael’s just nipping at the skin behind Luke’s ear, not even sucking, just kissing the skin there. It’s driving Luke’s crazy. He’s so turned on and he really needs Michael do to something before he loses it.

“Babe, we’ve got all day…” Michael murmurs next to Luke’s ear and Luke grumps. He knows how much of a tease Michael can be, but he’s so close to losing it.

“Wait here,” Michael whispers, pressing a kiss to Luke’s cheek before leaving his room in a rush. Luke is certain he’s just being a tease again, he’s just messing with him. But then he comes back with a bottle of lube and a condom in hand and Luke understands.

Michael places the stuff on the bed and hovers above Luke again, kissing the tip of his nose and smiling cutely. “I’m gonna prep you now, is that alright?”

And again, Luke finds it both sweet and reassuring, how gently and carefully Michael treats him. He pulls Michael down for another kiss before nodding and biting his bottom lip nervously and excitedly.

He hears the pop of the lid and he leans up on his elbows, watching as Michael pours out some lube onto his fingers, rubbing them a bit before turning to face Luke, flashing him a reassuring smile.

“Ready, babe?” he asks, looking up and waiting for an okay.

“Hold my hand?” Luke chokes out and something flashes in Michael’s eyes, Luke can’t quite detect what that is, though. Michael nods, moving so he’s sitting between Luke’s trembling, spread legs and stretches out one arm so Luke can tangle their fingers together.

“Okay, you can go on,” Luke says with a squeeze to Michael’s hand and he nods, squeezing it back and leaning down. He leaves an open-mouthed kiss to Luke’s inner thigh before pushing the tip of his finger into Luke.

It feels weird, and definitely new, not something he’s ever experienced before. Sure, Michael did work his magic on his with his tongue, but it isn’t the same as having his finger in. Michael keeps looking up at Luke who’s having trouble catching his breath as he tries to push as much of his finger in as he can.

“You need to relax, babe. I know it’s weird and it might hurt a bit, but if you don’t relax I can’t do anything. I won’t force it in,” Michael says, and it doesn’t sound like a demand or a complaint, it sounds like Michael. Like he’s worried and he wants this to work and Luke knows. So Luke nods, squeezing Michael’s hand and taking a deep breath, trying to relax his muscles.

Apparently it works, because Michael gently pushes his finger all the way in, looking up at Luke to make sure he’s alright before pulling it almost all the way out and then pumping it back in. It stings for a couple of seconds, but then Michael quickens the pace just a little bit, still worried he might hurt Luke, but it feels good. So good.

It takes about ten minutes, but eventually Michael has three fingers slickly pumping in and out of Luke and Luke is a moaning mess. He’s fisting at the sheets, squeezing Michael’s hand as tight as he can as he pants and calls Michael’s name.

“I-I’m not gonna last any longer, Mikey- _ah_!” Luke warns. He might not have too much experience but the way Michael’s keeps pumping his fingers is going to make him come eventually. Michael works his fingers in out of Luke four more times before he pulls them out and Luke feels weird. Suddenly it feels kind of strange, he liked feeling full.

Michael sits back on his heels and grabs the abandoned condom from earlier. He fights the wrapper with sticky fingers, both him and Luke giggling as it slips out of his hands a few times before he gives up and rips it with his teeth. Next, he rolls the condom onto himself slicks himself up, pumping his length a few times.

He crawls back to Luke, hovering above him once more, supporting his weight with his forearms. “How’re you feeling there, Lukey?”

Michael grins down at Luke and Luke feels so happy. Everything about this is perfect. Michael is perfect, this moment is perfect, everything feels prefect.

“Perfect,” he answers with a stupid, dorky smile, making Michael giggle and lean down to kiss him.

“Mikey?” Luke speaks into Michael’s mouth so it’s muffled and it makes them both laugh again. There’s nothing better than Michael’s laugh.

“Yeah, Luke?”

“I love you. I really, really love you,” he chews his bottom lip, looking up at the most beautiful boy he’s ever seen, just lying there on top of him. Michael looks taken aback all of the sudden, but not in a bad way. But then he crakes a huge, loving smile that looks knows well.

“I love you so damn much. Fuck, you have no idea…” his voice trails off as he dives back in and crashes his lips hungrily on Luke’s, making him hum.

“Okay?” Michael asks after breaking the kiss, looking into Luke’s eyes. And Luke doesn’t need to ask what he’s talking about. He takes a deep breath and grins, nodding.

Michael lines himself up and the tip of his cock brushes Luke’s entrance and he’s already fighting back a moan. Michael pushes his hand between them and guides himself into Luke, slowly and gently. He’s about halfway in when he pauses to look down at Luke; his eyes are screwed shut and his right hand is fisting the sheets tightly, his teeth sinking down deeply into his bottom lip.

“Do you want me to stop? Pull back? Talk to me, baby.” Michael asks quietly. Luke knows he’s worried and he doesn’t want to hurt Luke, but Luke isn’t a porcelain doll, he isn’t gonna break. He just needs a second. So he shakes his head and takes a deep breath, opening his eyes bravely to look up at Michael.

“Just hurts a bit, I’ll be alright,” Luke lets go of the sheets. His hand is sore from holding onto them so tightly. “Please don’t stop.” He pleads and Michael takes a second to examine his face. But then he presses a kiss to Luke’s now-sweaty forehead and nods. He keeps pushing in, inch by inch, until he’s all the way in and then he pauses completely, waiting for Luke to adjust and give him an okay to move.

Luke thinks about what Michael told him earlier, about relaxing himself. So he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, trying to make his muscles flex like he did with Michael’s fingers. And it works, the pain doesn’t disappear completely, but he feels more relaxed and he’s ready for Michael to finally move.

“I’m okay, you can move, Mikey.” Luke says and Michael smiles.

“What?”

“Nothing, you just look really pretty. I love how your hair is falling against your forehead like that and you’re all sweaty,” Michael bites his beautiful, pink bottom lip, making Luke grin.

“I’m so lucky,” Luke whispers, and Michael doesn’t ask why.

“Not as lucky as I am, though.”

And with that Michael pulls himself almost completely out of Luke before pushing back in. Michael repeats that a few times, making sure to keep his thrusts shallow and slow. But it’s starting to frustrate Luke because it doesn’t hurt as much anymore and he really needs Michael to move faster, harder. He needs to feel it.

“Please…Mikey, go faster, don’t go easy on me. I promise I’m okay, more than okay, I’m perfect I-“ Luke’s ramblings get cut off by a rough thrust. It makes Luke’s eyes roll back into his head and his back arches up and it feels so good. Michael feels amazing.

“Michael…Michael, Mikey!” Luke just doesn’t seem to be able to stop chanting Michael’s name, he’s so far gone. He wraps his legs around Michael’s waist and clings onto him, wanting to be impossibly closer to him.

“Fuck,” Luke breathes out when Michael hits his spot. He doesn’t need to ask and he isn’t confused as to why that one thrust felt a little better than all the previous ones, he knows Michael hit his prostate and he doesn’t want him to ever stop.

“R-right there, fuck, do that again, Mikey, please…” and Michael doesn’t argue back. He moans in Luke’s ear and thrusts into that same spot, making sure he hits Luke’s prostate every time.

The headboard above Luke’s head keeps hitting the wall every time Michael thrusts into him and Michael’s moans in his ears or the way he pushes his head into Luke’s neck and bites the skin there drives Luke crazy.

“I’m gonna…gonna come Mikey, I can’t-“ he gets cuts off by Michael’s lips on his, shutting him up.

“Do it. Come for me, Luke, you’re hot, so, so fucking hot,” Michael rasps in Luke’s ear. He thrusts into him extra hard and Luke loses it. He clings onto Michael for dear life as he whines and pants Michael’s name over and over, clenching around Michael as he comes, which pushes Michael over the edge as well, crying out Luke’s name.

When both of their breathing even out and Michael rolls off Luke and lies down next to him, both of them staring at the ceiling, Luke starts giggling. Michael, confused, turns to face him, eyeing him.

“What-what are you laughing at?”

“That, fuck, that was so amazing. You’re perfect,” Luke breathes out. He thinks he’s in shock but he isn’t sure. But Michael lifts an eyebrow and just blinks at Luke for a second before bursting out into a contagious laughter.

“That was perfect babe,” Michael chuckles when they finally calm down.

“Just perfect.”


	14. broken hearts parade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please don't hate me!!! i know i'm terrible, worst updater in the whole world but i have a lot going on plus i was kinda stuck with wonderland, i wasn't quite sure how i wanted it to continue. BUT i am happy and sad to say that i figured it out. the last chapter is gonna be chapter 17, i have the story's timeline all figured out and i know what's gonna happen so hopefully updates are gonna come //a lot// faster now.
> 
> enjoy this chapter and please don't give up on me!!! i'm doing my best
> 
> (ps. the title doesn't really have anything to do with this chapter but i was listening to this song by good charlotte and i was like why the hell not so!!)

***

It’s been almost a full week since the day at Michael’s apartment and Luke had sworn to himself he’s never getting his hands off Michael. Ever.

Michael seems to have no complains whatsoever.

Their friends, on the other hand, aren’t as happy. Of course they’re happy for Michael and Luke, but they’re not as happy about the ‘constant gay porn’ that’s going around in the house, as Calum so nicely worded it.

***

Luke wakes up with a huge smile on his face. Michael is sound asleep above him, one hand linked with Luke’s and the other is hooked around his waist. Luke can feel Michael’s chest rise and fall slowly and he can feel his heart beating in chest.

He inhales deeply, taking in the familiar scent of Michael before lifting his head up, leaving a small kiss to Michael’s cheek, and carefully untangling himself from Michael and slipping out of the room before he wakes Michael up.

He skips down the stairs and finds his friends in the kitchen. Ashton is hunched over a coffee mug, one hand holding it while the other is holding his phone, and Calum has his head sticking into the fridge, probably looking for something to eat.

“Hey,” Luke says as he enters the kitchen, tapping Calum’s back as he passes him before he drops down on the stool next to Ashton, giving him a warm smile as he reaches over and steals his coffee mug, sipping from it without even asking for Ashton’s permission.

Ashton only shakes his head in disapproval in response before he gets up and grabs himself a fresh mug while mumbling ‘everyone is too damn comfortable in this house’ under his breath. It makes Luke and Calum exchange a funny look.

“Where’s your tail?” Calum snickers, finally getting his head out of the fridge, shooting Luke an amused smirk.

“He’s not my tail…” Luke mutters with a pout, hands still clasping the mug he stole from Ashton. “He’s still asleep.”

“Gee, I wonder why!” Calum exclaims all of the sudden, walking the short way from the fridge to the island Ashton and Luke are sitting next to, standing behind Ashton and leaning his weight on his back. Luke’s confused, he’s not sure what Calum means so he shoots Ashton a ‘help me out here’ look.

“You don’t understand? Oh, I’ll explain it to you, Lukey,” Calum places the bottle water he grabbed a minute ago on the table with a thud before he moves to stand closer to Luke.

“ _Oh, Michael!!”_ Calum moans and Luke’s eyes widen in shock. “I love your dick, why don’t you shove it in-” Calum doesn’t get the chance to finish his dramatic display because Ashton is shutting him up holding his hand to Calum’s mouth, not letting him speak. Luke’s face has never heated up faster.

He glances over at Ashton, trying to read his expression and figure out if Calum’s just exaggerating or if he and Michael are really that loud and really make it hard for them to sleep.

“What Calum is trying to say,” Ashton breaks the painful silence, giving Calum a stern look before dropping his hand from his face. “Is that we’re really happy you’re having fun, but maybe you could be quieter or do it when we’re not around. Or at least when we’re not asleep.” Ashton says, placing a comforting hand on Luke’s shoulder.

“What’s going on?” Michael sleepily croaks from the kitchen door, startling all three of them, making them turn their heads to look at him.

He’s standing there gracefully with crazy bed-hair, stifling a yawn. In Luke’s eyes he looks just like an angel. Not that he’s going to say that out loud, of course.

Luke immediately jumps to his feet, shrugging Ashton’s hand off his shoulder and stumbling in Michael’s direction, wanting nothing more than to put his arms around him and kiss him. It’s ridiculous and totally cheesy and clingy of him but Luke’s actually missed Michael in the ten minutes that’s passed since he got out of bed.

“Mikey,” Luke breathes as he reaches out and cups Michael’s face in his hands, resting his forehead on top of Michael’s, looking into his beautiful, sleepy eyes. “Missed you.” He murmurs, making Michael smile.

“Missed you too, babe. Y’know I don’t like waking up without you,” Michael’s voice is barely a whisper. They might be in the kitchen, with their friends staring at them, but it still feels so intimate and special to Luke. Michael does that to him.

Luke rubs his nose against Michael’s, making him giggle and stroke Luke’s waist.

“Kiss me.” Luke says softly, knowing Michael isn’t going to refuse that. So Michael pulls Luke closer by the waist, capturing his lips in a sweet kiss. Michael’s lips are soft as always, fitting perfectly against Luke’s.

“I’m gonna be sick, Ash.” Their nice moment is cut short by Calum’s sarcastic tone, making Michael chuckle into Luke’s mouth, pushing him back by the chest a bit.

“You’re just jealous because you have no one to kiss you good morning,” Luke mutters angrily as he drops his hands from Michael’s face and moves to sit back down in his previous seat where he can sulk in peace.

“He has Ashton,” Michael points out, dropping down on the seat next to Luke, dragging the stool closer to Luke’s so he can place his hand on Luke’s hip, giving it a squeeze as they both start laughing.

“I literally hate you guys!” Calum squeaks and throws his hands in the air. “I liked it better when you were fucking in Luke’s room, at least you put those stupid mouths of yours to better use!” he adds before storming out of the kitchen. Luke’s face becomes redder than a tomato as Ashton and Michael’s laughter fills the room.

How come all the jokes are always on his expense?

***

Luke’s trying to pretend like next week isn’t their last week here and like he isn’t going to have to say goodbye to Michael so soon. It feels like the summer’s gone by in three seconds. He feels like they had only just arrived at the beach house and he’d only just met Michael and his dream vacation is ending all too soon.

He wishes he could drop his plan. He wants to give up on college and stay here with Michael. They could spend their whole days at the beach or at the bar, he could be a bartender. They’d live here together forever and Luke will never have to say goodbye. He doesn’t think he’ll be able to say goodbye, when the time comes.

Michael is the best thing that’s ever happened to him. He fell in love with him so quickly and he’s never loved someone as much as he loves Michael. Michael’s his first love, and secretly, he hopes he’s gonna be his last. Michael is so many things to him; his best friend, his first love, his first time. He’s not ready to let it go. Not ready to let Michael go.

They’re not saying goodbye for good, it’s not a breakup and they’ve already promised to Skype four times a day and visit each other at least once a month, but it’s not the same as having Michael close. He’s not gonna be able to get used to sleeping alone, without a securing arm wrapped around him, he’s not gonna be able to wake up and smile because he’s in Michael’s arms, he’s not gonna be able to kiss or touch him whenever he feels like it.

There’s also another terrifying thought floating around his mind; what if Michael gets tired of being so far away from Luke? What if he finds someone better? Luke wouldn’t be able to blame him. Who wants to have to deal with a boyfriend who lives so far away?

But he can’t let that get to him, he has to stay positive and believe that one day they are going to be able to have a future together.

***

They all head down to the beach once Michael’s fully awake and Calum is done throwing a tantrum about how much he hates Luke and Michael.

They run into the water and splash each other and act like complete children. Then they just lay down in the sun, Michael and Luke all wrapped up in each other while Ashton’s reading a book on the towel next to them and Calum’s talking to a girl he decides he likes, making her laugh and smile.

Eventually they decide they’re gonna stay and watch the sunset. Calum disappears with the girl and Ashton lets Luke and Michael know he’s gonna go get them some ice cream. No one objects, of course.

Luke’s sitting between Michael’s legs, back flush against Michael’s chest, Michael’s chin hooked over Luke’s shoulder.

“What’re you thinking about?” Michael whispers right into Luke’s ear, his warm breath making Luke’s skin tingle. He shrugs.

“Next week. Thinking about how I’m gonna have to leave you.” Luke says quietly, knowing he’s not gonna be able to keep his voice from breaking for much longer. It physically hurts his chest just thinking about it. Michael’s arms tighten around Luke’s middle, pulling him impossibly closer.

“I love you, you know?” Michael whispers into Luke’s ear again before he moves his lips to kiss the skin right under it. It knocks the breath out of Luke.

“I love you too.” Luke barely manages to choke out.

“There’s something else, right?” Michael asks as he rubs the side of his face against Luke’s, making Luke’s stomach turn. Luke nods.

“What is it? Please, talk to me. We can figure it out, whatever it is.” Luke takes a deep breath, not daring to move away from Michael. He doesn’t think he can have this conversation while looking at Michael, for once he’s glad he has his back to him.

“Please don’t get mad,” Luke stars and he feels Michael’s whole body tense against his and he feels horrible. “I’m scared, Mikey.”

And then he’s crying and he hates himself for it. Why can’t he have one full conversation about his feelings without crying? He wishes he could be stronger than that, he wishes he could just look Michael in the eye and tell him what’s bothering him without acting like a coward.

“I’m really scared you’ll get tired of waiting. What if you find someone else, someone better?” Luke’s voice breaks and he brings his hands up to his face, covering his eyes. He’s embarrassed and scared and all he wants is to be held by Michael forever.

“Luke,” Michael says, trying to spin Luke around by the shoulders. “Luke, please.” So Luke gives up, he drops his shoulders in defeat and turns to face Michael, hands still covering his eyes.

Michael reaches up and grabs Luke’s hands, not forcefully pulling them away, he just places his hands on top of Luke’s, waiting to see if Luke’s gonna let go. And he does, he lets Michael’s hands pull his away. He looks up to meet Michael’s beautiful, green eyes.

“I know it’s scary, this whole thing it’s just… it’s horrible, Luke. I don’t want you to leave, I want to have you here by my side all the time. I want to be able to kiss and hug you or hold your hand whenever I want to. But we know what we got into when we started this, right?”

Michael pauses and Luke realizes he wants confirmation that Luke’s listening and understanding what he’s saying. So Luke nods, not tearing his eyes away from Michael’s. Michael reaches out and grabs a hold of Luke’s hand and it’s so familiar. It makes Luke feel safe, makes him feel like everything’s gonna be okay.

“I’m not going to get tired of waiting, I’m not going to find someone better. What I _am_ going to do is wait for us to Skype all day and get excited every time we text and I am going to get excited about every visit and I am going to be excited when we finally figured it out and find a solution for this. I’m not going to quit on this relationship, and I really hope that you aren’t either. I love you, Luke. It’s not going to go away anytime soon.”

Luke is speechless as he stares into Michael’s eyes, he finds them watering. If Michael starts crying too, he sure as hell won’t be able to stop.

“I-Mikey,” Luke pauses and shifts closer to Michael so he’s in his lap, legs on both sides of him, faces so close that their noses are touching. “I love you so, so much. I’m sorry if it sounded like I doubted you, I’m not. I’m just… I’m scared.”

Michael doesn’t say anything, he just nods like he knows, like he understands, and he probably does. Michael has never failed in doing that, he reads Luke like an open book. And Luke loves that, he loves that he doesn’t always have to say things, it just takes one look or one gesture and Michael would understand.

He loves their relationship and he’s never letting that go. He’s going to fight for them to work.

“I love you. I love you so fucking much, and I’m not giving up on us.” Luke says before he presses his lips to Michael’s. It isn’t gentle, it’s all teeth and tongue and it’s needy and passionate and Luke loves it.

He bites on Michael’s bottom lip and they both moan into each other mouth before Luke places both hands on Michael’s chest, pushing him down to his back to the sand so Luke’s straddling him, leaning down into him, not daring to break the kiss.

“You guys do realize it’s illegal to have sex on the beach, right?” Ashton says from somewhere above them, so Luke’s forced to break the kiss and sit up, still straddling Michael’s waist. He totally forgot they were on the beach.

“Shit, are you okay?” Ashton’s eyes go wide when Luke looks up at him. For a second he completely forgets that he was crying like a baby two minutes ago. His eyes are probably huge and red. He wipes under them and nods.

“Are you sure?” Ashton crouches down next to them, looking between them. But Luke just nods again.

“I got him.” Michael says, stroking Luke’s thigh.

Luke looks down at him and into his eyes, the ones he loves so much. And he doesn’t doubt Michael’s words for a second.


	15. forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So as promised, it didn't take me 5 years to update this time!! We're nearing the end which is sad yet exciting, i can't believe how far this fic has gone tbh. Anyway, enjoy!!

***

It’s their last week.

It’s the last week he’s going to spend with Michael, last week he’s going to be able to spend his whole day at the beach and do absolutely nothing, last week he’s going to be able to kiss Michael, last week he’s going to spend at Wonderland, last week he’s going to be at the beach house.

There are so many lasts, it makes Luke’s stomach turn as he stares down at his breakfast, shoving the soggy cornflakes around in his bowl, not even considering taking one bite. Michael seems to notice.

“Babe?” Michael asks quietly, not wanting to alert Calum and Ashton who are sitting just across the table from them, consumed in some stupid argument over which actor is hotter or something silly like that, that Luke doesn’t really care about at the moment.

He lifts his eyes up from his cereal, looking at Michael. “Yeah?”

“Are you feeling alright? You haven’t touched your cereal.”” Michael questions and Luke sees the way his eyes examine Luke’s every feature and he feels even worse. He doesn’t want to worry him and he doesn’t want to be this sad, bitter baby during their last week together. They’re supposed to be happy and they’re supposed to cherish every moment they have left before Luke has to pack his bags and leave Michael behind.

“’m not hungry,” Luke mumbles, dropping his spoon back into his bowl, making a couple drops of milk splash onto the table, wetting a bit of Luke’s arm too. He doesn’t even care.

“Luke…” Michael says softly, poking Luke’s cheek with his nose. Luke’s eyes flutter shut as he leans into Michael. “Don’t be sad. We need to make the best out of this week.”

And Luke knows he’s right, he really does, but it doesn’t ease the heavy feeling in his chest or the lump in his throat. He feels like he might start sobbing if he even dares to open his mouth, so he stays silent, just leaning into Michael’s touch as he leaves small, sweet kisses all over Luke’s face.

“Luke?” Calum asks, making Luke open his eyes. He can hear the worry in his voice.

“Are you okay?” Ashton joins in, sending a questioning look in Luke’s direction. Luke looks at them and tries to force a smile as he nods his head, hoping they wouldn’t ask any more questions. But he knows damn well that’s not what his friends are like.

“Luke, please, what is it?” Calum’s by his side now, the one that isn’t occupied by Michael. Luke looks up at him and he can see the way his eyes are wide with concern, Ashton not too far behind. Now he feels even worse.

“I don’t want to leave.” Luke chokes out, his hand reaching down blindly, searching for Michael’s own hand. Michael seems to understand what Luke’s doing so he catches Luke’s roaming hand and laces their fingers together, giving Luke’s hand a tight, reassuring squeeze.

“Luke…” Ashton’s voice is full of concern and Luke feels pathetic. He’s tired of being this immature, oversensitive baby that everyone feels sorry for. He’s tired of not being able to ever approach a situation in a mature way, he’s always thinking about the worst scenarios instead of staying positive and hopeful.

“’s fine. I’m fine.” Luke mutters quietly before getting up, dropping Michael’s hand and moving towards the door. He has no idea where he’s going, but he knows he doesn’t want to stay here and have his friends and boyfriend pity him like he’s some helpless child.

“Where are you going?” Calum asks as Luke slips his feet into his flip flops, opening the door. He looks back to find the three of them standing there, staring at him with wide eyes. Luke simply shrugs.

“Don’t know. Be back later.” Is all he says before he slams the door behind him.

It’s noon, so it isn’t surprising that the sun is at its peak, making Luke’s skin feel like it’s on fire.  He sighs to himself as he shoves his hands into his shorts’ pockets, looking down at his feet as he walks. He has no idea where he’s headed or what he’s going to do all by himself but he knows he can’t spend another second in the house.

It’s not his friends’ fault and it isn’t Michael’s either, it’s entirely his fault. He can’t control his feelings, he doesn’t know how to ignore the feeling of something heavy weighting his chest and he doesn’t know how to stop himself from crying every time he thinks about saying goodbye to Michael.

It seems ridiculous; Luke and Michael had only known each other for two months. Somehow over the span of these eight weeks Luke and Michael managed to meet, become friends, then best friends. Then, they developed feelings for each other and before either of them realized they are both head over heels for each other.

It’s strange, Luke thinks, how could someone fall in love so quickly? He’s never been in love before. He had liked people, he had had a boyfriend and a girlfriend that he really liked and cared about, but he was never in love. Not until right now.

Michael is his first love. Luke wants him to be his last one too.

***

Luke’s feet had carried him to the hidden piece of beach Michael had taken him to a few times before, he likes to consider it their place since they’re the only ones who know about it.

He lies there on his back with his eyes closed, just listening to the waves crashing and the sound of his own breathing has he thinks about everything that’s happened in the past two months.

Suddenly, he really wishes Michael was there to hold him. Luke realizes he doesn’t like being alone, he never has, but this is worse. He wants Michael around, he wants him to hold his hand and kiss him, he wants him to tell him stupid jokes that would make Luke crack up and laugh for hours and hours and he wants to look into Michael’s eyes.

Just when he decides it’s time to stop feeling sorry for himself and head back, he hears feet shuffling in the sand behind him. He doesn’t need to look to know who it is.

He sits up, craning his neck back to look at him. He’s so beautiful in the sun, his pale skin seems like it’s glowing and his eyes glistening, seeming brighter in the intense light. His hair seems to glow too, it seems softer and the blue stands out in the yellow background.

“How did you know I was here?” Luke asks, twisting his lips ring around subconsciously as Michael drops down beside him, shooting him a small smile.

“I had a feeling,” He says and Luke hums, shifting closer to Michael’s warm, familiar body, resting his head on Michael’s shoulder.

“Do you want to go back to the beach house?” Michael asks, reaching out for Luke’s hand and lacing their fingers together. Luke shakes his head against Michael’s shoulder.

“Okay,” Michael says before he moves his head to rest on top of Luke’s. “Do you want to go back to my place?” He asks, but Luke shakes his head again.

“Okay,” Michael repeats with a nod, squeezing Luke’s hand. “We can stay here, there’s no rush. We have all the time in the world.”

Luke wants to cry.

***

After a good hour of them sitting in silence, just watching the waves, Michael occasionally humming song lyrics in Luke’s ear, Luke decides that he needs Michael. He needs him right there and then.

“Hey, Mikey?” Luke asks quietly, not lifting his head from Michael’s shoulder as he smirks to himself.

“Yeah, babe?”

“Wanna make out?” Michael’s body tenses against Luke as he looks down at him, eyes squinting as he examines Luke’s face. Luke just shrugs.

“Why do you wanna make out right now?” Michael’s eyebrows rise in suspicion, making Luke laugh. He sits up, folding his legs beneath him so he can look at Michael properly.

“Distraction,” Luke smirks, knowing it’d coax a groan out of Michael. And it does. “The best kind.” He adds as he leans into Michael, pecking his lips quickly, just to test the water.

“So basically, you’re using me for my body,” Michael says with a fake-offended tone as he leans into Luke and kisses him, another chaste peck on the lips.

“I could use someone else’s body, if you’d prefer that.” Luke tries to fake a serious voice but he fails because Michael’s eyes widen as he gasps dramatically, his hand slapping against his mouth. Luke rolls his eyes, but he can’t suppress the fond giggle that slips out of his mouth as he watches Michael’s overdramatic show.

“I could set you up with one of my hot friends, if that’s what you want…” Michael says with yet another dramatic sigh, making Luke laugh even harder. Luke is certain that Michael’s pulling this whole play for Luke’s benefit, to make him laugh and to cheer him up. He doesn’t mind.

“I met a guy I really like, you see, maybe you even know him,” Luke starts, moving just an inch closer to Michael, their knees bumping.

“Mhm?” Michael hums as Luke slowly moves closer.

“He’s got crazy hair, he dyes it a lot. It’s blue now, but it was red before,” Luke says as his body keeps sliding across the sand until there’s no room to move anymore. “His eyes are green, the most beautiful shade I’ve ever seen. But that’s just my opinion, yeah?” he says as he wraps his arms around Michael’s neck, climbing into his lap.

“He has the most kissable lips I have ever seen, they’re so red and beautiful. I can never resist it around him, I always just wanna grab him and kiss him, if he’s alright with that, of course.” Luke smirks, his forehead now resting against Michael’s, their noses bumping and their lips brushing.

“So?” Luke asks, he knows Michael can feel the vibrations on his lips.

“So what?” Michael tilts his head to the side in confusion, making Luke chuckle.

“So, do you know who I’m talking about? Could you set me up with him?” Luke likes teasing Michael like that, beating him in his own game. But the truth is, he doesn’t know how much longer he can refrain from kissing Michael, their lips touching every time one of them speaks.

“I might be able to, I’ll get back to you on that,” Michael smiles, rolling his eyes fondly. “Can we make out in the meantime?”

Luke sighs, making it as dramatic and loud as he can on purpose. “I guess so…”

Michael chuckles before crashing his lips onto Luke’s, wrapping his arms around Luke’s middle, pulling him as close to him as he can. And Luke doesn’t resist Michael’s tight grip. Luke loves it when Michael seems to think that there’s always room to pull him closer even though there’s really no space left between them whatsoever. He loves when Michael holds him, it makes him feel loved and cared for, and most of all, safe.

Luke feels Michael lick at his bottom lip, tugging on it and pulling on his lip ring gently, wanting Luke to open his mouth and let Michael slip his tongue in. Normally, Luke would tease Michael and won’t let him do that for a while, but right now Luke’s feeling needy and desperate and he wants Michael so bad.

So he opens his mouth, just a little bit so Michael can shove his tongue in. When he finally does, he slides his tongue with Luke’s, making Luke moan into his mouth.

“God, I want you.” Luke breathlessly groans, pushing Michael by his chest so he’s lying with his back on the sand and Luke’s straddling his waist, looking down at him with hungry eyes.

“What do you wanna do?” Luke asks, looking down at Michael. They can’t have sex like this, for several reasons. They don’t have lube or a condom, plus, Luke’s never tired that before but he assumes that fucking on the beach will lead to sand in places you don’t want sand to be.

“I’ve got something in mind,” Michael says and before Luke knows it there are two hands grabbing his thighs and in one swift move, Michael flips them over so Luke’s back is on the sand and Michael’s straddling his hips.

Michael smirks before leaning down, pressing his lips to Luke’s, his hands reaching down and under Luke’s shirt, pushing it up as his hands touch every bit of Luke’s skin. His stomach, his chest, his nipples, his collar bones, making Luke shiver with every move of his hand.

“Mikey…”  It’s a plea and Luke knows Michael knows, he knows how much Michael loves it when he begs. “Please.”

“You’re so beautiful…my beautiful boy. You look so hot when you’re like that, sweaty and begging for me. I love that. I love _you_.” Michael murmurs before kissing Luke again, the free hand that he isn’t using to support his weight moves down and skillfully undoes the knot of Luke’s shorts so he can shove his hand in.

“Fuck.” Luke hisses as Michael doesn’t even tease him, he simply grabs his already hard cock and starts pumping, peppering kisses all over Luke’s face.

Luke’s eyes flutter shut as he moans, hips bucking up to meet Michael’s fist. He feels like it’s only them in the world, he wants this feeling to never end. Michael’s body above his, his lips touching everywhere, his fist pumping and his wrist twisting, his thumb sliding across Luke’s slit just in time.

Luke wants it to last forever, but he feels his orgasm approaching quickly as he can’t control his hips, fucking into Michael’s fist as he whimpers and pants, Michael’s name slipping past his lips every other thrust.

“Mikey…I’m gonna-“ Luke doesn’t get to finish that because Michael’s kissing him again, hard.

“Are you gonna come for me, Lukey?” Michael’s voice is so low and raspy Luke thinks he might lose consciousness. “C’mon.”

And then Michael twists his wrist in the right angle and Luke can’t hold it anymore, his back arches and he’s coming with a cry of Michael’s name, nails digging into Michael’s arm and back.

“Good boy.” Michael growls in Luke’s ear and he thinks he might just die right there. Luke discovered that he had a thing for Michael praising him one time when he was sucking Michael off and Michael called him his ‘good boy’ and Luke moaned around Michael. Michael knew then that Luke likes praising.

“Your turn?” Luke asks when he’s finally able to open his eyes. He looks down and nearly swallows his tongue.

Michael’s got one hand on the ground and the other digging into Luke’s right thigh and he uses that hand to support his body as he grinds down against Luke’s thigh. It takes Luke’s post-orgasm brain a full ten seconds to realize that Michael is literally humping his thigh.

“Oh my God,” Luke moans, he could come again just by looking at Michael. “This is- You are- God, you’re fucking hot.” Luke seems to have lost control over his mouth. He decides that he needs to be touching Michael right now.

He reaches down and tangles one hand in Michael’s soft hair, the other coming to rest on his arm, nails digging into it once more. When he feels Luke’s hand touch him, Michael looks up, meeting Luke’s eyes.

He pulls himself up so his hands are resting on Luke’s shoulders as he pushes his face into Luke’s neck, his hot breath hitting Luke’s tingling skin with every moan.

“Luke…” Michael pants and Luke knows that tone, he knows Michael’s gonna come. So he tugs on Michael’s hair, not hard enough to make it painful, but hard enough to make him moan.

“I’m gonna-gonna come.” Michael whines desperately and Luke grabs Michael’s cheeks, pulling him in for a kiss. And Michael’s coming, from riding Luke’s thigh, and Luke thinks it’s the most beautiful sight he’s ever seen. And he loves the little whimpers that are escaping Michael’s mouth and Luke feels so overwhelmed.

When Michael comes down from his high he slumps against Luke’s body and Luke hugs him tightly.

“I got you.” Luke repeats the phrase Michael’s said to him so many times before. It’s so comforting and as always, it makes Luke feel safe, it makes him feel like he belongs. And he does, he belongs with Michael just like Michael belongs with him.

“Hey, Lukey?” Michael mumbles against Luke’s neck, making his lips crack up into a smile.

“Yes, Mikey?”

“We just came in our pants.” Michael giggles, which is contagious, so Luke starts giggling too.

“We did, didn’t we?” Luke says, petting Michael’s hair.

“Yeah,” Michael sighs and straightens up so he can cup Luke’s face, pulling him into a gentle kiss. “And it was awesome.”

***

Luke and Michael head back to the beach house after sunset, walking hand in hand and talking about everything and nothing at all.

Luke loves the way Michael’s thumb mindlessly traces shapes into the skin of Luke’s palm, he loves the way Michael occasionally looks up at Luke and smiles at him and he loves that he never fails to smile back. He loves that they can spend hours together and never get bored, even if they’re not talking. It’s never awkward or uncomfortable, it’s always easy and simple. Being with Michael is so simple, so familiar.

When they get to the beach house they slip into the shower together. They take their time under the warm water, washing the sand away. Luke tangles his hands in Michael’s hair, helping him wash it and then Michael does the same for him. Michael wraps his arms around Luke and holds him close, kissing him and whispering sweet nothings in his ear.

After they shower they go downstairs and have dinner with Ashton and Calum in front of the TV, watching yet another stupid movie none of them really care about. It doesn’t matter though, Luke still has fun.

Luke has his best friends and his boyfriend, what else can he possibly need? He wishes they could stay like this forever; Ashton and Calum fighting over the last eggroll as Luke and Michael sit together, cuddled up in a pile of limbs, watching the stupid fight that’s going on, on the other couch, laughing their asses off.

Everything feels perfect, everything feels so, so good. Luke wishes their time wasn’t running out as he looks down at his boyfriend, eyes squinting as he laughs, hands wrapped securely around him.

Luke wants to stay like that _forever_.


	16. we're taking the long way home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so first of all i have to say that this is the last chapter before the epilogue and i can't believe how far this fic has come! it's my first full length fic and i can't believe i actually manged to finish it. i gained so many amazing readers and received incredible comments that never refuse to make me smile, so thank you!!
> 
> also, i have to point out that this chapter's title means the world to me because it's a line from long way home, as you probably know, and it's my favorite song in the whole world. it fit perfectly and it means so much to me so i decided to go for it.
> 
> anyway, i hope you enjoy this chapter!!

Tomorrow is their last day. Ashton said they’re leaving once they’re all packed and ready and Luke feels the stabbing pain in his chest and the lump in his throat already. He has been on the verge of tears for the past week.

He doesn’t want to spend their last full day crying into Michael’s chest or sulking in front of the TV, he wants this day to be memorable. He wants them to have fun and do something special that’ll leave them with a nice last memory until they can visit each other.

Luke wakes up before Michael, which is never surprising. He lifts his head from Michael’s chest that is rising and falling evenly and quietly and he uses the free hand that isn’t holding Michael’s to stroke Michael’s hair out of his face. His hair is getting so long and the blue is fading, he’ll probably dye it soon.

Luke secretly hopes Michael would ask him what color he should dye it next or maybe offer to wait until he and Luke can meet again so he can help him dye it like they did last time. But he’s in no position to make any demands.

Once he gets all the soft hair out of Michael’s closed eyes, he moves his hand down to trace shapes on Michael’s cheek gently. Michael is so beautiful and Luke wonders how he got so lucky. He surely doesn’t deserve someone as amazing, beautiful and talented and Michael.

Michel stirs in his sleep, rolling onto his side so he’s lying face to face with Luke, eyes fluttering open slowly. When he notices that Luke is watching him, the corners of his mouth tug up in a sleepy smile before he stifles a yawn.

“Morning, babe.” Michael croaks as he rubs sleep out of his eyes.

“Hey,” Luke smiles back, untangling his hand from Michael’s so he can sit up with his back against the headboard, looking down at Michael who is still recovering from having to wake up. Michael hates waking up.

“Were you watching me sleep?” Michael cocks an eyebrow and smirks, knowing his question is going to get Luke all flustered even though _Michael_ watches _him_ sleep all the time and Luke never mentions it.

“You always watch me sleep,” Luke pouts, crossing his arms over his chest like a child. “’sides, it’s almost the last time I’ll get to do that until who knows when.” Luke says, realizing his fake-offended tone became a real, sad one. Michael sighs and pushes himself up so he’s sitting next to Luke, shoulders pressed up together.

“Luke, no. Don’t think that. We have one full day together and we’re not gonna spend it in your room crying,” Michael says, pushing the duvet off his body and throwing his legs off the bed.

“I have a plan for us for today, we’re gonna have so much fun.” Michael says over his shoulder before he’s up on his feet, moving in the direction of the bathroom.

***

“What are you guys up to today?” Ashton asks when Luke enters the kitchen, Michael following close by. Luke shrugs, throwing Michael a questioning look.

“Michael won’t tell me.” Luke says, grabbing a steamy mug of coffee before sitting down on one of the stools, waiting for Michael to take the seat beside his which he never fails to do.

“It wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you, now would it?” Michael’s tone is taunting and mocking and Luke wants to kiss the smug smirk off his face, but Ashton is just taking a seat right in front of them and Luke doesn’t want to third wheel him like they’d done so many times before. So he simply settles for squeezing Michael’s thigh under the table.

“Where’s Cal?” Luke asks, blowing over his hot cup of coffee before taking a small sip, tying not to burn his tongue.

“Down at the beach, he woke up early so he can jog before it gets too hot.” Ashton says, hands clutched around his mug like he’s trying to warm his hands even though it isn’t even remotely cold in the house.

“So, you’re going to be out all day?” Ashton asks, looking at Michael.

“Pretty much, yeah,” he says. “But I thought we could all meet up for dinner, if you want?” it comes out as a question and not an offer or a suggestion but Luke is happy. He had really hoped they could all have one last dinner together and maybe watch a movie like they’d done so many times before.

“Sounds good, I’ll tell Calum when he’s back,” Ashton nods, looking at Luke and flashing him a small, apologetic smile.

Luke knows they all feel bad for him, that he has to leave Michael and it makes him feel so bad because he doesn’t want everyone to worry about him instead of worrying about spending their last day here doing something fun.

“Today’s gonna be great.” He says with the biggest forced-grin he can muster.

***

“Is the blindfold really necessary?” Luke groans for what must be the thousandth time since they left the beach house, Michael insisting on Luke wearing one of Ashton’s bandanas over his eyes and taking his hand, not forgetting to whisper a ‘don’t worry I got you’ in his ear before they start walking, Michael leading the way, trying to make sure Luke doesn’t stumble into anything or fall into a hole, that’s totally expected with Luke.

Thankfully, Michael is at least considerate enough to not force Luke to walk around town wearing a bandana over his eyes, looking like an idiot, so they take Michael’s car and Luke won’t quit asking where they’re going, hoping Michael would crack and tell him eventually even though Luke knows he’s not going to.

“I’m not gonna tell you, Luke,” Michael chuckles, placing a hand on Luke’s thigh. “But you can keep asking if it makes you feel better.”

The rest of the ride is quiet except for Michael who’s singing along to whatever song is on the radio while Luke sulks and tries to pretend Michael’s dramatic singing isn’t making him laugh.

“Can you wait here five minutes?” Michael asks when the car stops. “But you have to promise not to ruin the surprise, don’t take the bandana off.”

Luke can’t find it in himself to say no or ruin something that Michael obviously put some thought into doing for Luke so he nods and rolls his eyes fondly behind the bandana even though Michael can’t see.

And it really doesn’t take him more than five minutes to come back and open the car door for Luke, taking his hand and guiding him out. Luke can smell the ocean and the wind hits his face, pushing his hair back as they leave the car and walk to wherever their destination is.

They stop in front of a door Michael opens for him, guiding him inside. The place is air conditioned and Michael chuckles to himself as they keep walking. And then there’s a ‘ding’ and they’re stepping into an elevator and everything is very familiar to Luke, he knows he’s been there before but he can’t put his finger on it as the elevator carries them down.

“Almost there, babe,” Michael says and Luke can practically hear the excitement in his voice and it makes his heart swell, he’s trying so hard just for him. He wants to make this day something special and Luke is so grateful.

There’s another ‘ding’ and Luke hears the elevator doors swing open and then Michael’s tugging on his hand, pulling him out.

“I’m gonna take the bandana off now,” Michael says, letting go of Luke’s hand and letting it drop by his side before he moves around Luke so he’s standing behind him, undoing the tie on the bandana and pulling it off.

“Michael…” Luke barely manages as his eyes adjust to the dimly lit room.

They’re in the aquarium, the one they went to on Luke’s second there here, the day after they first met in Wonderland. Unlike the first time, the lights are off and the huge room is lit by ultraviolet lights, making all the fish behind the glass glow. When Luke looks behind Michael he sees a picnic basket on the floor, two lit candles sitting next to it.

“Do you like it?” Michael asks and at first Luke thinks he’s joking. But then Luke actually looks down at Michael and he’s got this look in his eyes, like he’s really desperate for Luke’s confirmation and Luke’s heart thumps louder and faster in his chest. Michael is too much sometimes.

“Are you kidding? Mikey, this…God, this is so amazing,” Luke says, moving closer to Michael, wrapping his arms around him. “No one’s ever done anything like this for me before. I love you.” Luke brushes his lips over Michael’s soft ones, not really kissing, just teasing.

“I love you too.” Michael whispers against Luke, making him shiver before he presses his lips to Michael’s, kissing him properly. His hands move up to tug on Michael’s hair and Michael has his hands hooked in Luke’s jeans loops and he’s pulling him closer.

Luke sighs into Michael’s mouth. He’s so happy, this is the best experience he’s ever had and he’s having the time of his life. He wishes it didn’t have to end so soon.

“Are you alright?” Michael asks, pulling back for air and Luke nods, letting his hands drop from Michael’s hair to his shoulders, petting him through his shirt with his thumbs.

“I’m just happy. You make me really happy, Michael.” Luke says, feeling that lump in his throat forming all over again. Michael’s eyes flutter shut for a second and he just smiles. It’s a small, gentle smile but Luke understands.

“I love you. These past two months have been the best of my life, Luke. You make me more than happy, honestly. I’m so glad we met and I don’t know how I got so lucky to fall in love with someone like you.” Michael’s voice is barely a soft whisper and it’s breaking Luke’s heart.

“I don’t want to cry,” Luke chokes, already trying to swallow a hiccup. He’s always so emotional, he cries so easily. Especially when it comes to Michael.

“Don’t cry, please. I love you, baby,” Michael coos, pulling Luke into his chest where he rests his cheek, sobbing into the fabric of Michael’s shirt while Michael strokes his back and hair and whispers sweet nothings into his ear.

“I-I’m sorry, Mikey…I ruined this day, I’m sorry.” Luke sniffs, fisting Michael’s shirt, shoving his face further into his chest and inhaling his scent deeply. He hates being the one who kills the mood, he wanted to have fun with Michael he wanted this day to be amazing. Instead, he’s literally sobbing into Michael’s shirt instead of enjoying the most romantic, thoughtful gesture anyone’s ever made for him.

Michael pushes Luke back gently, holding onto his shoulders so he can look at him, flashing a familiar, comforting smile.

“You didn’t ruin anything, Luke. It’s okay to be sad, hell, I’m fucking sad. I’m devastated, I’m just playing it tough for you,” he pauses and chuckles as one of his hands moves up from Luke’s shoulder to his cheek, cupping it.

“This day is all about _us_. We can cry and be sad, it’s allowed, it’s okay. We’re going to mix the sadness with some fun though.” He says softly, leaving a short, quick and comforting kiss to Luke’s mouth, leaving him wanting more.

“Now, let’s go have lunch.” He grins, kissing Luke’s cheek and grabbing his hand, pulling him down to sit on the blanket and have the amazing, romantic lunch Michael made for them.

Luke can’t believe Michael is real and his.

***

“Are you gonna blindfold me again?” Luke asks with a giggle once they’re out of the aquarium. The sun is slowly setting as they walk down the street and find Michael’s car, climbing in.

“Ha, ha, you’re so funny.” Michael mutters, buckling his seatbelt. “We’re going to the beach,” Michael says before starting the car, pulling out of the parking lot and hitting the road.

“So, we’re recreating our first days together?” Luke asks and he’s half joking, but not really. He has a feeling Michael’s doing it on purpose, taking him to all the special places they shared their first moments together.

“Are you complaining?” Michael raises an eyebrow, sticking his tongue out in Luke’s direction, making him giggle.

“I wouldn’t dare.” Luke responds, reaching out and lacing his fingers with Michael as he stares out the window and into the view that is nothing but the ocean, the salty wind hitting his face. Every moment of this day feels perfect and Luke never wants it to end.

When they get to their little piece of beach, the one they went to on Luke’s first day, the day he met Michael. He remembers them chasing each other around in the sand and he remembers liking Michael instantly and praying that he’d ever get a chance with him. He remembers nearly fainting when Michael got undressed and ran into the water or how he rubbed his hands over Luke’s wet skin to keep him warm.

“You good?” Michael asks as they walk hand in hand out of the car, walking closer to the waterline. Luke nods.

“I just remembered our first night here,” Luke says as Michael drops Luke’s hand, grabbing the hem of his shirt and pulling it over his head, so Luke follows suit. “I liked you even then, even when I had only just met you.”

Michael bites his lip but stays quiet as he kicks off his shoes and undoes his skinnies, pushing them down his legs and into the sand, Luke not too far behind. When they’re both undressed, still silent, Michael takes Luke’s hand again and they walk into the water.

They spend an hour in the water, the mood getting lighter when Michael splashes Luke and a whole battle begins and they chase each other around in the water, splashing water everywhere and tripping over their own feet.

 

The sun had just set when they get too cold and get out of the water, dropping down on their backs in the sand, staring at the blackening sky, holding hands, as expected.

“Luke?” Michael asks quietly. Luke knows the tone.

“Hm?” he hums, letting Michael know he’s listening. Michael rolls to his side, so Luke does the same so they’re facing each other, looking into each other’s eyes in the darkness, only the moon lighting up the abandoned beach.

“I want to promise you something,” he start, eyes dropping to their linked hands. “I want to promise you that I’ll visit you on your birthday. I know it’s in quite a long time, a couple of months, but I’ll save up some money so I can get a plane ticket and fly out to you and celebrate your birthday with you. I even have a present in mind.” Luke feels his throat closing up, he doesn’t want to have to wait so long, he doesn’t want to leave Michael. But he still nods. There’s nothing they can do.

“I would love that. I’m sorry I can’t pitch in, I’ll try to save up as much as I can and help get a ticket but I don’t know how much time I’ll have with college and-“ Luke gets cut off by Michael’s lips on his, sliding slowly and gently to shut him up.

“I’m not taking your money. I have a nice amount saved up from Wonderland, I don’t spend much anyway. I don’t want you to spend any money on this, just let me handle it. Okay?” Michael smiles against Luke’s lips, noses bumping. Luke nods.

“I love you so much. Did you know that?” Luke giggles, rubbing his nose against Michael’s, Eskimo kissing him.

“I think I knew, yeah.” Michael rolls his eyes fondly, pressing his lips to Luke’s.

***

They meet Calum and Ashton at the house and decide that they should all shower and get ready and they’ll find a nice restaurant to have dinner at and then head down to Wonderland and get drunk enough to forget that they’re leaving tomorrow.

Michael and Luke hop into the shower together. It isn’t even about sex in the shower anymore, it’s just them being so used to showering together, the water washing out the sand and salt out of their hair and skin as they wash each other’s hair and soap each other up. Luke’s never felt so intimate or close to anyone like that before.

They help each other dry themselves in Luke’s room, Michael running the towel over Luke’s hair a hundred times to make sure he doesn’t go out with his hair wet and catches a cold. It makes Luke’s heart swell in his chest, Michael’s so concerned about him, even when it’s completely unnecessary.

When they all meet up back at the living room, showered and ready to leave, Michael says he’ll drive and he takes them to his favorite restaurant. It isn’t a surprise that they’re greeted like they’re the owner’s best friends when they arrive. Everyone around this town loves Michael, it dazzles Luke.

They have a long dinner where they’re just exchanging stories and experiences from the past two months until they agree that they’re not drunk enough to get emotional. No one wants to say goodbye to this place.

They decide to walk from the restaurant to Wonderland because it’s a short way and the weather is great, so they all walk together, laughing and giggling.

Once in Wonderland, Michael fixes them all up with drinks and after they’ve finished a full tequila bottle together they head out to the dance floor, Michael’s chest pressed flush against Luke’s back as they dance together.

“Look at them,” Michael suddenly talks into Luke’s ear, his breath tickling Luke’s skin and making him shiver, but he looks up, searching for whoever Michael’s talking about. And then he spots Ashton and Calum and all he can do is smirk to himself knowingly.

Ashton has his hands around Calum’s waist, holding him close, while Calum’s hands are resting behind Ashton’s neck, playing with the soft hair there as they move slowly from side to side, not even paying attention to the loud electronic music.

“Ten bucks they kiss by the end of the night,” Michel chuckles by Luke’s ear and he laughs.

“Twenty bucks they kiss by the end of the song.” Luke dares, both of them bursting into laughter but they never stop dancing, bodies always touching.

***

Luke and Michael are stumbling their way up the stairs to Michael’s apartment, stopping every two seconds to press their lips together. It’s like they’re physically unable to stop touching each other for more than ten seconds.

When they reach Michael’s door Luke finds himself pressed against it, Michael’s hands all over his body. But before Michael can go any further Luke stops him, placing a hand on his chest and gently pushing him back, wanting to look at him.

“Are you okay?” Michael instantly asks and Luke reassures him quickly by nodding.

“Can I ask you something?” Luke’s voice is low and quiet. Michael nods, eyes widening in concern.

“Do you think tonight, I could, you know, we could…switch?” Luke slides his tongue over his lips, wetting them as he blinks at Michael nervously.

“Would you really want that?” Michael’s eyes widen even more. It’s Luke’s turn to nod, cheeks flaring up.

“Of course, yeah, fuck. That’d be so hot.” Michael frames Luke’s body with his own, sliding their lips together.

Michael reaches into his pocket, not detaching himself from Luke as he fishes out his apartment keys, finally breaking the kiss to unlock the door, pulling Luke inside. It takes less than five minutes for Michael to get Luke naked, spread out on the bed with Michael on top, his lips kissing every inch of Luke’s bare skin.

Michael is just in the middle of sucking another purple mark into Luke’s inner thigh when he finally snaps, pulling on Michael’s hair, catching his attention.

“Get on your back.” He says lowly. He has no idea where the sudden burst of courage came from but he’s grateful because Michael seems to be liking it and Luke’s hard and needs Michael right now.

“Bossy,” Michael kisses Luke’s thigh before lifting himself up and rolling onto his back, legs spread and ready for Luke. “I love it.” He winks and Luke groans, diving down and pressing his lips to Michael’s.

He blindly reaches down between them, wrapping a hand around Michael’s hard cock, pumping it a few times. Michael moans into Luke’s mouth, back arching from the mattress. Luke’s hand slides down from Michael’s shaft and down to his balls, giving them a quick squeeze before he runs a finger around Michael’s hole, teasing.

Michael groans and whines under Luke and into his open mouth, making Luke impossibly harder and more turned on. He decides that he might like topping as much as he does bottoming.

“Luke…” Michael whines and Luke knows what he wants. So he gets up and reaches behind him for Michael’s nightstand drawer, pulling out a bottle of lube. He squirts some of the sticky lube onto his fingers, slicking them up before crouching between Michael’s spread legs, looking up at him.

“Okay?” he asks, like Michael’s done countless times before. Michael nods and reaches down to tangle his hand in Luke’s soft hair, tugging on it a bit. Luke understands why Michael likes it when Luke does that to him.

Luke plants a kiss to Michael’s inner thigh before pushing one slicked finger into Michael, eyes never leaving Michael’s face so he can immediately pull out if Michael shows any signs of pain or displeasure. To Luke’s surprise, Michael’s eyes are screwed shut and he’s tugging on Luke’s hair, hard as he moans.

And then Luke remembers that this isn’t Michael’s first time bottoming, probably. He’s probably done this countless times before and he’s used to it by now.

Luke shakes that thought out of his head immediately. They’re here now, he’s Michael’s and Michael’s his. That’s all that matters.

In ten minutes Luke has three fingers pumping in and out of Michael who has his eyes shut, Luke’s name spilling past his lips as he pulls on both Luke’s hair and the bed sheets in pleasure, back arching off the mattress, meeting Luke’s fingers halfway.

“Luke,” Michael groans, giving his hair a hard pull to get his attention. He looks up at his beautiful, fucked out, green eyes. “Luke, I’m ready, please. I can’t hold off any longer I-“ Luke shuts him up by pushing his tongue into Michael’s mouth, kissing him roughly as he pulls his fingers out of him, making Michael whine at the loss of friction.

“Just a sec, Mikey,” Luke bites his lip as he grabs the abandoned bottle of lube, slicking his cock up, making sure it’s all covered in lube so he won’t end up hurting Michael somehow.

“Ready?” Luke asks once he’s done, positioning himself on top of Michael, hands on either side of his head. He lifts his head off the pillow, kissing Luke’s lips before dropping back down, his black hair fanning across the white pillow.

“Ready, babe.” And Luke doesn’t need to be told twice. He pushes himself into Michael, as gently and as slowly as he possibly can, so terrified he’d hurt Michael somehow, treating him like he’s made of porcelain.

But Michael isn’t having it. He grabs a hold of Luke’s hips and ass, pulling him closer and helping him to thrust all the way in, both of them letting out a long, heavy breath.

“Shit.” Luke says, face dropping to rest on Michael’s shoulder, biting down on it gently.

“Yeah, shit,” Michael agrees, giggling breathlessly. “Feels so fucking good, babe.”

Luke takes a minute, hovering above Michael, giving them both a moment to breathe and adjust. It’s so overwhelming, it’s good and new and all too much too fast, they both need to breathe.

But then Michael moves his hips, just a little, and it’s enough to set Luke off. He asks Michael if he’s good to go and when he says yes Luke pulls out almost all the way before slamming right back into him, roughly, not treating him like he might break anymore.

“ _Luke_ ,” Michael’s hands fly up to grip Luke’s broad shoulders, digging his blunt nails into Luke’s soft skin which coaxes out a throaty moan from him. Everything Michael does is so hot to Luke and he knows he’s not going to last too long. He has a feeling Michael isn’t going to either.

“This feels so good, _you_ feel so good,” Luke says between thrusts, his pace quickens up with every snap of his hips until Michael’s body moves up the mattress every time Luke pushes in.

They’re both moaning and panting, chests rising and falling quickly as Luke uses all his energy to pound Michael into the mattress while Michael meets him halfway, nails still scratching at Luke’s skin.

“Babe, I’m-“ Michael tries, but gets cut off by his own moan as Luke repeatedly hits his prostate, not giving him any time to breathe or think.

“I know,” Luke says, throwing his head back in pleasure. “Me too.”

Luke reaches between them, meaning to touch Michael’s cock, wanting to help him reach his high but Michael swats his hand away before bringing it up to his lips, kissing Luke’s knuckles.

“Just like that. Just you.” Michael whispers and Luke’s breath gets caught in his throat. He’s so mesmerized by all of this, by Michael. He’s so beautiful lying on his back underneath Luke, his legs wrapped around Luke’s body as his nails dig holes into Luke’s skin but he doesn’t even care.

Every noise Michael makes and every time he squeezes his eyes shut or bites his lip pushes Luke closer to an orgasm.

“Want you to come first.” Luke mutters before using a trick Michael uses on him, lifting Michael’s leg up and resting it on his shoulder so he has better access and can thrust into him harder and deeper.

“Fuck, Luke!” Michael screams as Luke pounds into his prostate, hitting it time after time, making Michael curse.

“Do it, Mikey. Please. I wanna see it.” Luke whispers into Michael’s ear, biting on his lobe. And then Michael clutches Luke’s shoulder even tighter and he’s coming with a loud cry of Luke’s name, body squirming and shaking under Luke. Luke can’t take his eyes off.

“Your turn.” Michael says once he comes down from his high and Luke doesn’t want to make Michael uncomfortable, he’s just about to pull out of him and finish himself off when Michael places a knowing hand on his chest and clenches around him.

Luke’s vision goes black for a second as his hips buck up into Michael as he’s coming, hard, possibly harder than he ever has before, face hidden in Michael’s neck as he lets out quick gasps, biting Michael’s neck.

***

That night they fall asleep curled up into each other like they always do, fingers laced together. Luke falls asleep to the sound of Michael’s voice quietly singing in his ear, making his eyes flutter shut as he passes out with a happy, pleased smile on his face.

Michael completely made him forget that in just a few hours they’ll have to get out of bed and go to the beach house where they’re gonna pack Luke’s bags. Luke’s leaving. In less than twelve hours he’s going to be in the car on his way home. He isn’t ready.

***

Michael wakes Luke up at ten, practically peeling him off the bed. They’re both tired and worn out, Luke’s legs feel like jelly. Michael has to force him to his feet and help him get dressed and pushes a glass of water into his hand, making him drink it before grabbing his keys and Luke’s hand and pulling him out of the house.

The walk to the beach house is silent. They walk hand in hand, but Luke isn’t able to say a word. He knows that if he dared to even open his mouth he’ll start crying and he doesn’t want to do that. Not yet.

When they arrive at the beach house Ashton yells at them for not being there earlier. “We have to leave soon, damn it!” he yells as he rushes them upstairs and into Luke’s room where Michael helps him pack.

Luke doesn’t say a single word the entire time. Michael tries to talk from time to time, asking Luke what he’s gonna do when he gets home or if he’s excited about starting college next week. Luke doesn’t respond with more than a nod or a shake of his head.

When Luke’s all packed up Calum offers to load his bags into the car while he has a couple of minutes alone with Michael.

“Baby, please, please say something. You can’t leave like that, you have to say goodbye properly.” Michael shakes Luke by the shoulders, trying to get him to finally say something.

“It’s not goodbye for good, Luke. we’re too good together, this doesn’t end here. We’re going to text and Skype and call each other every single day until I can visit. It’s gonna be alright. I love you. That’s all that matters. Baby, please.” Michael’s tone is breaking Luke’s heart. A tear slips out of the corner of his eye, slowly trailing down his cheek and into his chin.

“I love you. I love you. I love you so much, Michael. I don’t ever want to leave.” Luke’s voice breaks as Michael pulls him into his chest, letting his sob and hiccup into the black fabric.

When he calms down and pushes himself away from Michael so he can Luke at him, he sees that Michael’s smiling at him.

“You’re beautiful even when you cry. You never cease to amaze me, Luke.” Michael says as he wipes under Luke’s eyes, getting rid of all the remains of tears before kissing both of his cheeks and then his nose.

“I love you so fucking much. That’s not gonna change just because you’re away. We’re still together, you’re still my boyfriend. We’re going to figure this out. I love you.” Michael speaks quickly before pressing his lips to Luke’s.

Someone clears their throat behind Michael so they break the kiss, both looking in the voice’s direction. Ashton is leaning on the doorframe, Calum by his side with his arm around his waist. That’s new.

Or is it, really?

“We have to leave, Luke. I’m so sorry.” Calum says and Ashton nods.

Michael and Luke exchange a quick look before Michael reaches down and grabs Luke’s hand and they all walk outside in silence.

“I’m gonna miss you, damn it. You better come visit us soon.” Ashton says to Michael, wrapping his arms around him, hugging him tightly.

“I will, I promise. I love you guys, you’re all my best friends.” Michael says, squeezing Ashton before letting him go. He gives Luke a small smile before he climbs into the driver’s seat, waiting for Calum and Luke to say goodbye.

“Bye, Mikey. I’ll see you soon, yeah?” Calum smiles widely and Michael nods. They hug for a couple of seconds, holding each other as Michael whispers something into Calum’s ear. Calum nods and lets go of Michael, squeezing his arm one last time before climbing into the seat next to Ashton.

“So, this is it.” Michael bites his lip, opening his arms for Luke to fir between. He does. They fit perfectly. Luke can’t believe he has to go, he has to leave Michael behind.

“I love you, Mikey.” Is all Luke manages to choke out. Michael nods, stroking Luke’s hair gently.

“I love you too, so much. And I’ll see you soon. Don’t worry.” Michael whispers into his hair, planting a kiss there.

“Kiss me.” Luke breathes and Michael nods, pressing his lips to Luke’s gently and softly. It’s not a needy or rough kiss, it’s gentle and it’s just them sliding their lips together and it feels perfect. A perfect way to end this. A perfect last kiss until they can see each other again.

“Go, baby. They’re waiting.” Michael pushes the hair out of Luke’s forehead, kissing Luke’s nose. “I love you.”

And then Luke is detaching himself from Michael and he instantly feels cold. He doesn’t want to leave. His heart breaks as his feet carry him to the car, and he slides into the backseat, face pressed into the back window as he watches Michael.

He waves as Ashton starts the car and it starts moving, taking him away from Michael. A fresh set of tears run down Luke’s cheeks as he waves back.

Luke falls asleep crying in the backseat.

When he wakes up an hour later Calum and Ashton are talking quietly, probably not wanting to wake Luke. He smiles to himself, he loves his friends.

He sits up and Ashton smiles at him through the mirror and then Calum is turning around to look at him.

“Hey, Lukey,” he reaches out and takes Luke’s hand, squeezing it. “How’re you doing?”

Luke shrugs. And then when Calum’s squeezing his hand again he remembers that Michael whispered something to Calum back then when they were saying goodbye and a wave of curiosity hits him.

“Cal?” he says quietly. Calum hums to let him know he’s listening, not letting go of Luke’s hand.

“What did Michael say to you back there?” he asks and Calum’s grin widens.

“He made me promise that Ashton and I need to watch over you. He told me to keep an eye on you until he’s able to do it himself. He told me to remind you he loves you every day.” Calum says and Luke’s heart swells as he feels his throat closing up again.

“And we’re going to keep that promise.” Ashton says, winking through the rear mirror.

Luke smiles, squeezing Calum’s hand. He’s going to be okay. He has his two best friends. They’re going to take care of him, and this isn’t the end with Michael. They’re going to work this out.

At least he can say he had the best summer, the summer of his dreams before he starts a new chapter of his life, he’s going to college.

And for now he can say that they’re taking the long way home.


	17. epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is so strange, i can't believe this is the last chapter i'm gonna post!! I know it took me so, so long and i'm terribly sorry but hey, here it is!!! i can't believe i just finished my first full length fic, this is insane. i can't believe i've written over 60k words and i can't believe i managed to actually finish writing this, i'm so glad i didn't drop it in the middle. i've had so much fun writing this and i just wanna say thank you for reading! this is amazing and i saw and appreciated every single comment i've ever received on here, i swear. thank you guys so much.
> 
> so here's the epilogue, enjoy!! i hope it won't disappoint :-)
> 
> (ps, as usual, i was so eager to post this i stayed up until 8am to finish writing this so if there are any typos or mistakes i'll fix them tomorrow!!)

The past few months have been the best and worst of Luke’s life.

College is exciting and scary at the same time, his schedule is insane and he’s trying to balance all his schoolwork with his job at the coffee shop that’s across the street from the apartment he’s sharing with Ashton and Calum.

Overall, Luke loves college. He has to work hard and manage his time carefully, but it’s fun. He meets a bunch of new people every day and he’s living like a grown up, he manages his own money and he has to deal with living by himself, without his parents, it’s all different.

The only thing Luke is missing is Michael. He misses him all the time, even when he’s talking to him, which is, like, all the time. It’s a routine; The first thing Luke does when he wakes up is blindly reaching out for his phone, texting Michael good morning before dragging himself out of bed. They text all day, during classes or work and when Luke gets home from school they Skype for hours until they fall asleep together. It isn’t much, it isn’t like being able to kiss or hug but it’s something.

Luke’s birthday is approaching faster than Luke could’ve imagined, just a mere day until he turns nineteen and until Michael’s visiting him. Luke is trying not to gets his hopes up, knowing that with his own screwed up luck something is going to go terribly wrong and he’s not going to see Michael, so he’s trying not to get all too excited before he can actually hold Michael and touch him and kiss him.

Luke misses Michael.

He can’t even concentrate in any of his classes the day before his birthday, all he can think about is finally seeing Michael again before scolding himself for getting overexcited again.

***

“Luke?” Luke faintly hears someone saying his name and then shaking his shoulder lightly, pulling him out of the nice dream he was having about Michael.

“Mhm?” he hums, not wanting to open his eyes just yet. It’s his damn birthday, can’t he sleep in peace? But then it hits him that _it’s his birthday_. He sits up so fast he almost rolls over and off the bed. The first thing he’s met with is Calum’s eyes and it makes Luke’s heart drop. He knows something’s going on by the way Calum’s eyeing him and the way Ashton’s looking at the both of them from the foot of the bed.

“What is it?” he asks, rubbing sleep out of his eyes, heart pounding in his chest. That’s it, Michael isn’t coming. It’s all over now, his birthday is ruined. “He’s not coming, is he?” Calum sighs, looking at Ashton, asking for help.

“He called, his flight keeps getting delayed, there’s a storm,” Ashton explains softly, hand reaching out to touch Luke’s leg that’s resting next to him. “He called us because he didn’t want to wake you. He’s at the airport now, he says he’ll be here as soon as possible but he’s hoping his flight won’t get cancelled.”

Luke tries to hide the pang of disappointment he feels in his chest. He knew something was going to go wrong, nothing ever works out for Luke. He knows it isn’t Michael’s fault, he knows he can’t control the weather or the flight schedules but he’s angry. He’s angry at the universe for always ruining it for Luke, all he wanted was for Michael to be here for his birthday.

“I’m sorry, Lukey,” Calum presses himself against Luke’s side, hugging him tightly. “We’re here, though. We can go out for breakfast and then do whatever you want. It’s your day.” Calum whispers, nuzzling up to Luke’s side, reminding Luke of a cat. He can’t help the small smile that’s spreading on his lips.

“Happy birthday, Luke.” Ashton joins the embrace, sitting on Luke’s other side and wrapping his arms around him and Calum.

“Instead of going out, could we order some food and watch How I Met Your Mother?” Luke asks and Calum chuckles by his side and he feels him shaking his head.

“Of course, whatever you want, Luke,” Ashton smiles, and gets up and off the bed. “I’ll go get us some food.”  When he’s almost out the door, he pauses and looks back at Calum and Luke.

“And Calum, get him out of bed,” Ashton says, jerking his chin in Luke’s direction. Calum nods at Ashton before he finally leaves Luke’s small bedroom, still laughing.

***

“We’ve watched this episode yesterday, Luke!” Calum groans to Luke’s left side, throwing his head back in frustration. Luke already came to peace with the fact that his friends will never understand his love for this show and will not let him watch it in peace.

“It’s my birthday.” Is all Luke has to say, but it’s good enough. Who’s going to argue with the sad, pathetic, birthday boy who won’t get to see his boyfriend and celebrate with him?

They watch another episode in silence, the only sound coming from the room is Luke’s occasional giggling at the show.

“I don’t understand why I can’t call him,” Luke says the second the episode is over. He’s asked that question at least seven times since he woke up, but Ashton and Calum insist that there’s no way to reach Michael at the moment.

“When we talked to him he said he was running out of battery and he’s going to try and get on the earliest flight,” Ashton says softly, not seeming annoyed by the fact that Luke’s already been explained. Unlike Calum who won’t quit grunting and huffing on Luke’s other side.

“The lines are dead, the call was pretty sketchy, I barely managed to hear it. The storm’s pretty bad,” Ashton continues, wrapping an arm around Luke’s shoulders, pulling him closer so Luke rests his head on Ashton’s shoulder. “You know he’d be here already if he could. He’s doing his best, but he can’t control the weather. Not even Michael can.”

So Luke doesn’t ask any more questions. He simply sighs, letting a small tear roll down his cheek as Ashton keeps whispering calming things in his ear. But then Luke’s phone rings and Luke’s heart starts pounding, it has to be Michael.

He doesn’t even look at the caller ID before he smacks the green ‘Receive’ button and accepts the call.

“Hello?” Luke’s voice is so hopeful and cheerful, it has to be Michael. Maybe he called to say he’s boarding now and he’ll see Luke in a mere three hours.

“Happy birthday, Luke!” his mom, dad and brothers’ voices yell from the other end as they start to sing. Luke loves them, he really does. But he can’t hide the wave of disappointment that rocks through him as he realizes it isn’t Michael.

“Hey, guys. Thanks!” Luke forces the best happy tone he can muster, hoping his family won’t notice his lack of enthusiasm.

“How are you spending the day? Is Michael there?” His mother asks. She hasn’t met Michael yet, no one has except for Ashton and Calum, but he told his family all about Michael.

Well, not all. Minus the… _explicit_ details.

His family was really excited to hear that Luke found someone and his mother insisted that when Michael visits they’ll have him over for dinner, they were talking about the following week but right now Luke isn’t even sure if he’s going to see Michael any time soon.

“Uh, no, mom. Michael’s flight got delayed, there’s a storm. He doesn’t know when or even if he’s going to be able to make it.” He speaks fast, trying not to let his voice crack. He doesn’t want to break and start crying over the phone while his whole family is listening.

“Oh, no, Luke! I’m so sorry,” his mother’s voice is high pitched and Luke knows that tone. She’s going full mom on him, he’s doomed. “Do you want us to come over? You know we’re only an hour away, it’s no trouble. We can all come over and we’ll bring you some food or something? Or you could come over here! Bring Calum and Ashton, we’ll have a big family dinner and-“ she doesn’t get the finish that sentence, she gets cut off by someone taking the phone out of her hand. Luke hears shuffling and arguing before someone clears their throat.

“We’ve got mom handled, don’t worry, little bro.” Luke recognizes his brother’s, Jack, voice. “Happy birthday, though. How’s being nineteen?” Jack says and Luke chuckles.

“Doesn’t feel any different. I just wish Michael was here.” Luke says with a sigh and he feels Calum touching his thigh, giving it a comforting squeeze. Just to let him know he’s there and Luke appreciates that. He loves his friends.

“I know, I know. He’ll be there, don’t worry. Even if he’s late, he’s trying.” Jack says and then Luke hears his mother yelling something in the background about how no one appreciates her in this house and they won’t even let her speak to her son on his own birthday and Luke laughs.

“Go take care of mom for me,” Luke says with a giggle, already feeling better and Jack chuckles.

“I will. Are you going to be okay?”

Luke sighs. “Yes, I have Cal and Ash. I’ll be fine.”

“I have no doubt. Happy birthday, Luke. We love you, yeah?” Jack says and Luke feels the tears burning at the back of his eyes again. He loves his family and his friends. He’s so grateful and he doesn’t say it enough, he’s just busy moping over Michael.

“I love you guys, very much. Tell mom we’ll be there for dinner when Michael gets here.” Luke says.

“I will. Bye, birthday boy.” Jack says and hangs up so Luke places his phone back in his pocket, closing his eyes with a deep, pathetic sigh.

“Hey, Luke?” Calum says after a minute, breaking the silence and poking Luke’s cheek with the tip of his finger, where his dimple usually is when he smiles.

“What?” Luke asks quietly, voice defeated, not feeling very much like smiling at the moment.

“Get your ass up, we have a surprise for you,” Calum orders, letting his hand drop from Luke’s face as he gets up and a second later Luke feels Ashton getting up too. He knows they’re towering over him, looking down at him but he doesn’t even feel like opening his eyes.

“I don’t feel like going out, guys. I’m tired and upset and I miss Michael,” Luke whines, his bottom lip jutting out in a lame pout. He loves his friends and he appreciates their effort of making this birthday a bit less sad or pathetic but Luke just feels like slouching on the couch with ice cream, feeling sorry for himself.

“We want to cheer you up, it’s your birthday. Get up!” Ashton calls, making Luke finally open his eyes. They both look so determined.

“Where are we going?” Luke asks as he slowly gets up. The second he’s on his feet, Ashton and Calum grab either arm of his and pull him with them, rushing him out the door of their small apartment.

“Guys, what the hell!” Luke protests, digging his heels into the floor as he’s being dragged outside. He knows he has no chance against Ashton and Calum, the two most muscular people he knows, probably, but he still tries. He’s pretty sure this counts as kidnapping, he might press charges.

“I hate you,” Luke mutters as he’s being pushed into the small, creaking elevator and Ashton hits the button and they’re going down. “You can’t make me go clubbing, or whatever it is you’re trying to make me do! I don’t want to go out!”

“Will you stop yelling?” Ashton looks at Luke with that scary, stern look of his and Luke stops talking. He knows better than to mess with Ashton.

Luke lets them drag him into the car where he’s shoved into the backseat. He thinks it’s really unfair, how they sit next to each other and whisper God knows what to each other and he’s left to sulk in the backseat. It’s his birthday, for fuck’s sake!

The car ride is about ten minutes and Luke is really confused when they’re parking next to a small apartment building, just when the sun is starting to set. Luke looks up at the sky, it’s going to rain soon.

“Where are we? What are even doing here?” Luke looks around. Maybe it’s some secret, underground club or something.

“We’re visiting a friend, it’ll be quick. We can go wherever you want after that,” Calum says, draping an arm around Luke’s shoulder as they start walking.

They enter the building and make their way to the elevator where Ashton and Calum exchange a weird-looking look before Calum shrugs and Ashton presses the third floor button and they wait in silence until there’s a ding and the doors open and they’re stepping out.

Luke finds himself facing a wooden door, waiting for someone to do something. Ashton and Calum exchange yet another weird look and Luke really has no idea what’s going on. But he doesn’t have time to ask because Calum is reaching out and knocking on the door.

There are footsteps shuffling and Luke definitely hears something hitting the floor and he looks between Calum and Ashton, still trying to figure out what’s going on.

But then the door opens and Luke’s breath hitches and he’s positive his heart stops beating as he looks down at the freshly dyed blond hair and those familiar green eyes he loves so much. Instead of throwing himself at Michael, Luke just stands there, completely frozen.

He’s shocked and definitely confused. When did Michael get here, wasn’t there a storm? What is this place? Has Michael been hiding in this place for long? Why hasn’t anyone said anything to Luke? How long have the three of them been planning this?

He has so many questions but he doesn’t get the chance to ask anything as Michael smiles and rolls his eyes fondly before reaching out and grabbing Luke by the collar of his sweater, pulling him into him and hugging him as tightly as he can.

“Michael?” Luke whispers into his ear as he inhales the scent he’s been dreaming about for months.

“Yeah, babe, I’m here. I’m here and I’ve got you,” Michael whispers back, not letting go of Luke but instead, tightening his hold of him. If he pulls Luke any closer they’ll emerge into one person. He can barely breathe and he’s still really lost, but he doesn’t even care. Michael has his arms around him and he’s there, he’s standing right there.

“Let’s go inside, yeah? I’ll explain everything,” Michael says after a minute, moving his hands so they’re holding Luke by the shoulders, pushing him backwards a bit so he can look at him properly. God, Luke had missed those pretty, green eyes. “I know you must be confused.”

Luke is still pretty shocked and he thinks he’s crying but he isn’t even sure, so he simply nods and lets Michael grab a hold of his hand, something that Luke had been craving for months, and pulls him inside, Calum and Ashton following suit in silence. Luke is positive this is the longest they’ve gone without speaking.

They walk into the small apartment and Luke looks around and he’s starting to connect the dots, he thinks. He spots more than a few items he recognizes from Michael’s apartment where he’d spend a decent amount of his time during their vacation and Luke wants to believe what he thinks is happening, but he also doesn’t want to start hoping again. So he stays quiet and lets Michael lead him into the tiny TV room where he gestures for everyone to sit.

Luke and Michael share the smaller couch, shoulders and thighs bumping, while Ashton and Calum share the opposite couch and the room falls into silence.

“Happy birthday, baby. I’ve missed you.” Is the first thing Michael says to break the silence. He’s looking at Luke with that smug smirk of his and Luke wants to kiss it away. So he does just that.

He cups Michael’s face in both hands and pulls him into a desperate, needy kiss. It isn’t gentle in the slightest, they have months of being apart to catch up on. It’s all teeth and tongue and they don’t stop until Calum clears his throat and they remember they’re not alone yet.

“Okay, so I’m assuming you want an explanation for all of this,” Michael smiles and Luke rolls his eyes. He hasn’t said a single word yet, he’s too lost.

“So, remember when I told you I’d come visit you on your birthday, that I was going to save up money for a ticket and that I was going to use all the money I’ve earned from working at Wonderland?” Michael asks and Luke knows it’s a rhetorical question and he isn’t supposed to answer, but he still nods. Michael sighs and reaches out, lacing his fingers with Luke’s.

“I’ve been saving up for years, Luke. I’m not rich or anything, not even close, but I had a nice amount of money. I knew that one day I was going to find a reason to leave that small beach town, and I did. I found that reason, Luke, it’s you. So the second you left I started looking for apartments in the area, something that’ll be close to your school.

It isn’t much, I know. But I’m going to work, I’ll save up more money and when the day comes we’ll find a bigger and better apartment, but I thought this could work, for now? I think this might be too much and I know I haven’t mentioned this to you before and I’m sorry, but I wanted to surprise you. Calum and Ashton have been helping me for months, we’ve slowly shipped out all of my stuff from y old apartment to this one.” Michael chuckles, glancing over to where Ashton and Calum are sitting. Luke follows his eyes and is met with his friends, grinning. He’s still in shock, this is all so much so fast.

“I know this is a lot, but there’s no pressure, nothing has to change. You don’t have to move here, not yet if that’s not something you want yet. But I’ll be here, I’ll be close. We can see each other every day. I’ll find a job and save up and one day I’ll have enough to find you a more fitting place, this is temporary and-“ Luke can’t take it anymore. He has to tell Michael to stop because he’s talking like he did something terrible.

“Michael, shut up,” Luke chuckles, voice cracking. He isn’t sure if he wants to laugh or cry. “This is so, this is amazing, Michael. I’m just really overwhelmed, I wasn’t expecting this. I spent the whole day moping and sulking when you were here, making this. I can’t believe you did this for me.” Luke barely manages to control himself now and a tear slips out of the corner of his eyes, slowly sliding down his cheek.

Michael reaches out and wipes it with his thumb, not letting his hand drop from Luke’s cheek. “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything before.”

Luke shakes his head and leans into Michael, pecking his lips lightly. “I don’t care.”

“I think we’ll leave you guys be, we just wanted to be here to see Luke’s reaction.” Ashton says, getting up, pulling Calum with him.

“Guys?” Luke calls after them, before they leave. “Thank you.” He smiles at them and they both grin back at him.

“Happy birthday, Luke.” Calum says with a nod. And then they’re leaving, shutting the door after them and leaving Luke and Michael alone.

“Hi,” Michael says once the room is silent again, a grin spreading across his lips. It’s contagious, it always has been, because Luke feels the corners of his mouth tug up in a grin, mirroring Michael.

“Hey.” Luke chuckles and Michael squeezes his hand.

“So, what do you say?” Michael asks softly and Luke knows he’s nervous, he can see it. The way he’s biting his lip and playing with Luke’s fingers.

“This is so, so amazing, Mikey. No one has ever done anything like that for me, this is incredible. I can’t believe you honestly left your whole life behind and came here just for me. I, just, I don’t want you to feel like you have to, you know? I don’t want you to regret this.” Luke voices the worry that’s been floating around his mind for the past ten minutes. He doesn’t want Michael to hate it here and to end up resenting Luke for making him move up here.

“Luke, Luke, no.” Michael says, shifting closer to Luke. “You didn’t make me do anything, I did this because I wanted to. When you left, Luke, I realized that I have nothing left back there. I had an apartment and a job, but I didn’t really have anything. No strings to keep attached. You were my string, Luke. When you left I felt so lonely and I realized that this is where I want to be, here, with you. I love you, okay? And that’s all that matters.”

Luke is in complete awe. Michael has to be the most amazing, brave and beautiful person he’s ever met. He still can’t believe he did all of this for him. He packed up everything he had and quit his job just to come up here, wasting all of his money on an apartment for them to live in. Just so they can be together. How could Luke ever say no to that? And why would he want to?

“I love you. I love you so much. I’m so glad you’re here. I can’t wait to pack my stuff and move in here with you, Mikey. This is amazing, this is all I’ve been dreaming about for months. You’re amazing, this is amazing. Everything is amazing.” Luke realizes he’s rambling and Michael giggles fondly, pressing his forehead to Luke’s, nose bumping.

“I love you so much. So, so much. And I’ve missed you. There’s nowhere in the world I’d rather be right now.” Michael whispers before eagerly sliding his lips across Luke’s, capturing his moth in a loving kiss.

“Hey, Luke?” Michael breaks the kiss but doesn’t move away from Luke, their lips still touching as he speaks.

“Yeah, Mikey?” Luke chuckles into Michael’s mouth, making his smile widen.

“Happy birthday, babe.”

**Author's Note:**

> So yes, this is it. I hope you liked it! Please let me know what you think!! :)


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